Working in Westminster

Intelligence not Required

 

 

 

 

By Roland Michel Tremblay

An insignificant sheep lost amongst the billions

 

 

44E The Grove, Isleworth, Middx, London, TW7 4JF, UK

020 8847 5586, 0794 127 1010

rm@themarginal.com  www.themarginal.com

 

 

 

 

Summary

 

 

Westminster’s Fever Part A

Working in Westminster Part B

I’m a West End Girl

I’m an East End Boy

Westminster No More

You are not Important Enough

Another Boring Day in Westminster

I Graduated, but Just

My Little Cousin

I’m Inspired Tonight

I am out of this world

I’ve become an undesirable

Am I alive?

Just admit it

Go ahead with your dreaming

Being stopped by love

I’m the Brain behind Westminster

Desperate People

Cockpit Steps

We were so naive

You’re so Perfect

Back Off Bitch!

I Hate Men

I’m a Westminster Icon

Dreaming on my Lunch Hour

I’m Such a Peaceful Fellow

I am not a Citizen

Another Panic Attack

I'm Useless

No Way Out

If alcohol did not exist

Trying to Connect

When I was a little boy

Describing the Heart of London

I bumped into the Prime Minister

Remaining true to oneself

Get inspired, if you can

Making History

I’m your Westminster’s Whore

He slept with a prostitute!

Should I vote Labour or Conservative?

Guilty!

Other White

Lady Di is Dead

Who will remember you in 20 years?

I’m Self-Centred

I’m worth more than any of you

Alien Nation

Love is an overrated meaningless concept

I’m still a Virgin

The Cynicism Paradox

My neighbours are bunkers

Surrounded by incompetence

Blogging things

Election Day

What sort of government would respect the law?

Warning! My fish has died

I’ve reached rock bottom

I am now a Satanist

You’re such a liar

It will be over faster than making coffee

Tea Time

Let’s exploit them all

The Master Bitch of Westminster

The most miserable human being on earth

Dear me, I’m working with Thatcher herself

The ODPM has failed again

You’re corrupt

I’ve gone mad!

Another Disciplinary

Oh yes, you’re history

King Henry the Eighth

Darkest Moments, Brightest Successes

Ideas of Greatness

Where’s that damn cancer?

Bombs under London

Do you think Londoners will leave London now?

More security in London, are you joking?

Brixton, the Pulse of the Nation

I’m not proud

The Corporation

Am I just fast food?

An insignificant sheep lost amongst the billions

I am in turmoil

My God! I’m a force of nature!

Imprisoned for treason

I want to be God!

Geniuses are killed before they’re born

I'm moving to L.A.!

I'm out of here!

Fuck Mummy! I will succeed!

Changing our Perspective

My year of hell in Westminster

In Between Days

It’s party time!

Did you ever exist?

I will fall flat on my face

I have resigned from Westminster

Hollywood, here I come!

 

 

 

 

Westminster’s Fever Part A

 

Oh Westminster

So much to answer for

I have been seduced

Now I could not picture my life without you

 You’re anything and everything

Symbol of life and hell

For the world to enjoy and suffer

See the end or the beginning of things

I will celebrate you

Forever and ever

 

Oh Westminster

So much to answer for

Wrong book, wrong time, wrong soul

How have I fell in love with you?

It is beyond understanding

It goes against every fibre in my body

And yet, I am here

To open my eyes and fall on my knees

And pray for your protection

Against the evil of this world

I must have been brainwashed

And yet, I am here every day

Hoping that you will be my salvation

 

Oh Westminster

So much to answer for

What are you really?

What do you hide behind so much history?

Who else is to come to make you powerful?

And will you ever die?

From you came unhappiness

From you came death

There’s no denying it

It is recorded everywhere for posterity

Yet, you mean so much to me

I need to be cured from this insane love affair

 

 

Working in Westminster Part B

 

9 O’clock rings at the Big Ben again

Are we Monday or Friday?

