Speedy, Meri & Me Martha Rose Crow

 

ACT 11-MIC'S ON

 

TWO-SHOT OF DIVA AND MERI GETTING OFF THEIR BIKES AT HASHOE'S HOUSE IN THE AFTERNOON.

DIVA IS RIDING HER 'HAPPY FACE' BIKE. THEY L OCK THEIR BIKES AND GO INSIDE.

 

DIVA (narrating) Meri and me when to see Hashoe one morning. Speedy had an appointment to see a friend and he was going

to meet us there later. Hashoe ran out of beer and had to go to the store get some. He also had to buy some time for his cell

phone. Hashoe told us to wait for him and that he would be back as soon as he was done with his errands.

 

THREE-SHOT OF HASHOE, MERI AND ME IN HASHOE'S LIVING ROOM. HE TAKES SOME MARIJUANA OUT

OF A COFFEE CAN AND GIVES IT TO MERI.

 

HASH Here, roll one while I am away .

 

MERI (smiling happily) Be dankt.

 

DIVA Thanks, Hashoe.

 

ONE-SHOT OF HASHOE LEAVING.

 

HASH Doie!

 

DIVA Doie!

 

MERI Do, Doie!

 

CAMERA SEES HIM GET ON HIS MOPED THROUGH THE WINDOW AND SEES HIM LEAVE.

 

TWO-SHOT OF MERI AND ME AS MERI ROLLS A JOINT.

 

DIVA (smiling) At least we have something to do while he is gone.

 

MERI (laughing) That was really nice of him.

 

TWO-SHOT OF MERI AND ME SMOKING THE JOINT.

 

DIVA Do you think we should turn some music on?

MERI Nee, I think we should leave it alone.

 

DIVAYou're right. But it's so quiet here. Hey. . . We're alone. We've got a chance to talk privately for once.

 

MERI(laughing) You're right. What can we talk about while the guys are away?

 

DIVA What we usually talk about. Men and sex. That's what men talk about when they are alone: women and sex.

 

MERI (laughing) That's true.

 

CAMERA ZOOMS INTO A RED BUTTON ON THE STEREO.

 

DIVA(narrating) Neither one of us knew that Hashoe's little radio station was on the air.

 

ONE-SHOT OF DIVA.

 

DIVA Are you going back to see the lady you stayed with?

 

ONE-SHOT OF MERI.

 

MERI (teasing) Which one?

 

TWO-SHOT OF MERI AND ME.

 

DIVA (teasing back) The tall black one with the beautiful body.

 

MERI(smiling) I'm thinking about it. Elena was beautiful and sweet. She is from Brazil.

 

DIVA An Amazon from the Amazon?

 

MERI (smiling) Something like that.

 

DIVA You like tall, big, muscular women like that?

 

MERII like all kinds of women. Sometimes, a woman needs another woma n's touch.

 

DIVANot every woman. Not this woman. I love women, but I don't want to fuck them.

 

MERI I want to fuck them. I love it when a woman touches me.

 

DIVA Don't you worry that you might catch a disease because she fucks all those men?

 

MERI Why should I? She uses condoms like I do. Besides, I used to fuck as many men as she does. (Laughing) I probably

fucked more. I was pretty popular in my day.

 

TWO-SHOT OF MEN FISHING ON THE SINGEL. ONE REACHES OVER TO TURN THE KNOB OF THE RADIO

UP. THE SOUND OF THE TWO WOMEN TALKING GETS LOUDER.

 

TWO-SHOT OF MERI AND ME.

 

DIVA How many guys do you think you fucked in your life?

 

MERI You asked me that before. What is this, an interview?

 

DIVAI'm a writer. You know how I am. I want to understand the world better, especially from a woman's perspective.

 

MERI (laughing) I don't know how many men or women I've fucked.

 

TWO-SHOT OF MOTHER NURSING HER BABY IN A ROCK ING CHAIR IN A DUTCH HOME SOMEWHERE. SHE

IS LISTENING INTENTLY TO MERI AND ME.

 

TWO-SHOT OF MERI AND ME.

 

MERIAnd I don't want to know. I just fucked them, came and got my money.

 

DIVA You came with your customers?

 

GROUP-SHOT OF DUTCH MEN IN A BAR LISTENING TO SONIC FM.

 

ONE-SHOT OF MERI.

 

MERI Of course I came (laughing) unless they came right away.

 

DIVA (laughing) So you weren't faking it, huh?

 

MERINever! And I made them pay me for coming. I like to fuck. You know that.

 

ONE-SHOT OF OLD LADY DRIVING HER CAR, LISTENING TO SONIC FM.

 

TWO-SHOT OF MERI AND ME.

 

DIVAI knew some prostitutes in America. They would never come for their customers let alone kiss them.

