Book of Songs
The best of my dark poetry
By
44E
The Grove, Isleworth, Middx,
Tel: +44
(0)20 8847 5586
Preface
This is the best of my dark poetry,
six books in all, written during the last 15 years. This book of songs was put
together at the request of a musician friend of mine who was looking for songs.
I thought, I may as well put it online and see if others are interested.
There are two sections, the
normal songs which could be adapted into any style, and the rap/heavy metal
section. That last section does not mean that the songs really need to be rap or
heavy metal songs, however they appear to be better spoken than sang, or they
are a bit more extreme, in the spirit of rap/heavy metal songs.
If you are interested in turning
these into songs, even modify them for your needs, and perhaps recycle many
good lines from different songs to make new ones, please contact me and we will
come to an arrangement.
Though this is copyrighted work,
you can distribute them around for free with my name and contact details on
them, and even put them online elsewhere as long as you link them to my
website. If you turn them into songs, I will then have to be recognized as the
author, or co-author if you wish to modify or add to them.
Part 1 – Any Style Songs
It always comes back to that, isn’t it?
My new big venture will destroy everything
Poetry to Galvanise a Whole Generation
I am Saint Karen from New York
I don’t want to fall in love again!
Permanent Summer with Palm Trees and
Canyons
Whatever it is you couldn’t stand about me
Los Angeles does not really exist
Hail to the bugs, the true leaders of this
world
Beyond
that Californian Mountain
Tomorrow will be such a great day all over
L.A.!
I cannot be trusted, I will fail every time
I have lived! And now I can die…
I Go from One Extreme to the Other
There’s Nothing Worse Than People With Principles
Oh
Gloria, If You Hadn’t Loved Cider So Much . . .
Dear
God, Let Me Be Done With It
Come On, Damn It, I’ve Got a Life to Live
Part 2 – Rap/Heavy Metal Songs (more extreme)
We may still save humanity in America
The World is filled with Backstabbers
They’ve been testing me, like a rat!
Have you lost Faith in Destiny?
Oh
please let me be happy again!
Everyone
needs to start somewhere
History has got nothing to do with you
Study your symbolism, for god’s sake!
Desperate for a gun in America
Let me buy you out just to shut you up
The Mormon’s Disney Land in Utah
Notice of Resignation, The Perfect Sample
Letter
A
Serious Problem with Authority
I’m
Going to Find Myself a Whore
I’m Your
Inflatable Virgin Mary
Part 1 – Any Style Songs
It always comes
back to that, isn’t it?
(chorus:)
It always comes back to that, isn’t it?
Oh yes it does
Dear me
I’ve seen it comin’
I always do
What is it this time?
What is this big secret which will again
Devastate me?
Irretrievably change my life
To keep me exactly where I am now
Where we’ve always been?
It always comes back to that, isn’t it?
Oh yes it does
Dear me
I’ve seen it comin’
I always do
Oh please!
Can we live this life without anymore downfalls?
Is it not possible to live a life
Of total inaction?
All you need is one day
To destroy it all
When all we have ever been able to reach
Is the bottom of the ocean
Deeper and deeper
It always comes back to that, isn’t it?
Oh yes it does
Dear me
I’ve seen it comin’
I always do
No matter how hard you try
To reach some sort of happiness
Just for a while
It can never last
You get right back to square one
Always
It always comes back to that, isn’t it?
Oh yes it does
Dear me
I’ve seen it comin’
I always do
Another disaster
Another crisis
Some suffering
A lot of crying
Once again completely lost
Alone in the world
With great unexplored vastness in front of
our eyes
Wishing we could fly and reach it all
Discover a new horizon
Less horrible than the precedent
As a law of nature
We can only find
Worse
It always comes back to that, isn’t it?
Oh yes it does
Dear me
I’ve seen it comin’
I always do
It always comes back to that, isn’t it?
Yes, it always comes back to that
It always comes back to that, isn’t it?
Yes, it always comes back to that
There’s no way out for people like us…
There’s no way out for people like us…
There’s no way out for people like us.
Reaching an
Crisis Mode
Panic Attack
Here we are
The End of Days
Just like in the movies
It was all true after all
I can’t think anymore!
I can’t breathe anymore!
I’ve reached another
Crisis Mode
Panic Attack
Right here on
Dying on the street in
How was that a surprise?
They were all born here
They all died here
The legends
Drunk to full capacity
Drugged to full capacity
This is where
Over the cliff
Crisis Mode
Panic Attack
The End of Days
For me to discover now
To understand
To assimilate
To digest
The enormity of it
The enormity of it all
I will accept my destiny
I will go through it all
I will live through hell
But
I will survive
My
My new big venture will destroy
everything
(chorus 1:)
This time I will hit it big
Yes I will
Another big crazy idea
Just have to pursue it
Until it drains all my energy
And destroy just about
Everything else that is still standing in
my life
My new big venture!
It will revolutionize everything
Once again
Never mind that none of my other big
ventures
Never went anywhere
(chorus 2:)
Maybe
Just Maybe
One day
It will revolutionize everything
It will be huge
It will change everything
By destroying
Just about
Everything else
Still standing
In my life…
Maybe
Just Maybe
One day
It will revolutionize everything
I won’t stop now!
I have another big venture idea
That will change everyone’s life
For the worst
It is in the nature
Of every new big venture
This time I will hit it big
Yes I will
Just have to be crazy enough
To sacrifice everything
Once again
For just any
New great big venture
Maybe
Just Maybe
One day
It will revolutionize everything
This time I will hit it big
Yes I will
I know it
Yes I do
Yes I will
I know it
Yes I do
Yes I will
I will
Will
She is legendary
She is powerful
Intelligent
My imaginary girlfriend
She wants it all the time
She begs for more
She wants to please me all the way
My imaginary girlfriend
Just as well
Being so unremarkable
That my imaginary girlfriend
Is just imaginary
She’s filthy rich
More successful than Madonna
And pure of heart
My imaginary girlfriend
I can depend on her
I love her and she truly loves me
She even knows how to shut up
My imaginary girlfriend
Just as well
Being so unremarkable
That my imaginary girlfriend
Is just imaginary
She does not smoke
She does not drink
She’s certainly not a drug addict
My imaginary girlfriend
She’s not a bitch
She’s not killing me
She does not need to be shot in the head
My imaginary girlfriend
Just as well
Being so unremarkable
That my imaginary girlfriend
Is just imaginary
Oh
dear, oh dear
What
have I done?
I
offended you
I
stole everything from you
I
understood the whole of your miserable life
I
took pity on you
Oh
dear, oh dear
What
have I done?
You’re
my best friend, my only friend
I
love you more than you could imagine
I
thought that you were mine and no one else’s
But
you have a life I know nothing about
Oh
dear, oh dear
What
have I done?
I
did not mean to
I’ve
destroyed everything
In
less time than it took to establish this impossible friendship
At
least you know me, I was wild from the beginning
Oh
dear, oh dear
What
have I done?
Could
this be the end of that friendship?
Is
it impossible to forgive whatever it was?
Are
we going to be strangers even in the promised land?
It
depends entirely on you
Oh
dear, oh dear
What
have I done?
I’ve got a headache
No problem
Just all my energy
Ready to explode
I’ve got this urge in me
To make another world from this world
Look, it’s there, it’s here . . .
A real world!
I’m not mad
I’m not dead
I’ve got all this for you
And it’s ready to explode
You won’t have time to see
Won’t have time to hear
Even though it’s all around you
I’m ready to explode
I’m going to inspire the masses
I’m inspiring the masses
With whispers
As powerful as guns
Come on, come on!
I’m alive!
I cry out to life!
We’re going to create this world!
We’re motivated enough to get somewhere
To build a new world
Recreate an earthly paradise
You’ve heard me!
Get going!
There are still things to inspire you in this world
Things to save lost souls
We can’t forget that hell is waiting to explode
Can’t forget who we are
Our humble origins can become great
Be proud of what we represent
And fulfil a great destiny
Enough of self-absorption
Self-pity
We are as huge as the universe
We are the universe!
Ready to explode!
There’s a life after life
An existence after what they’ve made us see
It’s strong and powerful!
It’s all the energy necessary to be born
It’s the sum of all the good songs
Of all the marginal personalities
It’s what inspires people to achieve the impossible
It’s what makes a people a great people
This infinite urge will be born in all nations of the universe
An enormous structure free from the shackles of the past
An extraordinary new inspiration
We’ll march all over the surface of the universe!
Understand the infinite capacity of everything
Understand the infinite definition of the world
Assimilating the whole world
Assimilating universal knowledge
Nothing will stop our progress through civilisations
No law, no ambitious wretch
No civil duty
We’ll live and live and live in total freedom!
The freedom to breathe
The freedom to act
The freedom to be
Freedom!
Poetry to Galvanise a Whole Generation
There was a time when poetry saved lives
A time when a young man would travel the roads of
To look for adventure on the open sea
Calling up a whole world of the imagination
And rejecting all convention
That was poetry to galvanise a whole generation
Now is the time when poetry saves lives
A time when the young travel the roads of the world
To look for adventure on the open sea
Calling up a whole world of the imagination
And rejecting all convention
That’s poetry to galvanise a whole generation
There will be a time when poetry saves lives
A time when the young will travel the roads of the world
To look for adventure on the open sea
Calling up a whole other world
And rejecting all convention
That will be poetry to galvanise a whole generation
Forgive me God for I have sinned
I thought in my madness that I could save the world
I thought I could make a difference
I thought I had the power to change things
They deported me
They put me in prison
They stripped me of all the rights I’d been granted
They stripped me of all the hope I’d built up for myself
I deserve it
I was deaf
I was blind
I wasn’t up to it
Now I’m silent
Now I’m invisible
Now I’m dead
Is that what you want?
Now there can be no pardon
No possible understanding
No magic vision
In my mind you’re dead
Oh God, how your logic puts us in the wrong
How your will fails to move us
How your wisdom is unknown to us
My sentence is that of humanity
We’ve all sinned
We’ve all thought we could save the world
We’ve all thought we could make a difference
We’ve all thought we had the power to change things
We all failed
Our
terrible sentence
Have they even got any hope in life?
Any joy in seeing daylight fill space?
Are they still thinking about science, philosophy and politics?
Do they think they’ll discover psychology one day, late in the
evening?
And has the wonderful world of money yet been born?
It’s called the world of marketing and sales
With project managers and managing directors
God must have created these things as irony or as vengeance
Once I saw a garden
Radishes, carrots, tomatoes
Earth and flowers
I didn’t see the advent of the business world written in the stars
Nor that of political wretchedness
I see the joy of someone who knows and can do nothing
Who walks free from every plague, every thought
Going out with no pressure, no qualifications
And walking all day without thinking about anything at all
A world that’s forgotten his existence
A world that doesn’t think any more
But lives and breathes
I walk in the wind
Learn to unlearn
To forget whatever we’ve tried to understand
Free myself from these machines and this noise
Flee from people running in all directions
I’m in quest of inaction
I want total emptiness
I want to live
Oh God!
They were all born in their own little world
They all interpreted your existence according to their own ideas
They all wrote their own bible and believed in it
They all thought they knew everything
They all thought they were right
They all waged war to impose their own ideas
They all killed in your name
Oh God!
Did you want so many nations and such wretchedness?
So many births and deaths?
Can pardon, absolution, ever come from all this hell?
We’re born, we die, just where we are
Freedom of thought has never motivated us
We all have our own laws, our own ways of doing things
They all waged war for their own ends
They all killed in your name
Oh God!
Didn’t you want us to convert our enemy?
Didn’t you want us to understand our enemy?
Didn’t you want us to help our enemy?
Didn’t you want us to love our enemy even if he kills us?
They all waged war
They all killed in your name
They’re all guilty
You probably wanted anarchy on earth?
I wanted to achieve great things
And I achieved them
I wanted to love the world
And I loved it
I wanted to travel over the oceans of the universe
And I travelled there
I wanted to understand the universe
And I understood it
I wanted to create wonderful things
And I created them
You don’t understand!
I’ve done everything
Loved everything
Understood everything
Created everything
But God’s work is never done
It’s always ongoing
And all the more majestic for that
It’s infinite
And I lack the energy
I lack the energy to achieve great things
To love infinitely
Understand infinitely
Create infinitely
I lack the energy to live in infinity
Who’s looking for life?
Is there life in this world?
I’ve been searching for it all my life
Late at night in the streets of the world
And I can now say
Death is the whole world
Death is in everything
Death is everywhere
So I can’t speak this language
So I’m here in this world without the right to life
And I still find a way of expressing myself
On all the oceans of this planet
There’s no land which can support life
Only hell
Words have no meaning
No way of expressing what I feel
The result of so many years of ordeal
Has only brought despair
In a world where I’ve got everything
It’s still not enough
I’m dying
I wrote some twenty-five volumes on the subject
You didn’t listen to a word
You produced a work on inspiring politicians
I didn’t listen to a word
You wanted to revolutionise everything, thought your nation great
and glorious
Nobody listened
I wanted to study something interesting in your universities
You didn’t listen to a word
You wanted my support and hard work
I didn’t listen to a word
You wanted to tear my country apart to be born among the nations of
the universe
Nobody listened
I wanted to play my part, I wanted to be what I am
You didn’t listen to a word
You scolded me for my way of life, for not being part of my nation
I didn’t listen to a word
Now you’ve got need of new blood because you’re dying
Nobody will listen to you again
It’s always possible to leave those you love
It’s always possible to follow other paths
It’s always possible to challenge everything from morning to night
It’s always possible to begin to live again
Be happy and free!
Create your own universe, even if you have to rewrite all the
dictionaries
You’ll be surprised at the results you can achieve
A personal success going well beyond what anyone else has hoped
It’s possible to make your life over again!
It’s possible to build a new world!
It’s possible to succeed according to your own principles!
It’s possible to be happy!
Being marginal has never been forbidden
Losing the respect of others has never been a problem
Saying that others are wrong is acceptable
Making a difference is something to be wished for
The only thing that counts is the final reckoning at the end of our
lives
The only results that count are those we’ve wanted to achieve
ourselves
We must free ourselves from everyone else
Be marginal and make a difference
Oh
God my darling
You
will see tonight what motivates a man
To
continue in this world
Oh
God, don't let me down
How
nice it is to be on top of the world again
Knowing
everything there is to know about everything
Did
you know you could know beyond the horizon
All
the things you used to know
All
thrown out the window
Oh
dear
There
is always another way to see things
To
interpret reality
Oh
god knows if without it I would not be alive
To
talk about it without talking about it
God
my darling
You
will see tonight what motivates a man
So
many songs could motivate you tonight
So
many people that could electrify you
And
you are thinking of death
Smoking
cigarettes until you spit blood
Drinking
until you cannot see anymore
Did
you have dreams?
Did
you think you could change the world?
I
do
I
have the most wonderful dreams
I
am changing the world
I
am
Though
I do not think anymore
Of
wonders and peace and infinities
The
horse has spoken
Destroyed
my ideals
No
matter
What
good are ideals when you have the dream?
I
won't sleep tonight
I
will be awake and talking about what matters most
To
drive you crazy
I
will open your eyes
I
will open your eyes to the real world
Being
the driving force behind a nation
Thinking
of new ways to be immortal
Deepest
sights and glories
I'll
show you, make you understand
That
you do not see and do not understand
My
deepest thoughts
Frightening
views of the underworld
What
is happening to this world without your knowledge
Isn't
that great
Oh
God my darling
You
will see tonight what motivates a man
To
continue in this world
Oh
God, don't let me down
God
my darling
You
will see tonight what motivates a man
Wasteland
Vast wasteland in front of you all
All you were ever able to produce and protect till death
It contains your life story
Your information in the making
DNA lost and lost and lost in and around
Like a slinky going through the heavens
The snakes walking in the spiral of your downfall
3D world for 2D people in a 1D thinking process
Oh shit, have I said too much for your poor mind?