Today, been debating the new Building Regulations Part L addendum

About… boilers

All day

All week

All month

Seventy conferences

One hundred and twenty workshops

And I’m not exaggerating

Making the life of everybody a misery

I’m just gonna take a gun and shoot myself

 

12 O’clock rings at the Big Ben again

Can’t tell what day this is

Today, been debating Dispute Resolution, Arbitration, Adjudication

The hell of Construction and Engineering Law

Filled with land mines

Which cannot fail to explode in your face

In every single project

Delays, over budget, gold pot for every solicitor and barrister

Making the life of everybody a living hell

I’m just gonna take a gun and shoot them all

 

5 O’clock rings at the Big Ben again

I think it’s Saturday

I’m still at work

Today, energy, regeneration, development, environment

Regulations regulating till death

Sustainability! The new buzz word that means nothing

Don’t care about Global Warming, Global Dimming

Don’t give a shit about Asbestos

Making life not worth living

Free me! Free yourself!

Let me get out of Westminster for good!

Before I become the new law!

Before I start dictating the new regulations!

Before I rule this world!

 

Westminster

Before you take away our last dying breath

I’m just gonna take a gun and shoot you

 

 

I’m a West End Girl

 

My Dad came from Africa

Diplomatic things

I’ve been living in Oxford Circus all my life

In a flat paid by the British government

Everything within walking distance

Can’t stand working in Westminster

Not even a sandwich shop within a mile

Got to go to Victoria for that

No good for me

I’m a Mensa member, you understand

In the 2% superior race

93% Geek Girl

My brain’s about to crack

As I’m so intelligent

I’m the black sheep of the family

Don’t believe in religion

Don’t believe in the Right

Don’t believe in marriage

Don’t believe in anything really

I’m a West End girl you know

Proud of all that meaningless crap

Because it gives my life a meaning

Because otherwise I’m worthless

My hair is so shiny

My boobs are crying to get out all over your face

Am I worth meeting or what?

I run this place, I’ve been here for years

And you better understand me

Or I’ll destroy you

 

 

I’m an East End Boy

 

I’m just an Executive

I can’t speak

I can’t think

Yet I’m trying to impress the boss

Got to try to save my job

He’s the big bastard

About to sack everybody

I’m first on his list

I cannot stop thinking about my next pint

The next party

These never ending meetings bore me to death

Oh, I have to fight so hard to stay awake

God knows how I’ve been able to maintain myself in Westminster for so long

It must be clear to everyone that I don’t belong here

Must be because my Manager fancies me

No other explanation

Or else, in Westminster, no need for a brain

The scum of London ends up here

The ones incapable of accomplishing anything all day

No problems, intelligence is not required in Parliament Square

The bastard won’t succeed

I’ll still be working here when he’s gone

Mummy, I’ll make you proud

One day I’ll be the Manager

Even though I will still not know what it is

that I am supposed to do here

No problems

We’re in Westminster

Intelligent people need not apply

 

 

Westminster No More

 

Oh dear, I’m stressed to death

Tomorrow is back to Parliament Square

I would do anything not to go

I would wash your feet and clean your teeth

I would tuck you to bed and kiss your children like a good boy

I would do your dishes and your washing

I would do anything!

But please, please, please

Don’t let me go to Parliament Square ever again

 

Oh dear, my existential crisis has reached a critical stage

Tomorrow is back to the Big Ben

I will do anything not to go

I am quite prepared to stop writing and whinging

I will pretend that I have never existed

I will disappear somewhere

You will never hear from me again

I will do anything!

But please, please, please

Don’t let me go to the Big Ben ever again

 

Oh dear, I’m having a heart attack

Tomorrow is back to Westminster

I must do anything not to go

I must get out of this job

I must move any mountains along the way

I must become crazy

That’s my only way out, I’m afraid

No more begging

To not have to go back to Westminster

I must do insane things!

So you better watch out

Cos I am reaching the end of my tether

 

 

 

You are not Important Enough

 

Who are you?

That important, hey?

