Speedy, Meri & Me Martha Rose Crow

ACT 1-CREDITS AND INTRODUCTION

 

FADE IN TO WHITE GRAPHICS IN THE MIDDLE OF A BLACK SCREEN

 

"Based on a True Story"

 

FADE OUT FOR THREE SECOND PAUSE

 

FADE IN TO LONG SHOT:

 

A HOT, SUMMER EVENING IN LEIDSE PLEIN, AMSTERDAM. HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE WEARING CLOTHES

FROM THE EARLY 1980'S WALK THROUGH OR LINGER. THE PLACE IS ALIVE WITH ACTIVITY AND THERE IS

A CARNIVAL ATMOSPHERE.

 

ZOOM IN AND FOLLOW:

 

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CROWD, THERE ARE TWO MEN MAKING THEIR WAY THROUGH. THREE WOMEN

DRESSED LIKE HIPPIE CHICKS ARE WITH THEM. ONE OF THE MEN IS TALL AND WHITE. HE HAS A

PIERCED EAR AND A LONG, STIFF MOHAWK HAIRCUT PAINTED GREEN. HE IS DRESSED IN TIGHT JEANS

AND WEARS A PUNCH ROCKER T SHIRT WITH SIOUXSIE AND THE BANSHEES ON IT. THE OTHER MAN IS

TALL AND BLACK. HE IS BALD AND HE WEARS A THICK GOLD RING IN EACH EAR. HE IS DRESSED IN A

PLAIN, SIMPLE, SLEEVELESS T SHIRT, CHEAP COTTON TENNIS SHOES AND SHORTS CUT OFF AT THE

KNEES. THE MEN ARE CARRYING CARDBOARD BOXES WITH EMPTY WINE BOTTLE IN THEM. THE WOMEN

CARRY BASKETS AND BOTTLES OF LAMP OIL.

 

FADE IN GRAPHICS AT THE BOTTOM OF SCENE:

 

"Amsterdam, 1983"

 

GROUP SHOT:

 

THE FIVE PEOPLE IN THE SQUARE FIND THE PLACE THEY ARE LOOKING FOR AND BEGIN TO SET UP.

 

FADE OUT:

 

FADE IN:

CLOSE SHOT-CITY STREET-EARLY EVENING. CAMERA LOOKS THROUGH THE WINDOW OF A

MIDDLEAGED WOMAN RIDING IN THE

BACK OF THE POLICE CAR. SHE WEARS 'HIPPIE' TYPE WIRE RIM

SUNGLASSES THAT ARE VERY DARK. SHE LOOKS VERY ANGRY AND OUTRAGED. SCENE OF A SMALL,

MIDWEST CITY ENCASED IN SNOW ARE REFLECTED IN THE SHINY WINDOW.

 

FADE IN GRAPHICS AT THE BOTTOM OF SCENE:

 

"January 10, 2001

Saint Cloud, Minnesota"

 

CAMERA FOLLOWS REFLECTED SCENES IN WINDOW. THESE SCENES INCLUDE HOUSES WITH SNOW ON

THEIR ROOFS AND TREES WITH SNOW ON THEIR BOUGHS. AND THEN PAUSES UNTIL THE POLICE CAR

DRIVES AWAY. CAMERA FOLLOWS THE CAR AT A DISTANCE UNTIL IT PULLS INTO THE EMERGENCY

ENTRANCE AT OF A HOSPITAL. CAMERA PANS TO SIGN THAT SAYS "SAINT CLOUD HOSPITAL "

 

MEDIUM SHOT-THE POLICE CAR:

 

THE TWO POLICE OFFICERS GET OUT OF THE CAR. BOTH ARE WHITE MALES AND THE DRIVER IS A

SERGEANT. THEY GO TO THE PASSENGER SIDE OF THE CAR AND OPEN THE DOOR. THEY MOTION FOR

THE WOMAN TO GET OUT. SHE IS NOT HANDCUFFED. AS SHE GETS OUT, THEY TRY TO GRAB HER ARMS.

 

CAMERA MOVES IN TIGHTER TO THE WOMAN:

 

DIVA (defiantly and authoritatively) I told you, don't put your hands on me. No man is ever going to touch me in a bad way

again.