You don't see
You don't understand
Because I don't want you to
I am killing myself over you
I am killing myself for you
I
am the person who will injure you for what you represent
I
am the rebel of your destiny
Your useless destiny
I don't need my 15 minutes of fame
To communicate that to you in a way that will never reach you
It is exploding in your face
You have never tried
To see beyond matter
Foolish destiny
You do not have the freedom of decision
You never had
Where you are now and where you are going was not written
It is happening and will happen without your consent, without your
decisions
It had to be, there is no other way
Where you are going now is computable
It obeys mathematical equations and there is no freedom of thought
Even I cannot free myself from it
Why bother then? God only knows
How sad must it be to know that we had no other choice than be
stupid
Obeying some sort of laws of irrationality beyond comprehension
Cannot commit suicide because there is no other way
Cannot be intelligent because there is no other way
You follow your own course, you cannot deviate
You do not choose
You do not really think
It was predetermined by nobody
That nobody that has the last laugh though it serves no purpose
Philosophy was going to happen one day
It was nice to think it meant something
Obviously it never meant anything
How else would you know exactly what will happen tomorrow?
There is no free will in this world
It is a pointless world
Can't commit suicide, it was not written in the stars
Unfortunately
I feel like I could almost feel it
I feel like I could almost reach it
Oh, it is all there to grasp and understand
And yet it is out of my reach!
Sometimes I understand
I can see beyond everything
I can surmise how the universe works
I can change destiny
Must be because I am totally disconnected
Must be because I am mad
I am certainly crazy
Visions or dreams?
Have I told you my brain is not working properly?
I am schizophrenic
I am suffering from epileptic seizures
Hallucinations of all sorts
That is how I finally connect the dots
That is how finally everything makes sense
That is why I understand the universe
That is why I understand that reality does not make any sense
I feel like I could almost feel it
I feel like I could almost reach it
Oh, it is all there to grasp and understand
And yet it is out of my reach!
I
see a well on the horizon
Quickly
I go there and throw some money in it
I
am so empty
I
make a wish
Will
all my dreams come true?
All
the changes in my life that I wish for?
Will
I suddenly be rich and famous?
No
need to do anything anymore till the day I die?
Oh
you, well of my destiny
Make
all my desires come true
The
world coming to a stop
To
see what it is they live for
I
am so simple minded
So
stupid that spiders creeping on the wall don’t realize
How
worthless I have become
Still
I have this complex of superiority
Does
not make much sense
Oh,
well of my destiny
Help
me understand what my purpose in life is
I
have lost any kind of motivation
As
incomprehensible as these old expressions are
Perhaps
you do not mean anything after all
Wishing
well of my destiny
I
am empty
As
empty as you
I am Saint Karen from
(Co-written with Saint Karen)
I am Saint Karen from
The isolation is intense
That's why it is so refreshing to
think
Why is everyone so afraid of
confrontational honesty?
I even encounter it in the angst
subcultures
It seems like fake angst is accepted
because it is a packaging marketing gimmick
But real raw existential panic is
hard for people to digest
I certainly see it in the local
music scene
Sometimes it's easy for me to feel
insecure about myself
But then I just have to plow forward
and realize that I must keep agitating the sleepy masses
I like to think of myself as Joan of
Arc
Who knows maybe she was in touch
with her nothingness
I noticed I mention God a lot
God has always been an influence
Did he eventually ever fall in love?
Did he have a 9 to 5 job anywhere in
this world?
Then he would understand what I am
going through
Well I thought a lot about
spirituality
Got me nowhere, as expected
I guess I will never see the light
Condemned to walk this earth till
the end of time
Causing trouble in the mist of
Forever and ever
My vision
That is my destiny
Stuck in a Time
Oh God
I am back where I was
Where I have always been
What is it I have to learn here that I have not learnt before?
Are you not worried that I will get bored out of my mind?
That suddenly suicide will become very attractive to me?
Seeing the end of this life means everything to me
Nothing new on the horizon
Nothing new
I have tasted something else you know
I am getting somewhere, or so I thought
But I am not
I am still here
Stuck in this time loop forever
I can’t bear it anymore
I do not want that
I want my freedom
I want to live!
To explode on the universe
Have an impact beyond comprehension
I want to dictate!
I want to change the world!
I don’t want to be stuck here
I don’t want to get back to square one
Every damn minute of my existence
Where’s the way out?
What can I do to change my life?
I don’t care if you don’t think like I do
I don’t care if you don’t agree with what I am
I won’t be stuck in this time loop any longer
I will change everything for the better
No more authority
No more hierarchy
No more daily routine till death
No more anything you have ever known
I do not accept this way of life
I will break this loop
I will be free
If I were to dictate around here
God forbid
Things would work
If I were to control your destiny
God forbid
You would meet the biggest wall of all
If I were to decide to act
God forbid
The end of the world would be near
If I were to shoot you
God forbid
You would be dead
If I could control the elements
God forbid
I would be halfway across the galaxy by now
If I could devise the plans
God forbid
We would be a higher form of life right now
If I could invent life
God forbid
Life would mean something
If I could live
God forbid
I would live to the maximum
If I could cry
God forbid
I would cry
If I could just be aware for one long second
God forbid
I would see and understand everything there is to understand in
this meaningless existence
But there is no chance of that since
God forbid!
There is no point in anything
I am out of this world
I don’t exist here
What do you expect?
Richness and wonders?
La huitième merveille du monde?
La fin du monde?
I have been expecting it
Takes too long to happen
Nothing contents me
Nothing makes me happy
Distractions, well…
They don’t last
Happy world
Everything is nice and expected
I need more
I need much more
More than you could ever provide
I need to get out of here
Out of this universe
To understand everything
But I already do
I am out of here
I live somewhere else
I understand everything
There is nothing to understand
I am a program
That cannot see beyond the programming
And when I catch a glimpse
I see that there is no point in going any further
Being out of ones mind
Out of this world
And see what is out there
And it is the same
The same shit
At another level
Big deal
Is there a point to all this?
Perhaps if I die tonight I might find out
I had enough
Of these dreams
Of this unexpected breakthrough
Of these infinite possibilities
How I got myself in such a situation
That I have five days left to live
Before it is all over once again
Until I find the next idea
The next solution that will get me going for another five days
I can no longer live like that
I had enough
I refuse to continue
To hope for a better life
To hope for all my dreams to come true
I have made my decision
Gone!
Gone this life I dreamt of
Never have I been so close
I don’t care
That’s it
I had enough
One more drink is all that I need to finally connect the dots
I won’t dream anymore that someone will come and save me
This only happens in films and maybe not
I’m as good as dead
I cannot pay anymore for all my faults
I cannot live anymore for all my dreams
It is all beyond me now
I am as good as dead
I have finally reached rock bottom
I never thought I would reach it
I always hoped for something, anything
Now I know it was all useless
I am not expecting anything from God
I am not expecting anything from anyone
Because even a miracle would not save me now
Something has changed in me
I don’t want any savior anymore
I don’t want to be saved
I am beyond hope
I have known it for a while
I did not want to admit it
I have tried so hard!
To get out of my misery
And now I don’t want to
Fight anymore
Survive anymore
Hope anymore
This is my will
Delete me
Delete my life
Delete everything!
I do not want to have existed
I was never meant to be!
I am a mistake
Why was I ever born?
I did not want to!
I don’t want this life
I never wanted it!
Let me go!
Let me die!
Please, I’ll do anything!
Anything to have never existed!
I was not meant to be
I was not meant to exist
I need to correct this mistake
I need to be deleted
I need to die
Every night I dream of green fields
Wherever they are
That is what I need to fall asleep
I always get back to that
Green fields
Peace of mind, peace
From you, your existence, your babblings
I always need a break
Dream is my escape
There I don’t really exist
There are no consequences
No memories
I don’t know where I come from
I cannot remember anything superfluous
Nothing that can be linked
to a useless name
To a life of some sort
I am out of here!
Nothing will ever save me!
I’ve always known that
Sad I never did anything concrete about it
Except walk around endlessly
In what I thought was my little universe
It is way too small!
Look at the stars!
It is infinite!
What am I doing here then?
God knows…
I was not meant to be human
I was meant to be the Universe
I am supposed to create the world
In seven seconds
Every day
As many worlds as is necessary
To get lost everywhere every second of the day
One day I am here, the next I am there
I am all over the place!
I am everywhere!
As many places as I can think of
As many universes that I can create
An infinite amount of me in as many universes as there are
I do not know of any reality
I’ve never known of anyone’s existence
This is the beginning of a new destiny!
Splashed over the stars and galaxies
This is where I belong!
There are green fields everywhere
Even in the darkest spots in the universe
Where no one ever went and will ever go
Let’s face it, you do not need to exist
I see you every day walking everywhere for no reason
There are billions of you and you are not bothered by that
How useless you are in this mass of the same thing
Countless human beings with no brain
Not one of them wondering why they are here or alive
Should not deserve to be here or alive
There is place for only one soul in my green fields, mine
And mine alone
I don’t see billions of faces
That all look the same to me
With the same story to tell
Ahhh! Emotions, feelings, love,
conflicts, a desire to assert oneself
You’re all the same
You are but one person!
But not with me
I am the Marginal
I am out of your identical and meaningless identity
I am the one apart from the masses
I do not understand you
I do not want to be part of you
I do not walk like one in between you when I walk brainless around
you
I look at you all and I wonder
I am not part of this
I am not like them
I’m not sure why
I just know
I don’t belong here
Just because I understand that all this is meaningless
That I am only one in billions
I know I am not the same somehow
I know I am different
And I know you despise me for being different
I know you do not want me in your society
You know I don’t belong there
You hate it when someone is not like you
You hate it when someone stops to think some more about the world
You hate it when someone is different, you don’t want them there
They could question you, judge you
They could question why you exist
They could understand how small you are
You know
And I know too
You think there are billions of different personalities
You secretly know there is only one and the same personality
And you share that same identity with everyone on this planet
I am different, I am unique
And thank God for that!
Otherwise there would certainly be no point in living
With a useless job title to justify some sort of meaning to one’s
existence
I have my corner of the universe
I possess one little house somewhere
Let’s locate it by satellite
Here it is
That dot lost in between countless dots
That’s you!
Proud achievement!
Useless achievement
I live in my green fields
And they are nowhere to be found, for you that is
(Descent Into Hell)
How many times have I found myself here?
Hundreds of times
Did I see light on the horizon?
Never
But I’m never alone here
I see familiar faces
I meet famous people
Will we all be here?
My descent into hell is infernal
It burns me completely
It eats me away inside until there’s nothing left
That’s my destiny
A zombie in the caverns of this world
Seeing dimly at the summits of this life
We’ve all been going round in circles since the beginning of time
How could we have been happy?
With this guilt that eats us
This regret that burns us up
This remorse that kills us
It’s a descent into hell
Well, I’m not going to moulder away here
I’m not going to die here
I’m going to get my things together and go up to the surface again
For having suffered so much here on earth, I too am going to heaven
An endless desert
An endless road
The feeling that you’ll never see civilisation again
Running out of water or petrol, that’s all it needs
On this road which is badly in need of repair
And without a single tourist
This was the moment you chose to make your latest outburst
I panicked, went into the ditch
We hit each other with our fists
I went off into the mountains, or whatever you call those canyons,
with my face all bloody
I didn’t want you to find me
I didn’t want anyone to find me ever again
I walked for a long time and I never felt I was in any danger
Rage made me forget I had no way of getting back to
You had all my meagre possessions
It wasn’t the first time I’d left everything behind
Your bad temper had become my bad temper
Your problems had become my problems
Your moaning had become my moaning
Your hell had become my hell
And suddenly, lost there alone in the desert
I looked at the sky, the sun and the white moon you see in daytime
And I felt good
I felt happy
Your bad temper, your problems, your moaning, your hell
Were no longer mine
You had already gone on towards
I was about to die there alone in
And I felt wonderful
I had no more problems
No more moaning on the horizon, just some strange trees
In
I was in paradise!
Purity of mind
Innate clarity
The brain breathes
Oops! It’s fallen
Get up! It’s fallen
Aaargh!
What a lovely day
Such a nice breeze
Let’s walk in the park
Ah, the trees are in blossom!
I need that now
I’d like to doze off here
Sleep for hundreds and hundreds of years
Wake up again when the world has disappeared
I’m not thinking about anything any more
I’m creating a void
Filling myself with this view
It’s starting to rain
I’m on earth
I see the blue sky
And the birds
What lovely day?
I didn’t even dare get out of bed this morning
I took a good look at the prospect of living
And went back to sleep
We’re getting to the end of an era
To a world where all the laws will be different
Where frontiers won’t exist any more
The freedom necessary for the survival of the species
Wars don’t matter, nor religions, nor existing political systems
A huge revolution is coming
Nothing can stop it because it will happen automatically
Almost naturally
And everyone will welcome the results
Rejoicing in the consequences
Discovering a new universe
We’ll go where it seems good to us to go
Time will no longer limit us
At the dawn of civilisation
A new age will begin
I never wanted to be different
I always wanted to be part of the group
It was never amusing to be pointed out
To have to fight
And all the rest of it
I’ve always been seen as a danger
A danger to the conformism necessary to society
So am I a danger?
Am I such a threat that I must be eliminated?
I’ve never understood why we don’t have the right to go against the
rules
Don’t have the right to say that what we learned wasn’t true
Don’t have the right to think differently from the rest
But I’m not going to apologise
I am different
I think differently from the rest
They call me weird
They class me as dangerous
All right then, I’ll be weird
I’ll be dangerous
I’m going right to the bottom of your neurosis
I’m going to challenge everything
I’m going to challenge you
I’ll play out my true role as a marginal
I’ll rally all the marginals on the
planet
And become too strong for anyone to fight me again
I am different
And I’ll act accordingly
To hell with conformism
I want to cry
That’s what you’ve achieved
That’s the feeling I get when I look at your achievements
It’s not enough, it’ll never be enough for me
So what are you doing about it?
Don’t you want the world to be better?
A world where we can all be happy?
What’s stopping you?
What are your thoughts?
It’s not a matter of law
It’s not a matter of politics
It’s a love story
Love your neighbour, live and let live
Can’t you find it in your heart to want to save the species?
Open everything up, even your own guts?
What are you afraid of?
That a monster under your bed will come and bite your toes?
Forget your devilish religion
Forget your devilish laws
Forget overprotecting the brains of your wonderful children
Just for a moment forget about defending your little bit of
territory
Forget your flag!
We’re more than that
We’re in the process of disappearing
We’re going to disappear from the face of the earth
We must leave
Leave this world
Far, far, far away
Begin again elsewhere
Begin everything all over again elsewhere
Only, will we have the chance?
That’s me every day
In the street, at work, in my flat
Selling myself for no reason
But a crust of bread
Great plans for the future of humanity!
Revolutionary ideas to bring a whole country to its knees!
Ideas and ideas raining down from the sky!
Everything in my way crushed and wiped out
That’s me spat out
On the surface of this table
A reflection in the mirror
Oh, I’m handsome inside
Violence!
Killings!
The dead piling up!
Being sold for the ideas of others!