Sorry Sir, I had not realised

How important you are

The respect you deserve

Such accomplishments

Such a social status

So much money

Is that your car outside?

Were you not on the news yesterday?

Were you not in Iraq last week?

Yeah, yeah, I know you saved the world once again

I have heard of your deal

Common knowledge how great you are

Let me make you a coffee

Let me order you an egg sandwich

Let me wipe your bum

I meant, let me wipe your seat

Please sit here

My boss will be with you in a moment

Tell me, how’s the wife, the kids?

How is it going with the Palestine?

Any chance for peace in the next thousand years?

Sorry, yes Sir, I will mind my own business from now on

I will care only for things that are from my level of intelligence

Here is your coffee

Ah, your egg sandwich just arrived

The toilets are on the right, but they’re broken

No, four floors down for the next one

No time, sorry, my boss is ready for you

Don’t worry, so much shit comes out of your mouth most of the time

Perhaps you would care to shit from the right hole this time

It was a pleasure meeting you

Have a nice day Sir

 

 

Another Boring Day in Westminster

 

God!

The Prime Minister babbled some bollocks again about the war, yawn

The Chancellor or something tried to be as eloquent, useless

The Mayor is being accused of being anti-Semite, whatever

The Prince wants to marry his sweetheart, but it’s against the law

I thought the day would never end!

 

God!

The phone never stopped ringing

My boss never left his desk

The whores around me were in full swing

Flowers were delivered to Master Bitch

I thought the day would never end!

 

God!

The Creative department showed just how they don’t deserve their title

The Marketing department confirmed that they are not doing any marketing

The Sales department confirmed that they don’t exist

The COO caught me doing absolutely nothing

I thought the day would never end!

 

God!

A bug crossed my desk in about 10 full minutes

The Big Ben rang for half an hour for no reason

A cloud went across the sky, was wondering if it would finally snow

For a second there, I was certain my computer clock went backward

I thought the day would never end!

 

Just what I needed

Another boring day in Westminster

 

 

I Graduated, but Just

 

Any idiot could do that

The difference is I never attended any of my graduation ceremonies

Thank god!

But I guess the main reason is

I never graduated in anything worth attending

Let’s face it

Literature is worth nothing

A degree in that is the equivalent to a degree in refuse collection

I have about as much worth as a garbage man

Such a worthy title

I wish I could do just that

Collect garbage in Westminster all day long

At the very least I would be outside

Cursing you and your bin

Oh how I wish I was just nothing

I feel just like that anyway

One step further

Make me a garbage man

I have the degree

I have the diploma

I studied in University for 8 years

I must deserve anything I damn want

And what I want

Is to be nothing

With the right title

Your garbage man Madame

Your refuse collector Monsieur

To serve you

Please, thanks, bye bye

Next house

Next bin

Next life

 

 

I’m Inspired Tonight

 

I’m inspired tonight

And that means everything

Cos I haven’t been inspired much lately

 

Blame it on the daily job in Westminster

Blame it on the uninspired people I have to deal with everyday

Insignificant people who are just waiting for their day to die

Making sure they get everyone in their wave

To die with them without leaving any mark on this planet whatsoever

 

How many times must I fall into these crowds

Of already dead people

Living an empty life

Concerned with only futilities

Incapable of seeing globally

Unless a fucking Tsunami happens

And kills a few people

Oh God, I don’t care if it is 3,000 or 200,000 or a billion

I just wish I was in Indonesia when it happened

 

Life is worth nothing

Best proof were only ants thinking were geniuses

When really we’re nothing more than nothing

Let the wave take us all

And let’s enjoy the silence

 

 

I am out of this world

 

I have reached that fine line that no one should cross

I believe I have lost all inspiration

All these books I have never read and probably will never read

Perhaps it is just my imagination

How should I know?