 

NOTE: ALL SPOKEN WORDS ARE SUBTITLED IN THE COMEDY SO IT CAN PLAY TO DUTCH AND

ENGLISH-SPEAKING AUDIENCES. IF ENGLISH IS SPOKEN, THEN IT IS SUBTITLED IN DUTCH AND VICE

VERSA FOR WHEN DUTCH IS SPOKEN.

 

 

CAMERA FOLLOWS: THE POLICEMEN BACK OFF, BUT FOLLOW HER

CLOSELY AS THEY USHER HER INTO THE EMERGENCY ROOM AND THROUGH A MAZE OF HALLS UNTIL

SHE IS PUT IN A SPECIAL ROOM.

 

CAMERA MOVES TO THE CEILING AND CORNER OF THE ROOM TO WATCH THE WOMAN.

 < /DT>

A FEMALE GUARD COMES IN AND MAKES THE WOMAN UNDRESS. FROM THE DISTANCE, THE WOMAN

REMOVES HER SKIRT AND SHIRT AND IS LEFT IN HER SLIP. SHE PUTS ON THE HOSPITAL CLOTHES THE

GUARD HAS BROUGHT HER. SHE SAYS SOMETHING TO THE GUARD AND THE GUARD NODS IN

SYMPATHY AND AGREEMENT.

 

CAMERA ZOOMS IN FROM CORNER OF THE ROOM AS THE GUARD LEAVES THE ROOM WITH THE

WOMAN'S CLOTHING:

 

MEDIUM SHOT AS THE WOMAN SHAKES HER HEAD IN DISGUST. SMALL TEAR STAINS ARE BARELY

VISIBLE ON HER CHEEKS.

 

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

LONG SHOT FROM THE AIR THAT TURNS INTO A MEDIUM SHOT OF THE TWO MEN-LEIDSE PLEIN. THE

MEN ARE SITTING ON THE BRICK GROUND, SCRATCHING LABELS OFF THE WINE BOTTLES WITH KNIVES

WHILE THE WOMEN WAIT CLOSE BY. PEOPLE IN THE CROWD START TO WATCH SPEEDY AND SNIPER

GET THE BOTTLES READY.

 

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

MEDIUM SHOT OF WOMAN SITTING ON AN EXAMINATION BED. HER POSTURE SAYS THAT SHE HAS BEEN

WAITING IN THE ROOM FOR A LONG TIME

CAMERA PANS RIGHT TO THE DOOR. CLOSEUP OF HANDLE AS IT BEGINS TO TURN

ZOOM OUT AND UP AS THE DOOR OPENS WIDE ENOUGH TO SEE THE FEMALE DOCTOR-CAMERA

FOLLOWS HER

THE DOCTOR IS ABOUT 52 AND HER HAIR IS PINNED UP. SHE HAS A KIND FACE AND WEARS A WHITE

HOSPITAL COAT. SHE LOOKS INTO THE WOMAN'S CLEAR EYES BEFORE SHE SITS ON A STOOL NEXT TO

THE EXAMINATION TABLE.

 

MEDIUM SHOT ZOOM TO CLOSE-UP

 

DOC (compassionately) Do you want to tell me what's going o n?

 

CAMERA PANS FROM DOCTOR TO DIVA, CLOSE SHOT

 

DIVA(takes a quick breath before she speaks) This is a set up. The police brought me here to terrorize me. I was going to

complain about one of their officers.

 

CAMERA ZOOMS OUT SOFTLY TO FOLLOW DIVA AS SHE GETS OFF TABLE AND BEGINS TO PACE IN A

SMALL AREA

 

QUICK SHOT TO DOCTOR

 

DOC Go on.

 

CAMERA BACK TO DIVA

 

DIVA You're not going to believe it.

 

DOC Tell me your story first. Then I'll tell you if I believe it or not.

 

DIVA Okay. I'll try to tell it in a nutshell. (Paces more before she sits down again). I called the police today because I thought I

was in danger. See, my husband stayed home today to punish me. Those were his words, "punish me." He's always punishing

me.

 

DOC How does he punish you?