I’m selling myself for you
You’re selling yourselves to me
The results are horrifying
Thirty million dead sent to
I’m rich now
Prostitution pays well
You’re alienated now
It’s time to make everything add up
That’s me every day
In the street, at work, in my flat
Selling myself for no reason
But a crust of bread
I’m the prisoner of something too big for me
I try to rise to the surface but I only get lost
To die drowned by the waves closing over me
I suppose I was looking for it
I wanted to die among the masses
Pass by unnoticed in a world too big for me
To be insignificant in this swamp full of tadpoles
Was I aiming for something, really?
Did I really want to get out of this swamp and become God Almighty?
Have a life being heard and being listened to?
Having my turn at dictating what should be and will be?
Useless to deny it, I wanted to make something enormous
A monstrous centipede capable of yelling in every place at once
A monster with a thousand heads and a thousand voices
The voice of truth, a subjective truth which I could manipulate at
a whim
How could I have lost courage
How could I have lapsed into silence among the masses
How could I accept all that?
Impossible
I mingle with the whole so that I can be heard as a whole
To be stronger and more credible
How could I have lost the true north?
Easy, I never lost it
I could be stronger than I’ve been
I could be the tadpole that rises out of the swamp
Who’ll become a powerful frog who can reach the lake
And then I’ll be happy
I’ll be liberated
I’m going to be able to breathe at last
And if I’m mistaken?
If I have to accept my status of tadpole in this swamp?
Let’s be realistic, I’ve failed at everything
Everyone managed to get out of the swamp
But I’m here for all eternity
And I can’t accept it
I still have dreams of glory
How to get out and become larger than everyone else
But I could be mistaken
I could die here without ever having been heard
Without having made a difference
Please help me to accept this failure
But I could be born again from my ashes
I’m not dead yet
We must keep hoping for a better world
We must stay motivated
We must be hopeful
We must get out of the swamp and make ourselves heard
I have to succeed
There’s no choice
It’s bigger than I am
We must challenge everything, we must challenge the universe
We must question everything, question our conditions,
our position in the universe
It’s stronger than I am
It must change!
For what it is worth
To hope for so much
Can only be deceived the day it becomes reality
You are guilty for making the world what it is
To be powerless in changing it
To not even try
How I wish I never had any dream
Never succeeded in making them come true
What is there left for me now?
No more dream worth pursuing
No hope that one day everything will fall into place
That I'll be free to do as I wish
You are guilty for making the world what it is
To be powerless in changing it
To not even try
If I were to go back in time and decide to pursue my dreams
I would not do anything
Better continue to hope in a better world than be disappointed
You are guilty for making the world what it is
To be powerless in changing it
To not even try
Go ahead with your dreaming, for what it is worth
Hope in a better world is all there is left
You are guilty for making the world what it is
To be powerless in changing it
To not even try
Love is a prison
Love is the biggest obstacle to conquered
Love is everything between you and success
Love is not worth it
Love is no reason to stop you living
Love is no reason to stop you from having friends
Love is no reason to stop you from smoking and drinking
Love is no reason to stop you from living the way you should
Love is a prison
Love is the biggest obstacle to conquered
Love is everything between you and success
Love is not worth it
How much more whinging must one suffer?
Complaints going on and on and on?
Bitching and blaming and accusations…
It’s a living hell!
Love is a prison
Love is the biggest obstacle to conquered
Love is everything between you and success
Love is not worth it
Love, is not really love
It stops life
No way
Just get rid of it
Oh, how I wish I could!
I wanted to be at the top of the world
I wanted to be a billionaire
I had dreams of controlling the planet
I thought I would wipe out everyone on my way to success
I am at the bottom of the world
I have more debts than
I am not even controlling my five cats
People wipe me out on their way to success
I was going to be the best Prime Minister there ever was
I wanted to be a business man with a conscience
I was going to help people get out of their misery
I was different and I was going to make a difference
Politics make me sick
Capitalism is killing me
I am the most miserable sod there is
I'm different all right, but nowhere near making any difference
I wanted to be a rock star
I saw myself as the best author ever
I would have made movies worthy of the Oscars
I was on my way to revolutionise everything
I can't even play a note
I can't write anything worthy of any attention
I held an Oscar once, and that's about it for that
My revolution has yet to come
I'm hopeless at everything
I'm worthless at even living a normal life
I have failed in all my jobs
I'm useless
Why, oh why!
Why am I so miserable?
Why am I so depressed all the time?
Why can't I have fun like everyone else?
Why is happiness just an impossible goal?
What an injustice that I was born like that
Worrying about just everything
Incapable of appreciating one single thing
Sinking lower every day
No way out
Why, oh why?
Why can't I see beauty?
Why can't I appreciate the simple things of life?
Why is it that I was expecting so much?
Why is it that it is never good enough?
Such high expectations
Standards so high that they could never be reached
It has all gone wrong
A living hell I've made of my existence
No way out
Why, oh why?
Why was I born like this?
Filled with an emptiness larger than an ocean
Dreaming of the infinities while watching the night sky
Hoping I was anywhere else in the universe but here
It's not fair!
To be born different
Unable to live a normal life
Unable to accept reality for what it is
No way out
Why, oh why?
I remember when I was a little boy
I was filled with wonder
I looked at the night sky
I asked questions
I could not understand this universe
When I grew up
I stopped wondering
I looked at the night sky
I am asking no more questions
I still can't understand this universe
When I was a little boy
I watched silently the world around me
I watched TV
I asked questions
I could not understand this world
When I grew up
I stopped watching the world around me
I watched even more TV
I can't even think of a question to ask
I still can't understand the world around me
When I was a little boy
I did not know what to do with my time
I was as empty as the universe
I was waiting for something to happen
Nothing ever happened
When I grew up
I did not have the time to do anything
I was filled with all this surrounding me
I am waiting for some peace of mind
Too many things happen at once
When I was a little boy
I was innocent
I was ignorant
I was nothing
I was indifferent
When I grew up
I was no longer innocent
No longer ignorant
No longer nothing
But gosh I wish I was indifferent
No more lies, ever
Can be plastic for a while
If it serves my purpose
But ultimately, there is only one truth
There is only one destiny
I am following it
It does not involve anyone else
And these people
Does not matter
They are all so insignificant
This is not what I want
This is not my life
Shining, being successful, making millions
These things are not important to me
This is not me
I have created a whole new universe
I am living in there
Whenever I can, that is
However, this is all there is
Nothing else
Life, success
I’m flirting with them, no doubt
When I can get inspired from it
I should not forget that they mean nothing
They should not take me over
I should not stress over them
I am my only master
Only my freedom counts in the end
Only my happiness means something
And I won’t find that anywhere
It is a state of mind
To not depend on anything, or any place, or anyone
To get there
And I will get there
If I can recognise this, right here and right now
If I can stop and think
I may lose my way here and there
Forget who I am and what I can do
As long as I can remember my nature
As long as I can disconnect from all of this
And remember what it is that I am and doing
Then there is hope
I won’t play their game
I won’t be part of it
Nothing and no one is important enough
I don’t belong to them
I don’t belong here
There is another world out there
The dream world
The virtual world
My own creation
At the end of the day
This is all there is
And nothing else
If nothing else
I will remain true to myself
Not too many things
Not too many people
Not too many can inspire
Energise you
Break the mould
Break out of this reality
Break out!
Why waste time
Why waste a life
Why waste everything
For what is not worth it?
Who cares?
Who gives a damn?
No one
Unless they forgot what was important
And God, there are so many of them
With no life anymore
You wish you could take them in your hands
Shake them
Until they wake up
But they won’t, they could not
They are too far gone
Not important
You is important
I am important
I need to free myself
That is all that matters
I need to get inspired!
I need to revolutionise everything!
Even if it was all and only for myself
In my own little puny mind
I need to feel strong
I need to feel I am over everything else
I need to feel free!
To do whatever I want, whenever I want
That I could still be successful
That I could still be appreciated
That I could still be desired
That I could still be right there in the middle of it all
Are you blind?
Are you completely out of your mind?
Are you that desperate?
Or am I still worth something despite my convictions that I am not?
I am ugly
I am old
I am worthless
I don’t give a toss about anything
I am the last person you would like to hire
And yet, I’m still there playing your mind games
And suffering from it
There is nothing else I need to do here
There is nothing else I need to say here
There is nothing else I can do that will make any difference
whatsoever
There is nothing I can say that is worthwhile
I can’t get inspired anymore
You have killed any sort of original idea I could have
Nothing is worth it anymore
Not that it ever was
I won’t reinvent the wheel, I know that now
I have accepted it
Get inspired while you can
While you feel you can still be inspired
I certainly can’t
I don’t remember a time when I was
You have made a miserable human being out of me
I’m not proud
Of being a human being now
I don’t think I ever was anyway
But now I have a damn good reason
While all my fellow citizens are losing their mind
I’m not proud!
I’m not proud of any of you
You have given up
You have given everything you had
You are asking for less
Standards have gone out the window
You deserve what is coming
And you let it happen
I’m not proud
Of the human race
Of what we have achieved
Of where we are going
Nowhere
Who could be proud?
No one
I’m not proud
I’m not proud of you
You cannot see beyond the next hill
You cannot see what is coming
You are doom
And yet you don’t care
I’m not proud
Of being who I am
Because I cannot make a difference
I cannot tell you
I cannot change anything
I witness it
And that’s it
That is why I can only say
We deserve what we have
I’m not proud of what we have become
And neither should you
Unfortunately
I have the time to see it happen
I have the time to think about what is to come
I don’t like it
I wish it was there right now
Before I had the time to doubt myself
To doubt the universe
And its mechanisms
Oh, how I am wasting time!
Oh, will it still be there for me?
Will I be able to accomplish anything once I’m there?
Do I need proof that I am following my destiny?
Can I leave all doubts out the door?
Oh, I wish I could
Oh, I’m not so sure it will all happen
Am I still in control?
Am I building up this huge work of art?
Or am I just as lost as I always thought I was?
Am I just a useless piece of crap?
Living within other lost ones
With no ambition whatsoever
Who can only complain
And complain
And complain
Until there is nothing left
That resembles life?
I am so tired to hear this planet whinge
That I’m considering wild solutions
To stop this whinging
I’m gonna turn myself into a weapon of mass destruction
I’ve been pretty successful so far
As I am myself a first class whinger
However I can’t stand it anymore
On the verge of such a radical change
There is no more time to whinge
Only time to think
Only time to plan
Only time to dream
I have no more time
For the problems of the humanity
I am in between days
Before the misery ends
Before the dream starts
And I won’t let anything stop me
Even for a second
Get lost!
Yes! All of you
Get out of my way!
I am on the path to my destiny
The past no longer exists
You no longer exist
Only I count for something now
Only I exist
I have to figure out
Everything
I have to figure out
What it is that I’m supposed to do now
Where it is that I am really going
What I am really going to achieve
I have work to do
And I will do it
Even if it kills me
Even if it kills you
Oh, how I wish I was no longer
Oh, I wish I was no longer
In between days
I don’t want to fall in love again!
I am guilty!
I have betrayed everything that I loved!
I secretly wanted it so badly
And now that it has happened
I can’t stand it!
It is tearing me apart!
I don’t want to fall in love again!
God please help me
Make sense of it all
What is it that I fell in love with?
Is it just an idea, a concept?
Is it more profound than that?
This history of places, of people, of
deaths?
Somewhere in
Having
Losing myself in the dunes, the sun, the
infinite…
Is this what I fell in love with? Tell me
Is there a cure?
Was I allowed to see too much?
Was it too soon?
Was I ready to fall in love again?
I don’t think so
Now it has happened
I have to deal with it
I have to
Somehow
I was already in love with the greatest
cutest little thing
It was called
It was my playing field
And believe me I played hard there
I am crying again, and again, and again
Everything there is to cry
The most beautiful thing ever
So sweet and so much in love with me
How could I ever trade you for anything
else?
I could never
I would prefer to die
The floodgate is opened
The tornadoes are raging
The earthquakes are comin’
I am at the dawn of a new life
I can see it emerging in front of my eyes
It is huge
It is powerful
It is far reaching
It is all I have ever hoped for
The price to pay might just be too much
It is too late now
I’m already in love
Again
Permanent Summer with Palm Trees and
Canyons
What is there not to love in the
It is always sunny
From whatever direction you look at
Sure enough you will see
Palm Trees
Mountains
Clean sidewalks
Little white houses
Purity to infinity
Innocence of a world
That has nothing to do with
My universe is of a bright white
Immaculate
Puts all your thoughts in order
Of a tranquility not found in
Suburbs of
With canyons in every directions
Huge rock face with weird flowers and cacti
After it is
Miles of sand with blue water
The Californian coast a few miles away
The heat of the sun keeps my balcony floor
warm at night
And when it rains, it is a nice little rain
My simple little life
Without any worry whatsoever
It could easily be
If I would let it be
I can tell the time by where the sun or the
moon is in the sky
Right over my head, it is noon or midnight
The shadow of the trees can also tell me
Where I am
What I am thinking
Inspiration for a lifetime
The kind of surge I get only years later
Once I have lost it all
I could never come back
It would never be the same anyway
These magical moments only exist at that
very second
After that it is gone forever
And you have to go for the adventure
To find new inspirations
If ever you can find such moments again
I am about to lose it all
I can feel it
Got to cherish those moments while they
last
They won’t last much longer
It could never be the same
It’s great when you don’t have to wait
Until you have lost it
To understand
That peaceful existence
Of a perfect moment in time
Whatever it is you couldn’t stand about
me
Is it the packaging?
I know, pretty cheap, got no money
But you are rich I hear?
The sell by date?
I’ve long passed my sell by date
But never mind
You are rotten to the core
My frontal bar code?
Well, I’m sure it would not work with your
mind reader
Is it my third eye?
My big mouth?
My bad teeth?
Do I have bad breath?
Oh, must be my brain
I was born deformed, I know
Compared to your perfection, that is
Is it my personality?
When I did not laugh at your boring jokes?
They put me to sleep, dear
Sorry
Is it because I’m always drunk?
Well, feel yourself lucky
To do what you ask of me
I would need to be drugged to full capacity
at all time
What is it?
Tell me! Tell me!
My lack of enthusiasm when you wanted to
enslave me?
I was sick that day
You make me sick, dear
Just for being you
Maybe this is what you could not stand
about me
That I could not stand you in the first
place
My
I am disconnected
I don’t live here anymore
I live somewhere else
A perfect world
An island
A perfect one
How can I describe it?
A palace
Heights
Flying machines
A Sun
A Moon
Symbols
Problems
Which are not mine
Only beauty for me to see
To enjoy
To live through
Seeing trees
Landscapes
Other islands
The rain through the forest
An imagined history
Pure creation
Beyond any dreams
I feel it so deeply
I live there all the time
I cannot leave this place
I love this place
Such perfection
That I could never reach
In the real world
My virtual world
It has become so important
So central to my life
To my survival
How can it be?
It is virtual
It is just a dream
And yet it is so powerful
I don’t live here anymore
I guess I never did
I was always more there
Than I have ever been here
I am so confused
Did I ever exist?
Has this reality ever existed?