 

MERINot kiss them? All the prostitutes I know always kiss their clients. I have to kiss mine. I can't get wet if I don't.

 

ONE-SHOT OF FRANKIE LISTENING IN HIS FLAT. HE IS IN A T-SHIRT AND A PAIR OF BOXERS. HE STARTS

TO SHAKE HIS HEAD AND TRIES TO CALL ON HASHOE. HE DOESN'T GET AN ANSWER, SO HE PULLS HIS

PANTS ON AND GETS HIS KEYS.

 

TWO-SHOT OF DIVA AND MERI SMOKING JOINT.

 

DIVA Sounds like European prostitutes are friendlier.

 

MERI(laughing) They probably are. All I know is that men want to be kissed and touched. That is usually more important for

them than the sex. They just want to feel loved, even if it is only for a little while.

 

 

FRANKIE GETS ON HIS MOPED, TURNS THE KEY AND TAKES OFF.

 

TWO-SHOT OF DIVA AND MERI CONTINUE SMOKING JOINT.

 

DIVAIt seems to me that European men are nicer, although I've met a few real dogs here. Say, can you tell me something,

though?

 

MERI What now, Diva?

 

DIVA Do all Dutch guys have big dicks?

 

GROUP-SHOT OF POLICIE IN THE POLICE STATION LISTENING. EVERYTHING IS VERY QUIET.

 

TWO-SHOT OF MERI AND ME.

 

MERI (busts out laughing) Where did you come up with that opinion, Diva?

 

DIVA Speedy says he has a small one compared to his friends, but I think he has a very big one.

 

MERI How big is it?

 

TWO-SHOT OF MERI AND ME. CAMERA IS BEHIND DIVA SO IT OBSCURES HER MEASUREMENT WITH HER

HANDS.

 

DIVA This big.

 

REGULAR TWO-SHOT.

 

MERI That's pretty big.

 

DIVAI thought so! But Speedy insists that its small compared to everyone else around here. He said that Hashoe and most of

his boys have longer ones.

 

MERI (laughing) How does Speedy know this?

 

DIVAThose crazy fuckers had a contest one time. . . Funniest thing I ever heard. Speedy would kill me if I told anyone.

 

MERIDon't tell me about it! I want to sleep tonight and I don't need bad dreams. (Starts to laugh). No, wait, I've changed my

mind. I want to hear about their contest. (Laug hing) Who had the biggest one?

 

DIVA Hashoe. Speedy said it was this long . . .

 

TWO-SHOT OF MERI AND ME. CAMERA IS BEHIND DIVA SO IT OBSCURES HER MEASUREMENT WITH HER

HANDS.

 

TWO-SHOT OF MERI AND ME LAUGHING.

 

MERI That is really big, Diva!

 

DIVA (laughing) Is that your professional opinion?

 

MERI (laughing) That's my professional opinion.

 

ONE- SHOT OF FRANKIE WALKING IN AND TURNING OFF THE RADIO. THE RED LIGHT GOES OFF.

 

TWO-SHOT OF MERI AND ME LOOKING AT EACH OTHER WITH SURPRISE. THEY BEGIN TO LAUGH AGAIN.

 

DIVA (to Frankie) Was that on?

 

FRAN(wants to be pissed off, but doesn't know what to do) Ja. Everyone in Alkmaar heard everything (his eyes search Diva's)

 

DIVA Ooops.

 

MERI Ooops.

 

ONE-SHOT OF SPEEDY COMING THROUGH DOOR. MERI AND ME LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND WONDER IF

HE HEARD. HIS DEMEANOR SAYS THAT HE DIDN'T. MERI AND ME LOOK AT FRANKIE. THEIR DEMEANORS

SHOW THAT THEY ARE ASKING FRANKIE TO KEEP QUIET.

 

SPDY Where's Hashoe?

 

FOUR-SHOT.

 

MERI(smiling and acting as if nothing happened) He went to buy some beer. He should be back soon.

 

SPDYI came by to tell you that I'm going riding. It's a nice day, too nice to stay inside. I'm going to go to Schoorldam and jump

my bike a few times.

 

MERI That's sounds great. Want some company?

 

SPDY You want to learn to ride downhill today?

 

MERI(smiling as she looks at Frankie's blustered face) Sure. I think I would like it.

 

DIVA I think I'll come with you.

 

SPDY Do you have your camera? Want to come, Frankie?

 

FRAN(nodding head 'no') Nee, I think I'll wait here for Hashoe. I need to tell him about a change in radio programming (looks

hard at Diva and Meri).

 

MERI MAK ES A 'SHHH' SIGN TO FRANKIE. HE SHRUGS HARD. SPEEDY WALKS OUT TO HIS BIKE.

 

DIVA(gathering her coat and backpack up) Let's go (she and Meri leave).