 

DIVAWell, it's the middle of winter in Minnesota and he turned t he heat off. He said I that I didn't deserve to be warm. He

stopped buying food because he said I didn't deserve to eat.

 

DOC (with surprise, disgust and interest) What did you do?

 

DIVA I put on more clothes and ate at the Salvation Army.

 

DOC How was he going to punish you today?

 

DIVA I didn't know and I didn't want to find out. That is how the whole thing started. I knew better, but I called the police,

anyway. They sent out a police officer that is obviously a misogynist. As soon as he came through the do or, not only did he side

with my husband, but he attacked me with my husband.

 

DOCWhy did the police officer do that?

 

DIVA My husband told the policeman that I refused to help him financially. He told him that I was lazy because I wouldn't

work at a convenience store or at McDonald's. He told the officer that I was "too good" to get my hands dirty like he and the

officer had to when they worked. That I was a "picky princess" and was waiting for the perfect job when everyone knows they

don't give good jobs to women like me.

 

CAMERA FOLLOWS DIVA AS SHE GETS OFF THE TABLE TO PACE A LITTLE

 

CAMERA PANS TO A CLOSEUP OF DOCTOR

 

DOC (with interest and sympathy) Go on . . .

 

CLOSEUP OF DIVA

 

DIVA Then the officer started telling me how there were jobs all over. That the media and the government said so all the time on

television. (Hesitates for a moment). I asked him where all these jobs were, but he didn't know.

 

(Shaking her head) No one knows. They don't exist. It's all propagan da to turn us against each other and for society to blame us

for failing to prosper. This only angered the cop. He said that I was mentally ill because there had to be something wrong with

me because he insisted that there were jobs "everywhere" and that if I really wanted to help my husband that I would take

anything I could get.

 

DOC What kind of work do you want to do?

 

DIVA Anything that is interesting. I earned that right.

 

DOC How?

 

DIVAI graduated four universities with degrees in diverse fields. I'm also a teacher. I work as a substitute teacher for eleven

school districts and five Catholic schools in Central Minnesota and I am lucky if I get one day of work a week. (Begins to laugh

to herself) I told the police officer that, too.

 

DOC What did he say?

 

DIVAHe said that I really must be crazy because the media always says there is a teacher's shortage. (Looks seriously at the

doctor) The media is lying to us. There is no abundance of jobs and there is no teachers' shortage. Some of my friends are better

teachers than I am and they've never had a permanent teaching job since they got out of college over ten years ago.

 

Anyway, the policeman didn't believe me and called me a liar. He insisted that I had to be mentally ill or have some kind of

terrible defect, because, he insisted, "there were jobs everywhere" if I knew how to act like a real woman.

 

DOC (sitting up and leaning forward, speaking in horrified tone) What did you tell him?

 

DIVAI told him FUCK YOU, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO ABUSE ME WITH HIM ANY LONGER. (Gets back on the

examination table and chuckles to herself). That's probably the biggest reason why I am sitting here. I grabbed my coat and

walked out. I went to the women's shelter. My colleague is the director. I went there to tell her what had happened and for help. I

wanted to file charges against the officer. The shelter staff called the police station to ask why the officer had done what he did.

The officer's sergeant and another cop came down to the shelter and forced me to come here.

 

DOC Are you going to stay at the shelter?

 

DIVA (angrily) No way. Sam wasn't there and the shelter advocates turned me over to them without a warrant or a decent

r eason. That is against the law, but they did it. I don't trust them. Even if I stayed there, I would only get to stay there thirty days

and then I would have to live at the homeless shelter because teaching one day a week doesn't pay for an efficiency apartment.

There's just no work for middleaged women. Because I was born a poor woman, I am going to end up homeless and broke no

matter where I go. I'd rather be homeless where people don't know me.

 

DOC (sympathetically) What are you going to do?

 

DIVAI'm going to leave my husband. I'm going to go live somewhere else and see if I can make a life away from this v iolent one

I've known here.

 

DOC Where are you going?

 

DIVA I'm going back to the "Old Country" where my ancestors came from 250 years ago.

 

DOC What country is that?

 

DIVA Holland.