I’m not sure
I think I imagined it all
The real world is that island
Which I always come back to
I don’t know where I would be right now
If I never went there
I would not be where I am now
I’m sure of it
I’m so lost
I’m not sure if I really exist
I feel I can almost understand
That this is not real
My life
It cannot be
I am now on my island
In real life
It makes no sense to me
I am even rejecting it
It seems
It is only good in my dreams
Only acceptable as long as it is
unreachable
It makes no sense
Tonight I’m not here
I’m out there
I’m on my island
I feel so good
I feel warm
I feel beauty passing through myself
I am that universe
It is all me
I am one with my world
With the world
And for once
It makes sense to me
I don’t exist here
I only exist there
That’s where I have always been
More there than here
It has become my reality
The only place I can really exist
Where I can feel good about being alive
At least I have that
Not sure if anyone else has that chance
I don’t care
I realized tonight
That I have always been living
In another world
And I am pleased that I finally accepted it
Reality is something of the past
Something that never really existed
For me
There is only one place to evolve in
To contemplate
To enjoy life
My island
For the first time in my life
I am convinced that my life is not real
I can feel it
It is a joke
And I’m wondering
Why it made me suffer so much
When really it was never there in the first
place
You would think that after suffering so
much
I decided to create myself a dream world
Freud would destroy my argument in a second
But I think he missed the point
I have reached another understanding
One that he could never reach
I understand that the world is not real
It is an invention
A creation of some sort
A testing ground perhaps
But no more than that
It is no more real than my dreams
My dreams are more real now
I stand somewhere over all of this
No matter all the problems it sent my way
I just cannot believe it
I don’t buy it
It is all fake
Life is much simpler
Life is simple
And it is not what it seems
It is something else
I can see it so clearly now
Every tree, every bush
Have been placed there
For some reason
But it is a desert
It should be a desert
It should be emptiness
It is emptiness
It does not belong there
Nothing belongs anywhere
It was placed there for us
To act like if it was a real world
It is obvious to me
That it never was
And only here can I see it so clearly
It is all an illusion!
An elaborate scam!
The world does not exist!
Why do you still suffer?
There is no reason to
It was created for you to pretend
To be alive and kicking
When really
You cannot be
Nothing belongs here
You do not belong here
I don’t belong here
It is all someone else’s creation
And I refuse to be part of it
It is not mine
I have nothing to do with that obvious fake
creation
This virtual world
I want to live in the real world
The world I have not been told about
Which oversees all of this so-called
reality
I am now aware
I can feel it
I will reach the real world
I will
What you qualify as my twisted mind
Is only a reflection of what you taught me
It is only the true and only consequence
Of what you truly tried to brainwash me
about
It was leading there
I don’t understand why you feel this is not
true
What did you expect?
Was it not what you wanted me to do?
To truly really do?
Is competition not the extermination of any
threat to my being?
Is succeeding not preventing others from
taking my place?
Is becoming rich and powerful
Not mean everyone else being a slave to my
own desires?
If I am to control everything
Surely it means that no one else should
have any freedom
If I am to lead the life I am expecting to
lead
Then no one else can live in this world
What you qualify now as my twisted mind
Is your own twisted mind you did not
realize you had
You were just too blind to see it
It is too late now
I will make all your dreams come true
And I will not get the blame
You will get just what you deserve
I assure you
What you taught me
It was leading there
To the extinction of humanity
Hail to the bugs, the true leaders of
this world
By bugs
You probably thought I was referring to our
politicians
But I was in fact talking about the true
leaders of this world
Something much more powerful than any of us
Real bugs
We are at war
And we are losing it
It’s time we acknowledge our defeat
And consider them as our true leaders
Bugs have taken over the world
They inhabit us
We are still unable to kill them
They spread from one host to the other
We have become their home
It kills us
And then they move on to someone else
Until none of us will remain
To even support their existence
They don’t seem to mind
Not hard to understand
We have been following the same pattern
Multiplying until the Earth can no longer
sustain any of us
But that was not the real worry
We will all be dead by the time the earth
becomes unlivable
The bugs are winning the war
And we have not even declared that we were
at war
Because we feel they are not really
threatening
Until they actually reach either us
directly
Or someone we personally love
Won’t be too long now
Soon we will all be infected
They’re winning the war
They mutate much faster than we could hope
to mutate ourselves
And they don’t even need to practice DNA
re-sequencing
They move at a much higher time rate than
us
They’ve gone through millions of
generations
Of permutations
Of mutations
While we were still debating what should be
legal or illegal
Hail to the bugs
The next and only humanity
Perhaps they will find a way not to kill
each other
And finally get out of the solar system
Something it seems we were never going to
achieve anyway
What a pity
There is no greatness to speak of here
About humanity
After all
Perhaps we were not really worth it
It took so long anyway to understand
anything
We only produced two geniuses
And it took us hundreds of years
To finally understand
That they were completely wrong
Ultimately we produced no geniuses at all
It was all an illusion
The history of humanity is a sad one indeed
Plagued with stupidity
While we were praising our intelligence and
greatness
Perhaps the bugs
In their own time frame
Will go further than we could ever achieve
The bugs, our only true legacy
May they be the ones finally getting out of
the solar system
To continue humanity’s legacy to the stars
The only species with any real future
The only species capable of surviving any
Life Extinction Event
Hail to the bugs!
The true leaders of this world!
What am I complaining about?
Don’t I remember that kid?
Living desperately alone when he was 18?
In a black hole in the North Pole?
I had dreams to see the world
To live everywhere
It started with
Then
Then
Then
Then
Then
Then
I’ve seen the world
I lived everywhere of any consequence
I’ve achieved those dreams
Why was it not enough?
What more could I want?
I did not find happiness
I did not even find peace
I found no answer to all my questions
I guess I was not going to find them in
Under a palm tree
Or under a rock in the desert
I should have jumped into hard drugs with
my two hands
Perhaps I would then have found some
answers
Some happiness
I only found alcohol
I think it did not help much
I might as well have remained in the North
Pole
Perhaps I would have found happiness there
after all
Under a rock under the snow
After digging for a few miles
Nothing exists from before I reached
And now that I am no longer in
It seems that my life has ended
I am lost somewhere outside the fabric of
space
Need to find a way back to my life
Need to find a wormhole leading back to
Surely there is one between
Or else
Bring me a Big Bang
If everything explodes
I might be able to rebuild or create
something bearable
With all the pieces of my reality
Lost everywhere in the world
The universe is obviously too small for me
Happiness must lie outside of it
Great
Now I have dreams of getting out of the
universe
I’ll find a way
To tell you if I have found happiness
Once I get there
Cos believe you me
I will get there!
And I better find happiness
Beyond that
Get ready, we’re leaving!
I don’t know where
Don’t ask
We’re just leaving
There are some new horizons to explore
I’ve been told there was something there
To make it all worthwhile
Of course I don’t believe it
I don’t care
I need to get out of here!
I need to believe there is something
Beyond these Californian mountains
I see them every day on my way to work
And yet I am stuck in the Valley
Every day on my way to work
I cannot reach those mountains
I’m not even sure if they’re real
Who cares?
Get ready!
We’re leaving
I don’t know
Who cares?
I need to get out of here
I cannot be stuck like this
Anywhere!
I cannot just stop living
Anywhere
I need to feel alive!
I need to get going
I need to listen
To my sense of adventure
My need of exploration
What’s behind that mountain?
I don’t know
I don’t care
I need to go there
I need to find out
Don’t you understand?
I need to get out of here!
Get ready!
I don’t know where I am anymore
I’ve been everywhere
Time is no longer linear in my case
I am everywhere and nowhere at the same
time
I don’t know what it is that I am supposed
to do
I just know that I don’t want to do it
Where am I?
I don’t know where I am
I just know that I don’t want to be
anywhere
Anywhere has never made me happy
Whatever I ever did
Never made me happy
So
How could I care where I am
What I am doing?
And especially
What I should be doing next
And where?
Where am I?
What is it that I’m supposed to do here?
Should it not be where I actually want to
be?
Doing what I actually want to do?
It is not the case
So I could not care less
That is why I have the strangest ideas
The weirdest desires
Of changing everything
Nothing ever could make me happy
Nowhere in this world could I ever be happy
You could not make me happy
I don’t need you
I don’t need everything that you want me to
do
I don’t need that shite
Just get out and disappear!
So I can get lost too
And never
Ever
Have
To give it
A second thought
Where am I?
Lost, that’s for sure
What am I doing?
Nothing, that’s for sure
Where should I be?
Nowhere
What should I be doing?
Nothing
Then
Perhaps
I might
Find
Happiness
I thought I succeeded
In killing all of you
In my own thoughts
My own dreams
And then
To my astonishment
You all came back from the dead
What is it now?
What do you want from me?
Don’t you understand
That you’re supposed to be dead?
Not existing
Being nothing?
I succeeded
In forgetting you
Accepting your death
Why do you come back now?
What are all those questions?
I don’t need to answer any of them
I’m in deep shit, as usual
I know you could help me tremendously
I know you don’t want to
I know you won’t
I know I would not accept it anyway
So why come back from the dead?
Especially now?
When I am so down at the bottom?
Do you enjoy seeing me down there?
Does it make you feel better
How low I am
And how normal you are?
Well, I never cared for normality
I prefer to be sinking really
Yes I do!
Don’t question me
I don’t know why
I don’t want to know
I am marginal
I am not like you
I don’t want to be like you
Let me sink!
I don’t care for zombies
Contacting me once in a while
To find out if I am finally getting
somewhere
I am not
And I won’t be
For many more decades
Are you happy now?
Are you ready to go back
To the world of the dead?
Tomorrow will be such a great day all
over
I’ve got to be on lots of amphetamines
To even entertain the idea
That tomorrow
In
Will be a great day
All this town has been able
To bring me
Is a death wish
And yet
I am here tonight
Suddenly believing in miracles
That days are not passing by
Just to bring the worst in humanity
Every single day has been
Worse and worse
Even when you could not think
It could get any worse
Life always finds a way
To make it worse the next day
It is excruciating
Wondering what I’m doing here
That’s it
I can feel life leaving me forever
I
might just die here
Unless I do something
Unless I get out of here before it happens
Is it not too late?
Just when you think
That you are due for a great day
Any kind of good news
That suddenly will change your life
Forever
You discover
That this town has played a trick on you
It is exasperating
You want to die
It is always worse the next day!
Surely
At some point
I’ll wake up in
And feel great?
At least once?
Oh God…
It just won’t happen
What a disaster
I know you’re a girl
And I’m a boy
And that by some sort
Of law of nature
We’re incompatible
I feel deeply for you
We’re in the same boat
A sinking boat
You’re left there alone
Looking at all this
Experiencing it for the first time
Totally desperate
Not knowing what to do
What’s coming next
I feel so bad for you
I feel so sorry for you
I’ve been through it dozens of times
It is second nature to me
That hell you’re just discovering
I would love to squeeze you in my arms
tonight
Make you discover what it is
That you are actually missing
Everywhere I have been
Everything I have seen
Connected for eternity
To something larger than you have ever
experienced
Forget what it is that they are doing to
you
Come with me
We’ll go and explore this world
We’ll forget for a while
We’ll be happy for a while
You’re so sweet
For you I’ll make an exception
I will stop
I will take you under my wings
Until you can fly away
Far away from here
Understand that there is something else
Beyond the horizon
I’ve seen it
And yet
It is more of the same
Only together could we ever built ourselves
A fortress in which
None of them will ever have access
Come with me
I’ll make you discover
This world
Before they turn you into a monster
Sweet Chinese Girl
Why do I always doubt myself?
I always succeed anyway in the end
I feel so powerful right now
I could take a whole army by myself
Get out of my way!
Nothing
No one
Will ever stop my
in the pursuit of my destiny
I will accomplish every single thing I want
I will succeed at everything I put my mind
to
And all of you
Trying to stop me
Will be wiped out of my path
I’m indestructible!
Whatever I want to achieve
I achieve it
Whatever obstacles you can see
I am blind to it
Nothing will stop me
No one will stop me
There is always a solution
The important thing
Is to not stop before it even begins
I need to go for it
Aware of the impossibility of it
Somehow
I always find a way
To make it come true
Money is the least of my worry
I never had any
And yet
It never stopped me
So believe me
When I’m telling you
That I am going to build this empire
I will!
I’m following my great destiny
I’m unstoppable!
Real power in this world
Is nothing
It does not give me any buzz
I don’t care
For deciding the destiny of millions
Their fate
Their faith
It is insignificant
The real power is in the head
It is psychological
When you really feel powerful
Ready to create a new universe
Motivated like never
This is significant
This is real power
Creating something huge
When you’re off your mind
Alone
For that I might skip ending my life
For that power I sense in me
That never ending potential
To change everything
Without any real power in the physical
world
It is worth living for
Power is nothing
No good ever came of it
But being powerful in your own mind
Can change the world
On a massive scale
I cannot be trusted, I will fail every
time
You would think I was
The trustable type
Yeah!
Leave it to me!
I’ll take care of everything
Why not?
What are you worried about?
I’ve got a brain
So at least I thought
I’ll deal with it
Get out! Get out…
I can be trusted
I’ll take care of everything
Oh dear
I guess I was wrong
I cannot be trusted
You should never have left
You should never have
Trusted everything to me
I’ve destroyed everything
Just as I thought
Just as expected
It was so easy to reach that point
You would never believe
I cannot be trusted
I destroyed it all
Faster than thinking
About the fact that I had to be doubly
careful about it
I failed
Miserably
Now you’re free to think
Whatever you want about me
I’ll fail you every time
I’m just
Not perfect
I could never be
I never wanted to be
I destroyed everything
And it was to be expected
I knew it
You should have seen it as well
I am not like the others
I am not perfect
I will never be
I’ve always known it
They have told you already
That I was not it
And yet
You did not believe them
You thought I had some sort of potential
How ridiculous
Well
Now you know
There was no hope for me
It took me less than a week
To destroy it all
Now
The only gracious thing to do
Is to announce
My resignation
Something I wanted to ask
For a long time now
One more argument
To justify it
To justify my utter failure
Thank you!
Thank you
For whatever
I’m not sure why
What
Who cares?
I’m gone
How can it be otherwise?
This world is trying its hardest
To screw us up completely
Until
No humanity can remain
I am!
Completely screwed up
Years of therapy will be necessary
To make sense of anything
I have ever said
I’m out of my mind
I do not know what I am doing
I am like a machine
Accomplishing the same tasks
Over and over and over
Again and again and again
I do not know where I am!
I don’t understand
What it is that I do!
I’m so lost…
I need saving
As I have lost everything
I do not possess anything anymore
I never possessed anything
I barely acknowledge
That I might
Have existed
Somewhere, for a while
And then somewhere else
For a while
I have the weirdest accent
From all those countries I am from
I can be from anywhere
Nobody knows
Nobody needs to know
That I am from nowhere
Completely screwed up
That’s what I am
Don’t try to make sense of anything
It does not make sense
Or else, I’d be happy
Happy go lucky
Lucky as hell
Maybe I am
Who knows
I’m confused
I’m screwed up
Your greatest achievement
For sure
I’ve seen it!
I’ve seen it all!
I’m from everywhere!
I have witnessed everything
There is on this Earth
You will not teach me tricks
I know them all
I thought I was screwed up
I understand now
That you are
Screwed up
Completely screwed up
And I am just plain normal
(I died that night…)
I died that night…
On the longest road ever
Going all the way to the North
Where there are no more cities
No more people
I’m listening to the most
Provocative music ever
Meaningful music
Going at an astonishing
On ice
While the snow is raging
God
This is happiness
This is the ultimate moment
Running along so fast
Trees passing by
Snow not slowing anyone
Just pure craziness
Seeing ghosts
Making weird decisions
Putting one’s life
Back into question
Right there
I made the most spectacular accident
I died for sure
Many times over
In all these parallel universes
I felt it deep
I am the only one left alive
Living to tell the tale
Of how crazy I was that night
Being alive for a change
Listening to the darkest music there is
I was already gone
I was already dead
I was asking for it
I was desperate
On this lone road going up North
Forever
Might as well have been
The only road to the North Pole
I was so alive!
I was alone
And I died
Many times over
I felt it
We all died that night
Now I am the only survivor
I should have just died
Like all the others
I feel
So
Alone!