They just basically steal everything

And repeat the same stuff over and over again

And turn it into in such a way that no one could sue anyone

Not that I would sue anyone anyway

My Ego has grown to the size of a small planet

Perhaps I am too out there

But that’s the only way to reach out to anyone

I just have to shut my big mouth

Continue to write forever and ever

I will get there one day

Just have to be careful

Keep my feet on the ground

And continue to inspire people

But who cares anyway

I’ve always said I was beyond all that

Thinking more about suicide than recognition

And that’s so fucking true

Give me a gun any day

That is so much more important to me than anything else

Because I’m so bored with this life

It’s getting me nowhere worthwhile

Successes are short lived

My Ego grows in size only for a few seconds

Until I get back to my useless reality

I’m still the unhappiest person on this planet

Whatever my accomplishments

More than once I wanted to just shoot the persons in front of me

I can’t stand anyone anymore

I can’t stand anything anymore

The news are killing me

Society is killing me

You are killing me

Damn it!

You are just a useless bunch of people

I don’t give a fucking fuck about any of you

If you could just die, it may make me happy

I guess I just want to isolate myself from everything and everyone

And I can’t even do that

Useless planet, useless world

I need to get out of here!

I need to breathe!

I don’t need you or your recognition

Go fuck yourself, all of you!

 

 

I’ve become an undesirable

 

Employment agencies are afraid of me

They think I want to commit suicide

Employers believe I’m some sort of anarchist

They may even think I am some sort of terrorist

How funny

Because what I’m saying is often what most people think

And yet, by not saying anything, they are somehow off the hook

 

I won’t shut up!

I won’t stop saying what I believe!

If it costs me a lot, then I’ll just have to assume it

It’s in my nature and we cannot change our nature

Oh sad people of this world

At least I understand you

I talk for you

Since you cannot express anything yourself

 

Oh god, what am I gonna do?

Is there anything I can do at this point?

I am so tired of lying to everyone

Pretend that I am someone that I am not

Fighting for things I don’t believe in

 

And what is it that I believe in?

In time I have forgotten

Never mind, I have written a lot on the subject

Surely something will remain of what I have written?

And if not, so be it

I don’t care

I don’t believe in anything

And that’s how it should be

 

 

Am I alive?

 

Am I insensible?

Oh yeah

 

Am I heartless?

Oh yeah

 

Am I pessimistic?

Oh yeah

 

Am I totally lost?

Oh yeah

 

Am I disgusted by everything I see?

Oh yeah

 

Have I lost faith in humanity?

Oh yeah

 

Am I sadistic?

Oh yeah

 

Am I dead?

Oh yeah

 

Am I a murderer?

 

 

Just admit it

 

You have debts

You don’t love the person you’re living with

You hate your parents and friends

You’re a psychopath

You’re a drug addict

You’re a mental case

You’re a misfit

You don’t fit in

You’re as depressed as I am

You can’t stand anyone

You’re fed up with life

You’re that close to tell everybody to fuck off

 

Just admit it

You’ll feel better

And if not

You are a fucking sad case

Conditioned to perfection

Brainwashed beyond hope

Ready for the asylum

There’s no hope for you

You certainly can’t help yourself

God help you

 

 

Go ahead with your dreaming

 

For what it is worth

To hope for so much

Can only be deceived the day it becomes reality

 

How I wish I never had any dream

Never succeeded in making them come true

What is there left for me now?

 

No more dream worth pursuing

No hope that one day everything will fall into place

That I'll be free to do as I wish

 

If I were to go back in time and decide to pursue my dreams

I would not do anything

Better continue to hope in a better world than be disappointed

 

You are guilty for making the world what it is

To be powerless in changing it

To not even try

 

Go ahead with your dreaming, for what it is worth

Hope in a better world is all there is left

Cos' there'll never be a better world

 

 

Being stopped by love

 

Love is no reason to stop you living

Love is no reason to stop you from having friends

Love is no reason to stop you from smoking and drinking

Love is no reason to stop you from living the way you should

 

Love is a prison

Love is the biggest obstacle to conquered

Love is everything between you and success

Love is not worth it

 

Let’s face it, how many times a month do you actually have sex with your loved one?

Without having to beg for it?

Madness, useless, crazy

Love, overrated, not worth it

 

How much more whinging must one suffer?