 

FADE OUT

FADE IN LEIDSE PLEIN

 

CROWD IS GATHERING AROUND THE TWO MEN AS THEY BEGIN TO BREAK THE BOTTLES. CAMERA PANS

THE CROWD FROM LEFT TO RIGHT BEFORE S LOWLY ZOOMING IN ON SPEEDY AND SNIPER.

 

FADE OUT

FADE IN SAINT CLOUD HOSPITAL ROOM, CLOSEUP SHOT OF DOCTOR

 

DOC(looking at papers in hospital folder) Do you want to tell me about angels?

 

DIVA(looks puzzled for a moment until she remembers with a smile) I understand what you mean, now. My husband told the

police officer about my story about angels. I saw a whole sky full of them when I

was a child. Another reason why the officer said I was crazy. He doesn't believe that people can see angels.

 

< FONT COLOR="#000000">DOC(with belief) When you see angels, they always stay with you. They never leave you.

 

DIVA I saw thousands that day.

 

DOC Then there are thousands with you.

 

DIVA (with a smile) That's a happy thought.

 

DOC (with tears in her eyes) You shouldn't be here.

 

DIVA I know.

 

DOCI'm releasing you. The police should never have done this. You do not deserve to be treated like this. (Kindly) Can I hug

yo u?

 

DIVA (with a bigger smile) I'd like that. (They hug)

 

FADE OUT

FADE IN TO LEIDSE PLEIN

CAMERA WATCHES SPEEDY AND SNIPER SPREAD THE BROKEN PIECES OF GLASS FROM THE WINE

BOTTLES ON TWO TARPS.

 

FADE OUT

FADE IN TO THE MINNEAPOLIS AIRPORT

GRAPHICS AT THE BOTTOM FADE IN:

"JANUARY 26, 2001

(FIVE DAYS AFTER GEORGE W. BUSH IS INAUGURATED AS PRESIDENT)"

 

 

CAMERA LOOKS INTO THE CROWD UNTIL IT FINDS DIVA AND FOCUSES ON HER. BEGINS TO WATCH AT

A DISTANCE WHILE DIVA WALKS QUICKLY CARRYING HER I-MAC IN ONE HAND AND ANGEL WINGS IN A

BIG PLASTIC BAG WITH THE OTHER HAND. SHE ALSO HAS A

BRIEFCASE AND PURSE SLUNG ON HER SHOULDERS. SONG "GREAT ESCAPE" BEGINS TO PLAY. HER

LONG HAIR FLIES AS SHE WALKS DETERMINEDLY WITH HER THINGS.

 

FADE OUT

FADE IN TO LEIDSE PLEIN-IT HAS GOTTEN DARK OUTSIDE

 

LONG-SHOT FOL LOWED BY CLOSEUPS OF SPEEDY AND SNIPER AS THEY STAND ON THE BROKEN GLASS

ON THE TARPS. CAMERA SLOWLY ZOOMS OUT UNTIL SPEEDY AND SNIPER ARE IN THE FRAME. FACING

EACH OTHER, THEY HOLD A TORCH UP TO THEIR LIPS. TOGETHER, THEY SPIT A GIANT FIREBALL THAT

FILLS UP MOST OF THE FRAME. THE FRAME OF FIRE FREEZES AND GRAPHICS FADE IN TO READ:

 

"SPEEDY, MERI & ME"

 

 

LAP DISSOLVE TO BEGINN ING CREDITS WHILE THE SONG BECOMES LOUDER. SPEEDY AND SNIPER

CONTINUE TO SPIT FIRE, EACH TIME THE FRAME OF THE FLAMES IS FROZEN AND ANOTHER LAP

DISSOLVE FOR CREDITS APPEARS UNTIL ALL THE IMPORTANT CREDITS HAVE BEEN DISPLAYED AND THE

MUSIC WINDS DOWN.

 

FADE OUT

FADE IN TO THE SKYLINE OF ALKMAAR, THE NETHERLANDS. THE LEAVES ON THE TREES TELL THE

AUDIENCE THAT IT'S SPRING. THE CAMERA SHOWS MANY SCENES OF DUTCH PEOPLE MOVING ABOUT

IN THE DAY UNTIL IT COMES TO GEESTRAAT. SOME CARRY FLOWERS WITH THEM. PEOPLE ON BICYCLES,

PEOPLE WALKING. A COUPLE ARE MUSLIM WOMEN WITH THEIR HAIR COVERED IN SCARVES.