I’m telling you
I know
I died that night…
Where have you been?
Don’t tell me
It does not matter
You could not have gone
Anywhere of any significance
It’s nothing
Compared with where I am
I’m out of this world
I’ve always been
My brain does not register
So many nights
Of being out of my mind
Does not matter
I tell you
It’s nothing
Don’t worry
I don’t care
You can’t understand
I’m out of here!
Tonight I am alive!
It is all in my mind
Full of deception
My own imagination
I can be so powerful you know
You do not matter
You never did
I’m out of it
I live in a different universe
Sometimes I’m dead
Sometimes I just don’t realize I’m alive
But
Tonight, I am alive
I am filled with all the power there is
I am electrified!
I have been living much more
In my mind than
In this reality
I discovered that a long time ago
I knew
I have always known that I was different
I am just incompatible with life
I never found myself
Anywhere
I never liked to be with people
I have always loved
To be alone
Then, and only then
Can I be myself
And so powerful
More alive than anyone has ever been
You will never know
What it means
To be alive
For a change
It’s all in the mind
When you’re far gone
And have always been
Tonight, I am alive!
Written everywhere
In every book
Here is the lone line
Most wanted
Forever and ever
I shall be free!
And yet
No one is
We have not been saved
We have not been liberated
From religion
From politics
From social hierarchy
We are not free!
And shall never be!
You can die here tonight
You can eat your words
Your commands
Your powers
Because
I shall be free!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
Shut up!
This just won’t do
You do not understand
Get out of my way!
Listen!
I shall be free!
I’ll make it happen
I’ll obliterate you
From space if necessary
I’ll find a way
To make you disappear forever
I shall be free!
You’ll never understand
You do not know the meaning
You are lost
Brainwashed
I am not
I shall be free!
Who are you?
To decide for me?
To tell me what to do?
To stop me in my tracks
To condemn me
To a life of misery?
If no one is capable
Of telling you
How insignificant you are
I’ll prove it to you
I’ll erase you from history
I shall be free!
This is beyond anything anyone has ever
known
This is greater than the universe
It is the ultimate pursuit of existence
Beyond anything there ever was
Beyond
There is no other way
No one can stop it
Mark my word
Forever and ever
I shall be free!
That’s my life!
This is my purpose
This is what defines me
I’m still capable
Of disconnecting myself
Completely
From this world
There is still hope for me
As long as I can
Move away
Place myself outside of it
Comprehend
The pettiness of this world
And understand
That I am not part of it
That I live way beyond it
There is still hope for me
I can replace myself
In the right context
Where I am
On my course towards
My real destiny
And see everything else
As meaningless
Not really existing
Cannot be affected by anything
Really
I’m just an observer
Reporting
This is my duty
And yet I’m just a spy
I do not suffer
I learn and I report
That’s my real job
And then I am removed from it all
I move on
I go and learn somewhere else
And report something else
I do not suffer
I don’t have the time for that
I am disconnected
I am never really there
Never there for long anyway
Just the time to take the pulse
Of the nation
And I’m gone
That’s just perfect for me
Never less than six months
Never more than a year
Just enough to never suffer
Just enough to feel
Disconnected from it all
Just enough for it all
To feel like it is a game
That I play for a while
Before disappearing forever
Towards new horizons
What a life!
Of suffering
But never for too long
I’m beyond that
As long as I understand this
As long as I can integrate that
There is still hope for me
I have lived! And now I can die…
Have you lived?
Have you got out of where you were born?
Have seen the world as I saw it?
Have you lived everywhere
Your heart was telling you to go?
Have you broke free
From just about everything
Ready to stop you to achieve your dreams?
No
Then you do not deserve to die
You have not seen the world
You know nothing about what’s out there
Get up!
Get out!
Explore the world
Listen to your sense of adventure
Forget everyone standing up in your way
Push them away!
You will see that world for yourself
You will live there for years
It will mean everything to you
You will achieve your dreams!
No one can stand in your way
The world won’t listen
Why should you?
Change country
Find out for yourself
That it is the just the same
But until you find out for yourself
You just don’t know
You cannot just die yet
You have not seen anything
You have not lived
How sad would it be
To die
Without having at least lost your
illusions?
Your dreams!
Find out first that there’s no hope
To ever make you happy in this world
Before abandoning it
Who knows
You might get lucky
You might actually find what you’re looking
for
I thought I did
In
Now I know I was wrong
I have lived!
Now I can die…
I’m an
explosion of places
A
multitude of times
There
are several versions of me
I follow
this path or that while believing I’m following my destiny
But it
makes me suffer so much
To know
I’m following a beaten track and living too intensely
I try to
accept, to experience, everything
Although
I could easily spare myself
I’m an
explosion of places
A
multitude of times
I chase
all sorts of possibilities
I follow
this path or that, I’m my own destiny
It makes
me suffer so much
But I’m
learning to get acquainted with life
Acquainted
with the lives of others
They’re
just like mine
I’m an
explosion of places
A
multitude of times
But I
still feel I’m nothing
Grubby
and ugly, empty and worthless
How can
such a heap of meat follow a destiny?
Must we pay for our mistakes?
Can we be forgiven a life of misery?
Where do I go for a refund?
I want to take back this life
which I don’t remember asking for
I’ve lost it in trying as best I could
to make it liveable
Nothing works, I promise you
Always and everywhere unlucky
I pay all the time for the least of my actions
Will you forgive me the hell I’ve made of my life?
Will you understand it’s better
than the hell you’ve prepared for me?
I was born sick, seriously so
I’m in no way responsible for my destiny
Couldn’t sit happily in my own skin
Nothing could have kept me alive
if I’d had to work a nine to five day
Hear my will, while there’s still time
I leave you the guilt of my existence
I’m non-returnable, even if it’s against the law
Can’t be recycled, the machine wouldn’t know what to do with me
All I’m fit for is burial in some remote spot
Where I’ll be forgotten far from any organized society
I only knew how to lose myself every which way in its dregs
I thought I could reach the heights by going in by the back door
But I despised those heights too much
I’m worthless, I’m nothing
I reject as a matter of course whatever could make me valuable
Whatever could make something of me
My mind can’t accept any sort of label
I do talk, but no one ever listens to me
No one has ever listened to me
Because no one ever listens to anyone
All they’ve done is to watch me, interpret me from afar
My life is only just beginning but already I’ve drawn up a balance
sheet
Have I lived too much in so short a time?
And what use is living too much, I’ve had nothing out of it
Sometimes someone takes me,
appreciates me for a fraction of a second
Then they’ve had enough, spit me out again
Life isn’t worth the effort of living
Come on, come in and share my hell
I’m at home here in the warm
It’s comforting when it’s cold outside and in
Sorry there’s nothing left to eat, that’s one of the joys of my
hell
It keeps me alert, seeing human misery quite clearly
There’s plenty to drink, though, a bottle of French wine tonight:
My survival depends on drink more than on food
I’m going out tonight, come with me
We’ll listen to a rhythm wild enough to wake up your heart
Make it beat at the right speed to lift you outside the walls of
your life
I’m going to meet someone who’ll show me a new universe
You too can share it
Hear life being discussed, people existing
Revealing all their secrets to complete strangers
Because I’m a complete stranger,
more to my family than to all those unknowns that I meet
Step into my hell
Once you come to understand it, perhaps it won’t be hell any more
But you won’t come to understand it
Just as I won’t come to understand you
Must we for that reason try to wipe out one another?
There never was a war without loss of life
I’ve got nothing to lose, you’ve got nothing to gain
If there must be a fight, I’ll fight
If you want war, I’ll wage it
If I have to kill you, I’ll kill you
I’ve got nothing to lose, you’ve got nothing to gain
Step into my hell…
Leave
and go anywhere else
When
everything’s going wrong
When
people don’t understand each other
When you
don’t look straight at me but glance to right or left
When
your parents try to convince me I’ve got the wrong number
so that
I can’t reach you
When my
social life is truly bankrupt
because
my studies take precedence
When
shame, guilt and even nostalgia are killing me
Let’s
sprinkle it all with whisky,
and make
our sign of the cross
Flee,
flee, flee!
As soon
as anyone criticises me, no matter what for
Looking
on me as less than nothing (which is entirely true)
Taking
me for an idiot to be exploited all the way and back
Abusing
me as much as they can and may, even within the law
You can
trample all over me, spit in my face and finish me off altogether
I’ve
still got the option of flight
Flee,
flee, flee!
When the
brain stops responding to the body
When my
IQ goes up (against nature) by a notch
When I
start to act like an idiot, talking to myself or crying in the dark
My only
solution, utter forgetfulness, complete renewal, rebirth
Flee,
flee, flee!
I want
to do it without causing trouble or sorrow
My
family have long since forgotten me,
how
could they feel the impact of the shot?
I want
to make sure that no one ever finds me
Spare
myself a funeral, the fire and the urn
Leap into
the ether and never come down again
Bury
myself in the earth and never come up for air
Sink to
the bottom of the sea and never resurface
Travel
through infinite space without arriving anywhere
Become
utter nothingness, with no remains in refrigerators or elsewhere
Burn up
everything I’ve touched, even my own ashes
Be
sublimated into energy which will lose itself among the stars
I’ve got
to stop myself from thinking, finish myself off for good, not half-heartedly
Stop all
the torment and wild fantasies
Blow all
the circuits of memory capable of retaining
any
token of my presence on earth
I have
no pity for anyone, least of all for myself
Forgive
me! I wanted nothing more than to live!
But
living is impossible...
I Go from One Extreme to the Other
As with
everything in this world, there’s no happy medium
Everything
goes right or everything goes wrong
And my
reactions are extreme
Either
I’m having such a good time that I could die of happiness
(Sometimes
just watching the movement of a snail)
Or I
want to die drowned in drink
(sometimes
just seeing a snail crushed at the side of the road)
I’ll
draw down the moon for you or I’ll cut off your head and bury you
I’m on a
strict diet or eating to bursting point like a pig
I’ll
dance at the edge of the cliff
but
sometimes I need a darkened room, hermetically sealed
I insult
people and lose all my friends
or I
shower them with more flowers than they can bear
I get
through a task by working on it twenty-four hours a day
or I do
nothing at all
I’m an
extremist
As with
everything in this world, there’s no happy medium
Everything
goes right or everything goes wrong
From the moment when . . .
You’re worth nothing any more and it’s
written in the stars
That you’ve failed at everything and have no future
That everyone’s rejected you, parents and the love of your life
That you’ve got no more food and it’s only by a miracle that you’ve
survived this long
That you’re lost at five o’clock in the morning in the middle of
some strange town with nowhere to sleep
Then real life begins
The life where you have no more hang-ups, no more shame
No morality, no outmoded values
Not answerable to anyone
Then I indulge myself to death
I make my base in
I go out, drink, smoke, and rave the night away
And when I’m lost in the Underground on my way to the centre of
town, I’m ecstatic!
I revel in my total freedom
I’m so far away from all those people who say things should be this
way and not that
I’m far away from the ones who live in the past and have no hope in
the future, without even taking a look at the present
Ah well, as for me, I’ve never lived as much as I do in the present
From the moment when everything you’ve ever known no longer exists,
life begins
We’ve been head over heels in love for four years
We don’t understand each other any more
but try to be faithful
We cook ourselves nice little dinners
Broccoli soup with cream, charlottes with maple syrup
We sleep together in a queen-size bed, hardly ever snore
We go together to the cinema, go shopping together
Everyone knows about our relationship and accepts it gladly
Life couldn’t be sweeter
But . . . where did we meet?
What no one knows is that we met in the bog at a bar in town
There’s nothing more romantic
A dark room filled with smoke at about two o’clock in the morning
I’d just arrived, was already drunk
I’d been smoking something dodgy, couldn’t see very well
You gave me a lift home saying perhaps we’d see each other again at
the end of term
I gave you the wrong phone number
And now today that love is dead
All that’s left in my head are the worst moments
For a long time I wished you dead
Every year you left me in the lurch to look around elsewhere
The little friends you slept with would come and ring our doorbell
You’re a complete slut
Today I feel free beyond description
Love is sweet . . .
When my life makes no sense
When I’m a wretched as can be
And only want one thing – suicide
Quick, quick
Something philosophical . . .
The stars, the sky, the moon
The universe, the galaxies
The question of our existence
Quick, quick
Something philosophical . . . .
I’m dying
I weep
No reason to exist
Quick, quick
Something philosophical . . .
To bring me to something essential
Something not real
Something other than this reality
Quick, quick
Something philosophical . . .
Doesn’t matter what
Don’t know what
To make me forget
Quick, quick
Something philosophical . . .
There’s Nothing Worse Than People With Principles
There’s nothing worse than people with principles
Because their principles only ever apply to themselves
Because of course no one can live entirely
according to the best principles in the world
And so they don’t live up to their ideal life
And suffer enormously
Then they try to regulate our lives instead
According to principles they don’t respect themselves
And so my life is fettered by these principles
Principles which change from one person to another
And I ask to see how all this may be justified
Where is the source of what should and should not be
Life could be much simpler
Without all these futile principles
How could you?
How could you lie to us all these years?
How could you manipulate events like that?
Why have so little faith in your children?
Did you think we couldn’t take things as they were?
Couldn’t adapt ourselves to new realities?
That we’d give one last cry and die?
No
We’re not fools
We’re not crazy
We’re capable of seeing, hearing, acting for ourselves
Taking control of our lives and being aware of what’s going on
Challenging everything from morning to night
And living in this new age of which we’ve been robbed
How could you?
How could you carry on like that?
How did you manage to hide so many things from us?
Everyone knew
Everyone understood
Everyone kept quiet
Everyone thought you were right
That these things must be hidden
Fear
Fear of talking
Fear of looking ridiculous
Of being destroyed
Of dying
How could you?
How could you lie to us all these years?
How could you manipulate events like that?
Some opinion you must have of your children
When you think it important they must live in ignorance!
And what would that change anyway?
Nothing
If I Were God
If I were a woman
I’d be beautiful
I’d be slim
I’d be clever
I’d be an engineer
I’d build a tower reaching up into space
I’d have 16 children who’d all be engineers
I’d understand everything happening around me
I’d embrace human rights, the poor, the orphaned
I’d be president of the company
I’d be Joan of Arc
I’d be secretary-general of the United Nations
But since I’m not a woman
I’m going to fall asleep in front of the telly with my beer
If I were President of the
I’d speak in the name of God
I’d be a diehard Christian
I’d speak in the name of family values
I’d be heedful of my duty and good
I’d be firm and ruthless
I’d joyfully love everyone
I’d kill the terrorist enemy
I’d be old and wise
I’d be rich as Croesus
I’d build up a strong army
I’d develop an infallible defence system
I’d rule the world
I’d be pure
I’d be perfect
I’d be the most powerful man ever
But since I’m not President of the
I’m going to the bog to wipe my bum
If I were God
I’d have created you, you miserable human
I’d know what was going on in your puny brain
I’d laugh at your petty power of authority
Your shortcomings would make me laugh
It wouldn’t interest me how pure you were
If you were a delinquent in the making, I’d take an interest in you
All your laws and social niceties would be meaningless to me
I’d delight in watching you destroy yourself
I wouldn’t listen to your self-serving prayers
I’d know just how wretched you were in all your apparent greatness
Your life would be futile
Your death would be futile
Only my overall plan would count for anything
Only what I’d foreseen for humanity would count
Only the final reckoning after the death of humanity would count
And since I am not God
I’m going back to sleep
The British Dream
The phone rings, it’s my drinking buddy from
He asks me to go with him again to
One pint, two pints
New Order are playing
And suddenly the world belongs to us
We dream about being rich, leaving for
To forget that we’re poor and looking for work
Again we talk about starting our own business
It’ll make millions and be quoted on the stock exchange
Three pints, four pints
We’re doing justice to English pubs
Our capitalist side never really disappears
What we’re looking for above all is our independence
We’ll succeed at something, though we don’t know what
And at once we’re the brightest and most brilliant people of our
generation
Five pints, six pints
Reality suddenly hits us
We’re nothing and we’ll never be anything
We can’t take risks and throw ourselves into crazy enterprises
You have to be mad to set up a business, only lunatics succeed
Seven pints, eight pints
We’re well into a coma
The whole world is mad, lunatics all of them!