 

THREE-SHOT OF SPEEDY, MERI AND ME AT THE FOREST IN SCHOORLDAM.

 

DIVA(narrating) This was the day Meri learned to ride a downhill bike. But first, Speedy had to show off.

 

ACTION 0NE-SHOT OF SPEEDY JUMPING HIS BIKE ALMOST AS HIGH AS THE TREETOPS.

 

MERI Damn! He's good. He reminds me of something I saw in a movie.

 

DIVAET. The movie was ET. The little kid was bicycling through the air. Kind of like what Speedy just did.

 

MERI (laughing) Something's missing, though.

 

DIVA The little basket on the handlebars with the little alien in it.

 

MERI (laughing) You're right.

 

ONE-SHOT OF SPEEDY GOING DOWN A STEEP, ROCKY HILL.

 

DIVA(narrating) Speedy showed Meri how to do it then he gave her his helmet and put the seat down so she could ride his bike.

 

THREE-SHOT OF SPEEDY, MERI AND ME. SPEEDY IS GIVING MERI HIS HELMET.

 

ONE-SHOT OF MERI AT TOP OF HILL GIVING SPEEDY A 'THUMBS-UP'. SHE RIDES DOWN THE HILL FAST

AND WELL.

 

DIVA(narrating) Meri was a natural athlete for this type of sport. Speedy was proud. He likes it when women do extreme

sports.

 

ONE-SHOT OF PROUD SPEEDY.

 

ONE-SHOT OF MERI AT TOP OF HILL, COMING DOWN AGAIN.

 

DIVA (narrating) Meri went down the steep hill again.

 

ONE-SHOT OF MERI CRASHING CLOSE TO THE BOTTOM.

 

DIVA (narrating) She crashed the second time.

 

TWO-SHOT OF SPEEDY AND ME RACING TO MERI. THREE-SHOT AS SPEEDY HELPS MERI UP. SHE TAKES

OFF HELMET.

 

SPDY Are you okay, Meri?

 

MERI(laughing as she brushes off the dirt and leaves off of her clothes) Ja, Speedy, it was just a little crash. Nothing major.

DIVA (worried) But are you hurt, Meri?

 

MERINee, Diva. Don't worry so much a bout me. I used to be a gymnast and falling is part of the sport (brushing dirt of elbows

and arms). This is nothing. (Puts helmet back on and points the bike up the hill). I think I'll try it again (before Speedy or Diva

can say anything, she is already going up the hill).

 

DIVA (narrating) So Meri went back up the hill.

 

ONE-SHOT OF MERI COMING DOWN THE HILL.

 

DIVA(narrating) And she came down fast and skillfully. She and Speedy took turns going down that hill for a couple hours

until they got tired. Afterwards, Speedy had to play in his band.

 

GROUP-SHOT OF RASTA KINGS WITH SPEEDY AS DRUMMER.

TWO-SHOT OF MERI AND ME DANCING.

 

DIVASo Hashoe or Frankie didn't tell him about Meri and Me's radio program. Meri and Me decided not to tell him unless he

asked.

 

TWO-SHOT OF MERI AND ME TALKING AT THE TABLE IN THE DANCEHALL AND COMING TO AN

AGREEMENT.

 

THREE-SHOT OF SPEEDY, MERI AND ME GETTING OFF THEIR BIKES AT HASHOE'S HOUSE AS THEY WALK

INTO THE HOUSE, THEY SEE ALL KINDS OF WOMEN. HASHOE HAS TWO SITTING ON HIS LAP. SPEEDY

GOES TO THE REFRIGERATOR TO GET THREE BEERS.

 

MERI They must have heard the broadcast (Meri and me begin to laugh).

 

DIVALook, Meri. There's one of those women I see hanging around the Green Grocer's waiting to see the Cute Guy with long

hair.

 

ONE-SHOT OF WOMAN TALKING TO FRANKIE.

 

TWO-SHOT OF DIVA AND FRANKIE.

 

FRAN Diva! Hashoe was really mad at you two!

 

DIVAIt's not like he was going to lose his radio license. He should have turned the radio transmitter off when he left. We didn't

know! Can't a person have any privacy to girl talk?

 

FRANIt's alright, Diva! Hashoe's not mad anymore since all these women started showing up!

 

DIVADo you think he will say anything to Speedy? Are you going to say anything to Speedy?

 

FRAN Me, nee! I'm having too much fun. (Looks at Hashoe with women still on his lap) Hashoe is too busy to say much. I'll

tell him later not to say anything (Diva nods in approval).

 

THREE-SHOT OF SPEEDY, MERI AND ME AS SPEEDY BRINGS THREE BEERS.

 

DIVA(narrating) If anyone ever told Speedy about Meri and Me's erotic broadcast, he never said a word.

 

DISSOLVE TO NEXT SCENE.

 

 

 

 

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