HUMANITY OF EVERY KIND AND COLOR IS MOVING THROUGH THE DAY.

 

CLOSE-SHOT, STATIONARY FROM ABOVE THE BRICK SIDEWALK. ALL KINDS OF DIFFERENT SHOES COME

BY INCLUDING SOMEONE IN KLUMPENS.

 

MEDIUM SHOT AS CAMERA LOOKS STRAIGHT INTO PEOPLE WALKING TOWARDS IT. TWO MEN PASS BY,

THEN A MOTHER AND A CHILD. DIVA IS BEHIND THEM AND HER IMAGE BECOMES FOCUSED AS SHE

WALKS INTO THE CAMERA. DIVA IS TALL AND BIG WITH LONG, FLYING HAIR AND DARK, PRESCRIPTION

SUNGLASSES. HER NOSE IS PIERCED WITH A SMALL, GOLD STUD AND HER EARS ARE PIERCED TWICE IN

EACH EAR. SHE WEARS LONG, DANGLING EARRINGS WITH SUNS ON THEM AND SMALL STUDS. SHE

WEARS A LONG SHIRT, A T-SHIRT THAT SAYS 'DIVA' AND A BACKPACK WITH A SMALL NEDERLANDSE

FLAG SEWN ON IT. WHEN SHE WALKS BY THE CAMERA, IT BEGINS TO FOLLOW HER UNTIL SHE STOPS

AND LOOKS IN THE WINDOW OF A BAKERY.

 

DIVA (her voice narrates as her character looks wishfully in the window where many slagroom cakes are displayed) The Dutch

have the most wonderful cakes. They're made out of slagroom which is some kind of whipped cream. Anyway, they don't have

them in America. At least I never saw any. (Sighs)

 

CAMERA FOLLOWS DIVA'S EYES TO A CAKE IN THE CORNER. IT HAS ALL KINDS OF GLAZED FRUIT ON

TOP OF IT.

 

See that cake in the corner? That's the one I want. It's called Fruit Fantasy and someday I am going to have one. I wish I could

have it now, but I am too poor. But one of these days, (determined voice) I'm going to have one.

 

CAMERA FOLLOWS DIVA AFTER SHE IS FINISHED WISHING. SHE WALKS DOWN A SIDEWALK CLOSE IN A

NEIGHBORHOOD CLOSE TO THE RAILROAD STATION.

 

DIVA (voice narrates as she starts to walk again) My name is Diva and I live in one of the coolest places on the planet. In a way,

it's like living in an alternate universe from the life I had before.

 

(Keeps walking down the street and looks around) I live in North Holland in a city called Alkmaar. It was fate that I found such

a unique place. I've been to some of the hippest places in America-

LA, Berkeley, San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Chicago, New York

and of course, Minneapolis, and this place rocks t he most. What's the secret of this place? It's the people.

 

(Diva stops to look around) I live in this old Dutch neighborhood with all its idiosyncracies and ironies. (Diva looks ahead to

the green grocer's little store/winkle. A couple of old ladies, a young mother with a baby in a carriage, and three women between

20-35 a are stopped in front of the store, pretending to look at the fruit displayed outside when they are secretly trying to look

inside)

 

That cute young guy with the long hair must be working. Most of the guys around here-the ones who have hair-have long hair.

But

 

 

this guy has hair past his ass. He's cute, too, and wears these jeans that look like someone painted them on him . . .(Chuckles to

herself) I think I have enough money to buy some fruit.

 

AS SHE WALKS TOWARD THE STORE, SHE STOPS AND THE CAMERA STOPS. A YOUNG GUY WITH A GREAT

BODY AND LONG HAIR COMES OUT OF THE STORE WITH A BOX OF PEARS. HE REACHES OVER TO PICK

UP THE DISPLAY BOX. ALL THE WOMEN WATCH HIS MUSCLES AND HIS ASS WHILE HIS HAIR FLIES A

LITTLE IN THE WIND.