What are we doing in this world?
Nine pints, ten pints
We vomit all over the toilets of
The two of us fall asleep at the bar
All our dreams wiped out by our natural functions
Compared to the American Dream, the British Dream is lovely!
I‘m nineteen
Just arrived in
Ready for anything
Queuing up at the Zombie Bar
To meet anyone there worth meeting
I’m not fussy, sleep with influential men and women
In a world of poverty you take advantage of what’s on offer
Me, me, me!
Now you’ll see I’m someone of little brain, great
With a good body, great
And an endless will to get all your plans going, great
We’re not in
And spend it all in as long is it takes
to say so
We’re not here for the millions
We’re here to meet the right person
I won’t wipe tables any more
I’ve done too much of that in all the capital cities of the world
Me, I’m going to be part of the world of the rich and famous
The fearsome world of
I’ll have one hit, two hits, three hits, a flop
Drown my sorrows in alcohol, then drugs
I’ll be forgotten for years
Then resurface one day when someone gives me a break
But I’ll screw up again
Later go into detox
I’ll babble about the Teletubbies
Time for me to hold a gun to my head
But I’ll have succeeded, for just one moment
To live on another planet
You thought I was good-looking
That I was pure
That my standards were the same as yours
That I was a reflection of your true worth
A surprise and a lie
You’ve seen how ugly I am
What a tearaway I am
What an alcoholic
What a junkie
A surprise and a lie
Oh, I was a hypocrite
I lied
I let people believe I was something I wasn’t
I’m an actor
A surprise and a lie
I’m ugly
I’m a tearaway
I’m an alcoholic
I’m a junkie
Reality and truth
And who are you to ask me for a reckoning?
Who are you to accuse me?
Who are you to denounce me for fraud?
Who are you to wipe out my existence?
You’re as ugly as I am
A woman wrinkled with age
When you look at her she shrinks
Away from the pain of this world
I bring her a rose
Sometimes you’re totally disillusioned with life
Sometimes nothing but dead flesh
Away from the pain of this world
I bring you roses
Sometimes it’s the rest of the world that seems disillusioned
Wanting to remove life
Away from the pain of the world
I bring it roses
I’ve read about it, heard about it, seen it
A universe closed in on itself
Away from the pain of the world
There are no more roses
Oh Gloria, If You Hadn’t Loved Cider So Much . . .
Oh Gloria, you were beautiful with your blonde hair
Your passions, your desires and love of fantasy
Oh Gloria, if you hadn’t loved cider so much
You’d have seen your three children grow up
You’d still be driving through the streets of Isleworth
You’d be cooking a turkey for Christmas Day
Oh Gloria, you were fascinating, a true libertine
You invented reasons for going back to your ex-husband because you
still loved him
You fought to save your children from poverty
You kept hens and ducks in your garden
You were typical of your generation
And had a huge impact on anyone who knew you
Oh Gloria, were you as beautiful as they say?
I’ve never seen you, even in a photograph
But everyone talks about you all the time
So who were you to have made such an impression on me?
I’ll never know
Oh Gloria, if you hadn’t loved cider so much . . .
Three minutes have gone by
The world begins to wonder
Where is he now?
Then my heart beats wildly
I turn on my computer and click on my electronic sheep
It looks at me, hums, walks around and produces strange noises
This really cheers me up
My little sheep . . .
Then I begin to cry, for everything there is to cry about
Then it sneezes and I’m happy again for a moment
It jumps higher and higher
Leaps up on to the words in these lines
And this really cheers me up
And I cry more than ever
And I realise that I really love this virtual sheep
That it’s the only thing in the whole world that can stop me crying
But then I realise just how sad I’ve become
When a virtual animal is all that I have
And I really don’t know what I’d do without it
How could I have become so sad?
At night I look through the bars
I see the full moon
My gaze then falls on the cement floor
You’d believe I was thinking about remorse
Or about vengeance
But I’m not thinking about anything
My heart is empty
My gaze absent
I’ve stopped living
I’ve always held my breath
I look at the moon in the sky
I’m far away, far, far away in space
I can’t remember being born
I can’t remember having lived
A vague memory comes back to me
Only to be forgotten between the toilet and the stool
Human suffering
I despair of ever seeing a better day
When life becomes bearable
I hear stories through the bars
You’d believe they’d make me think
Or make my condition worse
But I don’t hear anything
My soul is deaf
My life is total silence
I’ve stopped living
I’ve always turned a deaf ear
I hear the stars in the sky
I’m far away, far, far away in space
I don’t remember hearing tears at my birth
I don’t remember hearing anything at all
A vague snatch of speech comes back to me
Only to be forgotten between the candle and my bed
Human wretchedness
I despair of ever hearing a better day
When the cacophony of civilisation becomes bearable
I lay there in silence
Blood dripping on the ground
I didn’t see your gun
I’m dying for you
You’ve never understood anything
Unknown in the big city
Lost for days on end without seeing you
Waiting for you in
Where were you then when I was still alive?
I’m lying here in silence
Listening to myself die
My gun in the bracken
I’m dying for you
I’ve never understood anything
Unknown in the big city
Lost for days on end seeing you in my dreams
Waiting for you in
So where are you now that I’m dead?
I’m lying here in silence
Listening to you die
Whose gun was it?
You’re dying for me
We’ve never understood anything
Unknown in big cities
Lost for days on end without seeing each other
Waiting for each other in
Where are we now that we’re dead?
I saw light on the horizon
Got out of my boat to hear more clearly
Flew as far as the mountain
A wave filled the sky
Seductive music charmed me
In that light I saw
Sound travel over the fields
Flying with bats over the canal
Waves filled the sky
And I understood
All the answers were there on the horizon
In the smallest details in front of my eyes
Light, sound, waves
I flew all over the sky
With the eagle eyes of the illuminated
A tortured soul like mine
That has lost its direction
On the right road to happiness
That’s complete madness
I take all souls with me in my torment
In an endless madness at the brink of day
All the outmoded constructions
Which existed only in my imagination
Oh God . . .
I see things
I hear things
Beyond my understanding
Save me!
I’m at the beginning of time
I’m at the end of time
I’m infinite
Madness has got hold of my poor soul
I’ve gone crazy
Hear my prayer!
It’s as infinite as space
But in this universe I’m all-powerful
I control the capabilities of everything
I see beyond the horizon
The nightmare of my existence
I’m no longer myself
I never was myself
I’ll never be myself
Complete madness
Oh yes, some nights I turn around
And realise I’m alone in this space
That there’s no way in or out that can lead me to anyone else
I’m alone in the world
I think about what’s going on in the starry sky
I’m trying to understand the reality around me
I work on my own ideas, my own ideals
I know that the rest of the world exists only in my imagination
This is my life, what’s in my mind
With trees and the camp fire
Nothing else exists
Nothing to poison my existence
I manage to forget you
I manage to forget that somewhere office blocks exist
Towns and their inhabitants
Duties and responsibilities
I find myself alone with my ideas
My theory of the universe
My home-made philosophy
My fate and my happiness
I’m leaving alone for space on my asteroid
I’m going out of the solar system
I’m exploring other galaxies
I’m alone in the world
One day I woke up crazy
The way you are now
My only solution is this anarchy
They tried to lock me up for some time
Time for me to recover my spirits
Time for me to understand that life is a game
Time to understand we must always throw the dice
Time to understand we must accept hell
Pretend to enjoy it and smile at life
One day you’ll all be crazy
The way I am now
Your only solution will be medical help
They’ll lock you up for some time
Time for you to recover your spirits
Time for you to understand that life is a game
Time to understand we must always throw the dice
Time to understand we must accept hell
Pretend to enjoy it and smile at life.
You’re looking at me
I’m not listening
You attract my attention
Your head’s in the clouds!
I reply
No, no, my head’s not in the clouds
You watch me
I’m somewhere else
You panic
You’re head’s in the clouds!
I reply
No, no, my head’s not in the clouds
You spy on me
You’re infuriated
You yell
You’re head’s in the clouds!
I reply
No, no, my head’s not in the clouds
I’m much further away than the clouds
I can’t begin to understand
Why I’m still alive
When I’ve tried so hard
To leave this world
To rid myself of you
In ridding myself of myself
Flee from this old country
Go to new places to escape from other people in old countries
And isolate myself on a desert island
to be sure of finding the inner peace I deserve
I swallowed pills, hundreds of pills
Drank 13 bottles of whisky one after another
Threw up 13 bottles of whisky probably because I was full of pills
I bought myself all The Smiths’ records
Fired a bullet into my head but it went straight through my brain
and I’m still alive
Good Lord, what’s a man got to do to die in this world?
Take down his trousers, and jump off a bridge
Blah blah blah blah, hic!
So go to hell
I don’t give a toss about you
What I’d like is to get rid of you forever
But that doesn’t work
That’s why I threw myself on to those electric cables
50,000 volts and I’m still alive
The only explanation
Is God, he’s the one who’s stopping me from dying
So He can screw himself!
I’ve stopped living
I’ve abandoned all my plans
I’ve thrown my promising future out of window
I can tell the whole world of my misery and suffering
The hell you’ve made for me
There’s no place for joy in your universe
Happiness was never part of the equation
I’ve stopped thinking for myself
I obey your commands
I break the law and work all the overtime I can
I work like a dog to forward your useless projects
I’m your slave
Forever, yours for eternity
I give you my life, my talents, my skills
All that for your personal advantage
I don’t say a word
I listen to your sermons on my faults
I ask pity for myself
I’ll get to heaven
The heaven of slaves
Amen
I’m a contradiction of nature in every sense of the term
I think differently from the rest of the world from A to Z
I’m totally sure there’s no justice in this world
And go further in believing that there’s nothing to justify justice
I’m moved when I see how we let people die of hunger
Very surprised to find that the hungry don’t rise up
against those who have too much to eat
Order has been imposed on the world through fear
A social contract ignoring the fact that we’re in a jungle
That, in the jungle, the law of the strongest prevails and the rest
must die
But the ruling principles of these societies flirt with anarchy
There again the law of the strongest prevails but on a different
level
You have to fight against life, fight against death
Impose yourself, your ideas, desires, needs, laws and rights
But everything in this world is only convention
There are no rights, no freedoms,
no need of anyone else we should gratify
Nothing is good, nothing is evil
It’s up to us to adapt ourselves to life
There are no noble feelings
There’s only hidden self-interest
Even in aiming for heaven and going to paradise
To Die in Peace
I would so like to die in peace
Far from all thought-systems and any systems at all
Far away from everyone
Sufficient unto myself for my own survival
In conditions I know how to manage
There’s nothing more you can bring me,
I’m full, look, I’m throwing up in your face
There’s nothing I can bring you,
I’ve seen nothing but rejects everywhere
So, if I can’t expect anything from you
and you can’t expect anything from me,
why force all these duties, responsibilities and bureaucracy on me?
I’m not asking to drink the whole sea,
I’m not asking for all these rules and regulations
I’m not even asking for any sort of enjoyment
Even less that my needs are satisfied
I’m asking to be able to stay sitting here on the ground
until death catches up with me
But you never grant me this right
Sad world!
Dear God, Let Me Be Done With It
I’ve looked at your planet
Your creatures
I can’t identify with them
They’ve rejected me
I’ve admired creation
In every place
I can’t identify with it
I want to stop existing
What a wonderful possibility!
Cancer, pneumonia, some incurable illness
Why haven’t you picked me?
But I was born dead
Oh why?
Why have you let me suffer so much?
Why force me to act?
Why force me to exist?
No goal to aim for
No social success to look for
No love which will make me happy
No personal satisfaction worth the effort
Permanent guilt
Guilt at the heart of me
Guilt I don’t understand
The desire to achieve great things without asking anything in
return
So let me die
Come On, Damn It, I’ve Got a Life to Live
I’m a blob, a big ball of flesh bursting its skin
Like the rest of the world, I’m slowing down
I take ages to finish the smallest task
I sleep more than I live
It takes all the motivation I can muster to get myself out of bed
Going anywhere is quite an adventure, it takes so long to psych
myself into
Leaving the building, taking the tube, oh God, it’s so complicated
For a head as befuddled as mine
That needs three cups of coffee to function even minimally
I’m a blob when I should be invigorated
Dash out of this bedroom!
Get out and never come back, enjoy life!
Find all possible motivation!
Be inspired for good to live a full and exciting life!
I need to find some ruling passion soonest!
Need to be strong instead of passive!
Full of energy, functioning, productive!
Come on, damn it, I’ve got a life to live!
I looked for you on the Californian coast where someone had shown
me an extraordinary view
I looked for you in TV studios where all our dreams are built up
I looked for you at a table in Caesar’s Palace between two slot
machines
And I looked for you in woods, on mountains where I was strangely
bored
I thought I’d find you in the most famous tourist spot in
I thought my eyes would be opened in front of the windows in the
red light district of Amsterdam, but I was more afraid than anything else
Then I walked through the hotel where they hold the
I opened the proceedings in front of 6000 people, that gave me a
buzz for about thirty seconds
I let everything drop, I showed myself out this time, for a change
I wanted to speak to the whole planet but no one wanted to speak to
me
Suddenly they changed their minds and now the whole planet wants to
speak to me
But I’ve nothing more to say to them and what they say is extraordinarily
banal
Sometimes you meet magical people and spend wonderful moments with
them
I haven’t met any for the last five years and I despair
No one stands out from the crowd, no one has a vision to fulfil
Their zest for life has thrown them into alcohol and drugs
Making them happy for a split second
And making their existence bearable a little longer
But it’s destroying them and finishing them off today
I’ve lost all hope
Part 2
Rap/Heavy Metal Songs (more extreme)
We may still save humanity in America
Don’t lie
You have always known it
All we need is not love
All we need is money
Money is everything
It feeds your wonderful children
It saves your marriage
Which was doomed from the start anyway
It is the only thing by which you can
valorize yourself
How much are you worth?
Do you deserve to be alive?
Has your life any kind of meaning?
Only through money can we assess your
worthiness
To be alive
Money is the only thing that can bring you
to freedom
Really help you escape your miserable
existence
What we call reality
Money is the dream come true
The only dream you ever had
The only answer to all your hopes
Don’t deny it
Money is everything to you
You can never have too much
You can never feel guilty for rolling all
over it
Money is the only way to happiness
Trying to convince anyone of the opposite
Can only come from people
Who have accepted their true lack of
potential in getting it
Their unworthiness to being part of this
society
That we have painfully built for ourselves
For centuries now
Money is everything
Money is all there is
Money is your only salvation
It changes everything
It saves everything
It is the basis of all your values
Protecting your family
That little nuclear family
So ready to explode
As soon as money runs out
Say it after me
Money is everything!
Money is all I need!
Money is my only escape!
Get it
At any cost, any sacrifice
Life demands it
Your family demands it
Your existence, your values, your
worthiness
Depend on it
Do it!
Get it!
More money!
Is all you need!
Focus, concentrate, find a way
Find your true way
To the only meaningful thing there is
Money
For everyone, forever
To feel good about yourself
To create happiness all around
This dream existence you have been told
Was your only way out
The only reason why you ever existed
It all comes down to one thing
Saving the world
Making this world a happier place
Get humanity out of its eternal misery
Only one solution
Only one goal
Your only real true independence
Useless to lie
Even to yourself
Deep down you know
No need to be ashamed of it
Our whole society has been built on that
one principle
No matter what you have to do to get it
Or how you will go about it
Just keep in mind one single idea
And you will be saved
There’s nothing else in this world
Against your downfall
Learn to love it
Or else you’ll be a slave
Repeat after me
Money is everything!
Good boy, Good girl
As long as you still believe in money
We may still save humanity
In
Awareness in
Have I gone everywhere in this world
Enjoy my own little awareness once in a
while
Alone yet in another hotel room
Wondering about my own individuality
In a sea of billions
How insignificant I can be
Wondering if I can make any difference
And if it is at all important
If I do or not
Maybe there was never any meaning to it
Just a fact that needs to be accepted
We are six billions
I am one
I am aware that I exist
I have my own individuality
Should enjoy it
Go for a walk
Look at the sea in the Bay
Look at the constructions
The bridge
Another symbol of our so-called greatness
The
Of artificial intelligence
Wonder if it has any awareness
Individuality in a world of multiplication
Of the same, over and over again
That one voice
At this point
Cannot make any difference
Indulging
Fighting
Surviving
Still have that chance to see more
Explore more than the next one
Reach
See that bridge for myself
And wonder
In my awareness
What it all means
If anything
We’ve built a valley of silicon
Like we grew a valley of wine trees
Can artificial intelligence get drunk?
Can it wonder about its existence?
Can it have awareness?
And would my life be better
Without that awareness?
Mindless existence
I’m in
And that’s all there is to it
Just go to the sea
Just look at it
Do not think
It is only painful
There is no answer here
To all these questions
Why torture ourselves
Why invent philosophy?
Can I just live for a change?
Forget my individuality?
My awareness?
This intelligence which serves no real
purpose
To my own happiness?
Can I not just enjoy being alive?
Without having to put back everything
In its own context?
Can I not just for once
Be in
And not be aware of it?
Of anything?
As a meaningless fact
I’m here now
Let’s just enjoy it?
Without throwing me into thinking mode
Of self doubt
That this world could actually be real
Meaningful
With some sort of great purpose
That we just can’t figure out?
I’m sorry
I cannot accept that it is about love and
reproduction
Multiplication of more useless existence
Who will one day end up in
And wonder
Why it is that they are alive
When they see that bridge
In wonder
To what symbol we were able to construct
To give a reason, a meaning
To something that has none
Awareness is perhaps not that magical
A bit of programming could simulate that
Individuality is perhaps just an illusion
We are all thinking the same
We are all the same
We are one
This feeling of individuality
This feeling of awareness
It’s programmed on that carbon chip
Which is my brain
I guess God never knew about
miniaturization
Might have been the lack of competition
The lack of a desire to make tons of money
My brain is about to explode
And I am limited in my understanding
To the program
Cannot go beyond
Cannot understand beyond
I’m in
No need to think anymore
Just exist
If I can
Reach that bridge
Be in awe in front of what we were able to
build
In terms of symbols
And especially
Stop processing
Avoid the only conclusion which seems right
To terminate the processing process forever
Avoid the urge to jump off that bridge
To the great darkness
I tell you
Really worth being aware
In
You had one good look at me
You hated me
Then you had another good look in time
I’m likable
Once you move beyond my rough edges
My God!
You have only scratched the surface
You have no idea, do you?
Of where I am
If only you could hear this
If only I could let you hear this
You might have a better understanding
Of how I really feel
Not about you
But about the world we live in
I am at the point where I am wondering
If existing is worth it
And you’re talking about
Am I likable or not?
Am I capable of emotions and sensitivity or not
Of understanding
No I am not
I have other worries
Other stuff to deal with
I can’t even stop and worry
About the details of what you are worried about
I am beyond all that
My rough edges
Whether I do it on purpose or not
Am I likable or not
I could not care less
When I only feel like taking a gun
And shoot you in the head
I do not want to be with you
I do not want to talk to you
I certainly do not want to spend time
Worrying about what you said
What I said
Feeling guilt
For my rough edges
Looking for a liberation
Of the consequences of my smallest action
My smallest word
Which seems to have quite an impact on you
I thought we were the same
You are obviously dying in superficiality
Believing in your own intelligence
When you cannot even think beyond your new found
husband
Destiny
And if you are worth it or not
If you should be on a diet or not
No you’re not worth it
You are a pain
You are capable
But you’re more trouble than it is worth
Go back to where it is that you come from
And die there
I never ask you in my life
I could very well exist without you
You’re not worth the pain
Shut up!
Leave me alone!
Get out of my life!
Or I’ll blow up your brain!
How’s that for my rough edges?
(chorus:)
I have not started the war
I never do
But I sure
Will finish it
Until none of us survive
You did that to me
You did not think about the consequences
Is that your best shot?
Because look
I’m still here
You perhaps thought
That there would be no tomorrow
That I would not be back to suffer you everyday
That I was no longer your worry
You were wrong
I am back with a vengeance
I have not started the war
I never do
But I sure
Will finish it
Until none of us survive
There is no forgiveness possible
In that kind of mind game you decided to play
I cannot forget what you just did
I cannot try to like you now, can I?
I can only hate you
And do everything I can
To destroy you
Before you destroy me
Man!
You wanna play that game?
You will find out that it is very destructive
indeed
Like in any war
There will be no winner
We will all be dead at the end of it
I have not started the war
I never do
But I sure
Will finish it
Until none of us survive
What choice have you given me?
You did that to me
It was unjustified
They saw through your game
Or you were not convincing enough
You could not find the smoking gun
Because there was none
Don’t worry, I’ll find one
I’ll succeed in destroying you
Because I am not like you
I do not play these mind games
Under any slight trifle
I make my move afterwards
In self defense
When I have the perfect opportunity
No trifles
Just plain hard undeniable facts
About your incompetence
And your mind games
To bury your inadequacy
This is a declaration of war
I declare that I am now going to have one goal only
Your utter destruction
I have not started the war
I never do
But I sure
Will finish it
Until none of us survive
You should have thought about the consequences
The end always justifies the means
It’s personal now
I don’t care to die
Do you?
I have not started the war
I never do
But I sure
Will finish it
Until none of us survive
You can rape me
Violate me all you want
Shoot me in the head afterwards
I’m so beyond caring
Make me your slave
Ask me to suck your dick
Suck your brain
I’m so beyond caring
Tell me all your bullshit, I can take it
Only need to drink myself to death
afterwards
To forget that…
I’m so beyond caring
Walk all over me!
Destroy me!
Kill me!
I’m so beyond caring!
What is worst that you could ask from me?
You will think of something
I’m sure
I’m so beyond caring
One day I’ll put a stop to this
One day I’ll be the one dictating
One day I will kill you where you stand
One day…
I won’t be beyond caring
The World is
filled with Backstabbers
(chorus:)
In this world
This is all there is left to do
Backstab happily my friend!
Before they backstab you to death
It is ridiculous
We’re all walking around
With our little dagger in our right hand
We use it all time
To prove how incompetent everyone else is
To prove how great we are
But I am asking you
How great are we really?
If to prove it we need a dagger in our right hand?
If we need to kill everyone else to reach the top
When there is not even a top to speak of?
The world is filled with backstabbers
Never forget it, never let your
guard down
If you do not kill them first
They certainly will
Your first ever vibe about anyone tells it all
You are warned the very first second
And yet you think you might escape it
Somehow
Escape your destiny?
In a world full of backstabbers?
You must be dreaming
Be one of those optimistic persons
They always die first
It’s a law of nature
They are so easy to manipulate
In a world of manipulators
If you are not already calculating your next move
You are doomed
In a world filled with backstabbers
You can only yourself become one
In this world
This is all there is left to do
Backstab happily my friend!
Before they backstab you to death
They’ve been testing me, like a rat!
They dropped me in that little labyrinth
There was nowhere to go
So I bang my head in every wall
I’ve become famous for it
Then they subjected me to the worse treatments
Just to find out how resistant I was
How much I could endure before cracking
I never did
They were impressed
Now they have added a new level
For me to run everywhere into
Somehow along the way
I’ve become aware
That I was just a rat
That I was just being tested
So I decided to stop playing the game
I did not care to bang myself in the walls
anymore
I did not care for the second level
Their new testing ground
Soon I will be declared a great
disappointment
A rat without any cleverness
Looking at the sky
Hoping for some salvation
Not playing the game anymore
Not eating or drinking anymore
Letting myself die in my corner
I
will be judged a failure
When in fact
I saw through it all
And it depressed me so much
That I’d rather let myself die
Than play their game
From my point of view
This is my only success
I used to think you were so cool
Being in
Enjoying success and all
And I was nothing
How could I be as cool as you?
Living a miserable existence
Rejected by everyone
You were everything I wanted to be
I wanted to be just like you
As cool as you
I was envious
Jealous
Was I supposed to be born cool?
As it looked so natural on you
But then I started to study you a bit better
I got to know you better
I started to see the cracks
Beyond that cool exterior
There is such a small human being inside
Ten times more worried and frightened than
I am
Paranoid, lost, in search for love and
acceptation
Not cool at all!
Were you not supposed to be a god?
Stronger than I could ever be?
Not worried about anything
As if everything came to you naturally
Not caring about anything
Especially not small people like me?
What a discovery
I am stronger than you will ever be
Your cool exterior was hiding
Your nothingness
Your tons of psychological problems
You are so small!
You are nothing!
I don’t care anymore for cool people
If anything
I am cooler than any of the cool people
Because I am real, not fake
I don’t care for what people think of me
I’m just trying to survive, all right?
I am myself
And that makes me cooler
Than you
You’re not so cool after all
So just get lost!
Wasn’t it you who looked disdainfully at me that day because I was
only a street ruffian?
Wasn’t it you who pushed me out of the way with your foot when I
was lying crushed and dead on the pavement?
Wasn’t it you who danced in all your pride and self-confidence with
such petty vainglory that today it makes me laugh?
I remember, it was you who imposed your world-view on me
Your closed and ready-made interpretation of the universe
With its strictly limited horizons and several long, punishing
steps to climb in order to get anywhere at all
How wonderful it seemed to me then that you should make me your
mirror
I hadn’t realised the terrible potential that was slumbering in me
The infinite energy that was going to inspire the masses
The army that would follow me to trample on you at my rallying cry
But I’m not content with that, it’s not enough
Because I’m not like you, I’ve no need of that
Which you wanted so much, which you thought you had and never will
have
I’ve been through the hell you described to me as paradise
And I’m the only one to realise that something other than that life
exists
What was your first name again?
A gun at your head
To make you understand
The eternal void
The insignificance of our destiny
Now I see there’s nothing beyond the horizon
Nothing to expect from nothing
The irony of our existence
I’ll throw
A bomb under your seat
To make you understand
The darkness of our logic
The violence in everything
Now I see there’s no hope beyond the horizon
Nothing to hope for from anyone
The hell of our consciousness
I’ll start
A world war on your head
To make you understand
The evil in this world
The uselessness of the planet
I see now that there’s nothing to see beyond the horizon
Nothing to expect from space
The illusion of science
I’ll explode
Have you lost Faith in Destiny?
Sometimes the most fervent believer doubts his own beliefs
Sometimes the most certain person in the world is suddenly unsure
Sometimes the most optimistic people become the most pessimistic
There is no reason to doubt
Haven’t God always been there?
The one up there who will suddenly open the gate
Of money, successful jobs and eternal love?
No reason to live in the dark
No possible way that once again everything will not happen as it
should be
To maximize life and rewards and perfection
Oh why the doubts then?
Why allow these questions, uncertainties and despair?
Should everything not happen before these creep up?
Does God always need to test its subjects, its creatures, its bugs?
Has he not got better things to do?
Or is it just a program fulfilling its purpose?
Or perhaps it takes time for a perfect timeline to get all the
elements working together?
I don’t have the time for that
Everything needs to fall into place instantly
My future needs to be drawn on the spot without the wait and
despair
I need to take on the world right now!
I need to face the ugly face of humanity while it is still hot!
I want to take over the world in my march towards freedom!
God! You are listening right now, aren’t you?
What the heck are you waiting for?
Things need to happen fast
Or else I’m gonna start killing people
There are about 30 desperate persons living in my block
Awaiting their death for being as lost as I am
Doing nothing more productive for society than I am
What the heck are you doing?
Are they supposed to wait there until you find something for them
to do?
Am I supposed to rot here until you find me something to do?
Or should I provoke the circumstances
Create my own destiny out of nothing?
I will take over the world by storm
My destiny awaits me
I guess nothing falls from the sky
I’ve got to make it happen
I am preparing my own revolution
And it is going to hurt
I have not lost faith in destiny!
Oh dear I went back to where I came from
I had these memories of where I had been
I could no longer live in my memories
Drowning in my whisky every night
Drowning in my sorrows
I had to touch again what it is that I had experienced
For the one moment that I felt I was alive
In
For a better future without realizing that this was it
Nothing better would ever come
Me dying on these garbage bags on
Writing some useless ideas that will never see the light of day
Oh god I was happy then!
It took me to go back home to understand
A lost song to bring me back there
And I left once again my loved ones
I left everything behind again
To go and live this desperate life
There is no cure to my misery
It is made of romantic and horrible feelings
The memory that keeps me going
Maida Vale and
This is not me, but it was for just a moment
A glimpse into what we are missing
Something unreachable that I have reached
And now I cannot live without it
Please drive me there
Let me die there
In this memory of a perfect moment of desperation
That meant everything
Oh please let me be happy again!
I am not sure what makes me happy
I have been the happiest at the bottom of my misery
Though I do not wish to reach the bottom again
But I wish happiness all the same
Oh please let me be happy again!
Whether it would be in the Midi of France, lost
Nowhere to go and nothing to think about
No responsibilities or obligations
Just the where I am now and what to do to think about
Oh please let me be happy again!
I could do with erasing my identity and my debts
I could do with starting from zero once again
I could wish for no possession of any kind
Nothing to my name and no food
Oh please let me be happy again!
When I have nothing and no one to love!
When I am all alone and lost somewhere I know nothing about!
When I am naked to the bone with no past history
I just want to remain innocent
Oh please let me be happy again!
Let me walk on these walls by the mountain
Let me forget that I have ever existed
Let me hope that I never need to think again
I want to be a blank storage device looking at the sky
Oh please let me be happy again!
Nothing to achieve
No dream to pursue
No meaning to life to understand
No one to poison my existence
I want to die here alone…
And then I will be happy!
When suddenly I have proven you wrong
When suddenly I realized I knew more than you will ever do
I may be young but old age does not bring this wisdom as it was
always thought
On the contrary, you will quickly bring this world to an end
And you dare calling yourself wise
Telling me I have no culture
Telling me I am worth nothing
Telling me I know nothing about this world
I guess you were talking about yourself
Because I don’t feel so powerless
I don’t feel that I don’t know anything
I would feel great anyway for not knowing anything about you and
your culture
I don’t care about all that you have learned in your long years on
this planet
I wish I never got around learning even the basics of it
I only know because you obliged me without ever asking me
I was too young and too stupid then to tell you that it was all
meaningless
You can die happy to know something
It will always be nothing anyway
Because you failed to understand what was truly important
That all that is hollow
I pity you… more than you pity me for my ignorance
I pity you… for your ignorance
Everyone needs to start somewhere
This is where I started
Mopping the floor
Packing the groceries for you madam
Delivering things to the world
Making club sandwiches and pizzas for the planet
Out of desperation come great things
Out of misery come revolutionary philosophies
Out of hell come big new political systems
Give me a break
I am sick
Great things are never great for too long
Revolutionary philosophies have always been questioned
New political systems always fail the people
Everyone needs to start somewhere
Unfortunately
Everyone needs to end somewhere
This is where I ended
Mopping the floor
Packing the groceries
Delivering things
Making club sandwiches and pizzas
Just how it should be…
History has got nothing to do with you
Were you there when the first man landed on the Moon?