 

DIVA(laughing to herself) He's such a tease and he knows it. All us women know that he can't be heterosexual. I've never met

any man that good looking that wasn't gay. Still, he's fun to watch.

 

CUTE YOUNG GUY TURNS AROUND AND GIVES DIVA A BIG SMILE. SHE RETURNS IT WITH A BIGGER ONE.

THE LADIES AROUND HER LOOK A LITTLE JEALOUS.

 

LONG SHOT OF DIVA WALKING AWAY.

 

DIVA (happily) I had better get out of here before I get into trouble.

 

CAMERA FOLLOWS DIVA AS SHE TURNS LEFT INTO A SMALL DUTCH STREET OFF THE MAIN ONE. OLD

ROW HOUSES, DIFFERENT SIZES AND AGES LINE THE NARROW STREET ON EACH SIDE. THERE ARE MANY

CATS OF ALL COLORS AND SIZES. DIVA STOPS TO PET ONE SUNNING ITSELF OF A CAR. SHE TURNS

RIGHT TO ANOTHER SMALL STREET AND WALKS TO A SMALL PASSAGE BETWEEN HOUSES. IT'S AN

ALLEY AND SHE FOLLOWS IT TO THE END WHERE THERE IS A GARAGE. SHE OPENS THE GARAGE WITH A

KEY AND GOES INSIDE. SPEEDY IS THERE FIXING A BICYCLE.

 

SPEEDY HAS LONG REDDISH-BLONDE DREADLOCKS IN A PONYTAIL AND IS WEARING A T-SHIRT THAT

SAYS "A IS FOR ANARCHY." HIS BODY IS LONG, LE AN AND FIT. HIS ARMS ARE HEAVILY TATTOOED WITH

PUNK ROCKER AND REGGAE TATTOOS AND HE WEARS A GOLD EARRING IN HIS RIGHT EAR.

 

PICTURES OF DOWNHILL BICYCLE RACERS ARE HUNG UP ALL OVER THE WALLS OF THE GARAGE.

 

SPDYDiva! (Hugs and kisses her) You're very late and I heard an ambulance. You know I always worry about you. Why are

you late? (Notices something) Where is your bike?

 

DIVA(fishing something out of her backpack-produces a broken bike pedal and shows it to Speedy) They don't work very well

without both of these (throws it in trash can ).

 

SPDY (shrugs) Where did you leave it?

 

DIVABy the watertower where it came off. I walked back the rest of the way.

 

SPDY We'll go get it later and I'll fix it for you.

 

DIVA Good. I need my bike and I need it to work.

 

SPDY Did you get the job?

 

DIVA(nods her head no and her face shows disappointment) He wanted someone to clean topless. Not only that, he was going

to give me five euros less because my tits aren't as good as a younger girls.

 

SPDY (concerned) You didn't show him them, did you?

 

DIVA (laughing) No. You know that I would never do that.

 

SPDY Sounds like a job Meri might like.

 

DIVA (laughing) I know. Speaking of her, where is she?

 

SPDY I don't know. She said she had an appointment and left an hour ago.

(Smiling) That is why I was waiting. (Wiggles eyebrows and brushes her hair back with his hand). We've got some time to be

alone.

 

DIVABut what about my bike? You know how they like to steal them around here.

 

SPDY It doesn't have a pedal.

 

DIVA(smiling) True. I guess it can wait. Like I said, they don't work too well without one. I chained it to a fence. It should be

okay.

 

SPDY (wiggles eyebrows again) Want to go play?

 

DIVA (shrugs and smiles happily) Sure, why not?

 

SPEEDY AND DIVA WALK OUT OF THE GARAGE HOLDING HANDS, INTO A TINY GARDEN, ENCLOSED BY

WALLS ON EACH SIDE.

 

THUNDER IS HEARD IN THE BACKGROUND AND IT BEGINS TO RAIN.

SPEEDY AND DIVA GO INSIDE A VERY SMALL, OLD DUTCH HOUSE.

 

 

 

Screenplay Table of Contents	Act Two
Copyright Page	HOME