Yes, I know, you were alive
But have you done anything to make it happen?
No.
Were you there when the chart of rights and liberties was added to
the Constitution?
Yes, I know, you feel it to this day and you are proud of it
But have you done anything to make sure it would be respected?
No.
Were you there when the
first atomic bomb exploded?
Yes, I know, you enjoyed it and freaked out all at the same time
But have you done anything to stop it from happening again?
No.
Were you there when the world was created?
Yes, I know, you live by the rules of God
But have you done anything to preserve this creation?
No.
Were you there when Hitler was killed?
Yes, I know, you feel like you have won the war
But what the hell have you got to do with the war?
Nothing.
Are you at all alive?
Have you at all changed the life of more than a few people?
Why do you exist?
You have nothing to do with history!
Why don’t you just die?
No one will miss you as you do not make any difference
Your useless routine
Your poor judgment
Your insignificant existence
I’m so sorry for you
You are so small
You have never created anything
You will never change anything on a massive scale
Or even on a small scale
I really don’t understand why we allow you to live
You are useless
At best you’re an annoyance
A parasite
Just like the rest of the world
Am I guilty?
Of wondering what you would look like with a knife in your back?
Of imagining your bloody face on your computer desk?
Of secretly dreaming of decapitating you on my way to work?
Of thinking about blowing up this place?
Am I guilty?
I would like to be racist for once and piss on you
I hope I could still be respected after that
I wish I could be all alone on this planet
I want to eradicate the human race
Am I guilty?
I am giving you all the ammunition you will ever need
Here is the proof that I am a mental case
You have all you need to put me in prison
Or do you?
Am I guilty?
Do what you want
Believe what you say
You might think I can no longer go into politics now
But you would be wrong
Are they guilty?
Easy to dig some dirt
Does it matter what I am saying here?
Let’s see how far I can go despite my words
People forget, people don’t care
Who’s guilty?
If you’d finally understand that they are worse than I am
Because they don’t only think about it, they act upon it
If I was allowed to try and if I’d care
I would be a very successful President
What am I doing here?
Oh God, I don’t know
I must be lost
God help me!
This is sin city
This is too much
For my poor soul
I’m trying
I’m trying very hard
To remain pure and simple
I must be the most complicated
Human being on the planet
I must be the most impure
Human being on the planet
I am awaiting salvation
Here is my confession
I have lied
I have stolen
I have done much worse
Believe me
Is there no salvation for me?
I’m condemned
To walk around for eternity
Looking for my way out
Nowhere to be found
Repeating the same things
Over and over again
I’m the ghost of destiny
God, please help me
To get out of this nightmare
I never wanted it
I never thought this is where I would be
I was not thinking
I drank myself to death every night
Just to forget
Just to forget to sin
I guess in the end
It is just not possible
To not sin
I guess in the end
It is just not possible
To be as perfect as you are
I guess in the end
It is just not possible
To be God
If I had brought into this world
A child as depressed as I am
I would be depressed now
Why would I want to bring into this world
A child?
What is there for him or for her to be
happy about?
Thirty years of studying a very specific
and boring subject?
Being bullied by other students and
teachers alike?
A high paying job in the corporate world?
Being bullied by colleagues and bosses
alike?
If that child did not commit suicide after
that
I’d be lucky
What hope could I give him or her?
In a better world where happiness exists?
When I know damn well that it is not
possible?
That everyone they will ever meet
Will just cause them problem after problem
And sap any kind of energy they might have?
Backstabbing is all there is down here
What has this world got to offer to anyone?
Let alone a new child born with hopes and
dreams?
Nothing, you can only drive them all to
suicide
It is a very sad story
Just as well
That I am the end of the family line
Study your symbolism, for god’s sake!
When I say that I want to shoot you in the
head
What I really mean
Is that I don’t like what you are doing
When I say that we need to blow up this
planet
What I really mean
Is that really we should try a little bit
harder to be nice to people
When I say that this country is going to
hell and everyone should die
What I really mean
Is that frankly, I need a little bit more
money to finish the month
When I am saying that you should go back
into the anus of your mom
What I really mean
Is that you could smile at me once in a
while
When I say die bitch!
What I really mean
Is, oh for God’s sake, I do mean it, die
bitch!
No seriously, I mean, go see a psychologist
dear, it might help us all
When I say I had enough and I will commit
suicide
What I really mean
Is let’s have sex pumpkin, it has been a
week, you know?
When I say that no one deserves to live
What I really mean
Is that, well, I’m not sure what that one
really means
Perhaps I really mean it after all
Desperate for a gun in America
That’s right
I so think that the solution to
All humanity’s problems
Hang with me owning a gun
Believe me!
I need a gun!
Help me get one!
Now!
I could achieve great things in
I could finally get that world to work
To think!
I’m sure of it
This is the only language anyone can
understand
That is the only language I can understand
Give me a gun!
A big one
I’ll change the world
I’ll make it a success
I’ll make you all the profit you’ll ever
need
Holding the planet at ransom
That’s my destiny
That’s what I was born for
I’ll crush them
I’ll crucify them all
To our own advantage
I’ll make them understand the urgency at hand
Got to meet my deadline
Got to make a few millions here
Got to turn you into Jesus-Christ himself
You’ve got it all wrong!
Forget these damned management consultants
I don’t need more processes
I don’t need a new job description
I don’t need a new Manager
And more stuff to do with no time for it
I need a gun!
That’s all I need!
I’ll make your dream come true
I’ll put them all in line
I’ll collect the money
We’ll make it!
I assure you
You’ll be rich
Beyond your wildest dreams
Forget all your bollocks
If you want real and tangible results
Stop spending millions on management
consultants
Just give me a gun…
Let me buy you out
just to shut you up
That’s it
I’m annoyed now
I’m no longer amused
We’re in
I’ve got a few billions behind me
You better shut up
Or
I might just buy you out
And shut your big mouth out
For good
What the fuck are you talking about?
We’re purer than pure
We define what’s pure here, you see
We define what should be done
Where the money should go
What the government should do
We dictate around here
I’m sorry you didn’t know
You’re about to find out
I’m not sorry to say
I have unlimited powers
I have infinite budgets
Just to shut you up
You’ll never know what hit you
I can tell you that for free
But since you do not listen
You’re about to find out
How much this will cost you
I don’t need to ask permission
I don’t need to consider your future
You’re dead and that’s it
With any luck
I might not even need
To get my big guns out
You’ll die peacefully
Just as expected
You’re such a wimp
You’ll crawl out at the first alarm bell
This is how we do business in
Shut up now
Or
One way or another
I can assure you
You’re dead
The Mormon’s
Disney Land in Utah
Too late, I’m a Mormon now!
Just as planned
I went to
Visited the
The Disney World they built
To convince me
That Jesus-Christ was the way forward
Didn’t have to read the Mormon’s Book
Didn’t have to hear their philosophy
Didn’t have to hear the truth
I just had to be guided around
By the most beautiful and pure
Sitting down by the Tabernacle
With her Mormon’s blond hair
Want a trip
To this 1.5 billion dollars Mormon’s
shopping mall darlin’?
I’ve seen the weirdest dresses there
My God, must belong to Jesus’ mother
herself
You would look so pure in this
I tell ya!
Oh dear, oh dear
It was just too much for my poor mind
I fell in love instantly
Ready to sell my soul to whomever
To get her forever and ever
Never mind that divorce is not an option
That cancelling a marriage is an alien
concept
I want as many babies to pop out
Of between her two legs
As possible
I’m sold
I’m the biggest Mormon you have ever seen
Where do I pay my tithing or tilting or
whatever?
40% of my salary (10% before tax)
And all you needed to convince me
Was that angel
Of a
That you have walking us around
Your Mormon’s
Notice of Resignation, The Perfect Sample Letter
Please accept this letter as my notice of resignation, effective
today
Finally! I got the courage to tell you to get lost!
This wasn't an easy decision
You bet! The easiest I have ever made
Because I am grateful for the rewarding employment I've had with
your company
Ah! One more week, I would have been dead, or I would have killed
everyone
But after long hours of consideration
Well, one long second in fact
I have made my decision and it is now final
Don’t you think to do me a counter offer,
you would need to sack the whole office before I even reconsider my
decision
I will shortly after return to
You can keep your
It's been a great pleasure working with you
A fucking nightmare that was
I wish you continued success
Well in fact, I could not care less
Please feel free to call on me if I can help to ensure a smooth
transition
Don’t call us, we won’t call you
Sincerely
Go fuck yourself!
I live in the most beautiful country in the world
The Prime Minister is the most intelligent being on the planet
He’s challenged everything
I now have enough to eat
The economy’s rolling in money
My job pays a fortune compared to what I’d earn elsewhere
It’s elsewhere that people are dying of hunger
While I live in the richest country of all
It’s crazy, money falls from the sky
But the district I work in is dedicated to finance
What does this mean?
It means everything because I have enough to eat
Life is wonderful!
I weep with joy!
Look at me, happiness is written on my face
We live on the most beautiful planet in the universe!
Tie me up, I can’t carry on any more
Joy and happiness are choking me
Everything’s so perfect that it screeches like the tyres of my new
car
Aaaaahh! At last God has heard our prayers
Such a beautiful country!
Such a rich culture!
Such a wonderful system!
It’s too much. Kill me,
someone
I want to let everything go
I want someone to launch me into space
I want to escape way beyond our solar system
With a gun in my hand tonight and tomorrow be no more
I’ve got no pity at all for the old granny believing in her God
No pity at all for the bloke in his suit and tie dying in conformity
No pity at all for that woman fighting for recognition
No pity at all for that child who’ll become a monster in our image
I’ve got no pity at all for anyone
Why should I take pity on you?
Why do you deserve to live?
Why is your daughter’s life worth more than the lives of 7 billion
other parasites on this planet?
Do you think I give a toss about your dog, your cat or your
goldfish?
All you’ve ever done all my life is to make me sick
Oh, you were capable of finer feelings
Of loving your neighbour
But it’s a bit late to prove it
If you haven’t already done it, you never will
You’re incapable of understanding, of good deeds or of love
I won’t be a hypocrite, won’t hide away to say what I think
When the bomb went off, I was on the front line
When the time came, I was the one who lit the fuse
You never wept for my dead, I won’t weep for yours
You are the catalyst of this terrorism
A Serious Problem with Authority
Ever since I was born you’ve told me what I should do with myself
I’ve never been free to take the slightest little decision
And if I once stood up to tell you I wouldn’t do something
Once just walked away to do something else
That something else soon became your Plan B
I went on doing whatever you wanted me to do
And you wonder why I hate authority
Why I don’t take kindly to criticism
Why I can’t stand people telling me what to do
It’s because you’ve planted these powerful authority figures
everywhere
At every level of my existence
Some sort of authority is fencing me in
Checking up on me, spying on what I do
And if I object, however feebly, an army descends on me
An army of parents, teachers, supervisors, directors, priests
Psychologists, policemen, soldiers, agents of all sorts of outfits
What counts is order, conformity’s the thing, total peace without
compromise
Well, I’m telling you I’m not the one who has a problem with
authority
Too many people have too much authority over everyone else in the
world
Don’t be surprised when everything blows up in your face
When someone suddenly pulls a gun and fires it among you at random
You were asking for it and you’ll find it yet
I’m Going to Find Myself a Whore
Beautiful slave of this world
Preferably blonde
Not too old
Between twelve and fifteen
A virgin if possible
Wearing high heels
Already in a mess
And dependent on hard drugs
Don’t you dream too?
Have an extraordinary longing to get out of your rut?
A destiny to fulfil?
A desire to change the world?
Well then you’ve found me
I’m your whore
Beautiful slave of this world
Still a virgin
I’m a surprise
A romantic dinner before screwing
Candles burning all night long
Fireworks blowing up in your face
I’m going to find myself a whore
She’ll be dark
She’ll be old
She’ll be dirty
You’ve found me
I’m your whore
Beautiful slave of this world
In a firework display blowing up in your face
I’m Your Inflatable Virgin Mary
Blasphemy!
Screw me!
I give myself to you entirely
Isn’t that what you wanted?
Screw me!
Blasphemy!
I’ll give birth to Christ the all-powerful
That shit will emerge from my guts
To destroy everything it meets on its way
Cause wars in the world
Blasphemy!
That’ll be the fruit of this bottomless hole, endless suffocation
Dead men on top of me, blood all over the universe
Screw me!
So that Christ in his turn can screw
The whole world
Bogged down in this muddy marsh
This thick fog
Blasphemy!
The ways of God are impenetrable
Screw me!
The new improved Virgin Mary
Who spawns hell on Earth
For thousands of years
Until there’s a perfect being
A Super Being
Christ decomposed to humanity’s tune
We’ve achieved the new age
Of a frustrated virgin
Who gave birth to the end of the world
The ways of God are impenetrable
Blasphemy!
I know the name of God
It’s a good bottle of brandy
That I drink at night in small mouthfuls
Before I come to understand his infinite wisdom
I know the name of God
It’s a good bottle of whisky
That I drink at night in large mouthfuls
Before I come to understand his infinite strength
I know the name of God
It’s a good bottle of Scotch
That I drink at night in large glasses
Before I come to understand his infinite ability
I know the name of God
It’s an endless series of cans of beer
That I drink at night till I can drink no more
Before I come to understand the incomprehensible
We’ll all be dead within a few years
It was written in the sky
Every single lunatic predicted it
We will destroy ourselves
How can it be any other way?
We’ve been working at it for years
Everything we do and say
Alienate the whole world
We have forgotten all about diplomacy
For one good reason
Diplomacy never worked
And diplomacy will never work
So what about the sound of my canons?
Or I could just drop a few missiles
And get a few tanks on their way
A nice nuclear bomb with that?
You thought alienation was a problem
We alienate them, they go to war
They alienate us, we go to war
It’s a vicious circle
We alienate them
They freak out
They don’t respond to diplomacy
We eradicate them
So they armed themselves, they become terrorists
They kill us, we are even more alienated
So we go there and finish the job
We might as well finish it for real
Life can be so simple sometimes
We just cannot make the right and final decision
That is required to stop the alienation
Just destroy the whole damn humanity!
So we can finally live in peace
I Could Pretend To Be The Devil
I could pretend I’m a young lad
Still virginal in every sense of the word
Who has never made love and is desperate
Who cries every night in his room
I could pretend I’m an anarchist
At the head of an organisation about to murder a whole lot of
people
Because I’ve never lived and I’m desperate
Plotting alone every night in my basement
I could pretend to be a maniac
Who has raped more than one madwoman
Made love with the entire planet
And could meet you any night in a dark alley
I could pretend to be a madman
Who has killed several important people
Who kills every night, even in his sleep
And every night targets his next victim
I could pretend to be God the Father, creator of heaven and earth
Who plays games with other people’s fate
Letting them be born, controlling them, killing them as he sees fit
And every seven days creating another hell on earth
But as long as I’m only pretending
Can you arrest me? Imprison
me? Banish me? Execute me?
You have no proof because there is no proof
I’m just like the boy next door
But with an unbounded imagination
And for you, that’s disturbing