Complaints going on and on and on?

Bitching and blaming and accusations…

It’s a living hell!

 

Love, is not really love

It stops life

No way

Just get rid of it

 

Oh, how I wish I could!

 

 

I’m the Brain behind Westminster

 

Look at him!

Parliament Square

He’s the big Minister

He is what we are and what we represent

But don’t listen to him for too long

You would soon realize he has no brain

That’s why I’m here

I’m the brain behind the Mongol

Useless to talk to him, talk to me

Or else whatever you say will not be acted upon

Wasted, wasted, wasted… that’s our definition

That’s us!

Unless you speak to me

I’m the only brain out here

I’m the assistant, you see…

Call my Mycroft Holmes

Without me the world cannot go round

Without me, there is no world

I am it

I am everything

I am the Assistant to the big Minister

Waste your time!

I’m sure it has been taken into consideration in the budget

Let’s contact the Honourable Mr. Justice whatever…

The Prime Minister or whatever…

All gone… in more important meetings that will never end

You need the assistant

I will make it happen

I will make it all come true

I’m the power behind the pretence

What have you done for me lately?

Nothing?

Then you can forget it

I don’t give a shit about you

Don’t even try, I was the one you needed to seduce

To convince

To pay

And I’m not convinced

Your project will fail

No budget allocated to that, I can tell you

See ya at the next party!

I’ll be the one out of control

The one that everyone believes will be sacked

But hey, I’m the brain behind the power

I decide everything around here

Sad it took you so long to understand it

You will be sacked now, any time soon

Because I don’t like you

Because you don’t like me

It is as simple as that

Better luck next time

Hi ha, hi ho, ya hoo!

Wonderful, I am in control of the country

I am the Assistant, you see

I decide everything around here

And you are not part of that plan

Sorry…

Next!

 

 

Desperate People

 

What time is it?

Five minutes past midnight

Can I buy cigarettes and alcohol at this time?

I’m working tomorrow

It would kill me to go out now

Yet, I need to go on

Build history

Tell you of these times where nothing of significance is happening

Never mind the wars

The petty laws that we believe to be the signs of Big Brother lurking in

We are still far away from Defcon 1

Even though I can see that I am dying

Of old age… how sad

At this point, nothing means anything

I’m a desperate man!

I want everything on a gold platter

I believe I deserve it

But I don’t

And no one else deserves it

That’s the problem

They’re all desperate

For some sort of recognition

They want to be part of history

To change something on a massive scale

They will all die hopeless

None of them did anything worth mentioning

Desperate people

Will never get anywhere

You see, things happen out of your control

Things will always happen out of your control

And what will humanity remember

Can only come from people like me

And I choose carefully what I wish to be remembered

At the moment, nothing

I’m a desperate man

Nothing to pursue, to admit, to declare

Automated world for automatons

Brainwashed people completely brain dead

What could I add to change your legacy?

Nothing

Complete success

We’re all desperate people

 

 

Cockpit Steps

 

My dear Cockpit Steps!

You mean so much to me!

Westminster and all

My dream now achieved

I am here to stay

For the moment

I live here

I am it

I am everywhere

 

My Cockpit Steps!

All mine!

For all I care

Nothing before me existed

Nothing after me will ever exist

I am history

At the present time

For eternity

 

My Cockpit Steps

No one will ever steal them from me

I will get them known

I will make sure everyone knows where they are

What they mean to Westminster

They mean lunch time

They mean the sandwich before St James’s park

They mean government stuff

Policy, regulation, law

 

My Cockpit Steps…

You just know that anyone of any importance in history

Has climbed those steps

And I am climbing them every day

Am I important to history?

I sure hope I am

Or else we’re all doomed

After my death

Remember

 

The Cockpit Steps

And hopefully it will make sense

Sense of it all

I’m talking bullocks

I hope you understand that

Or else, we’re all doomed for real

 

No one of any importance has ever climbed

My Cockpit Steps

 

 

We were so naive

 

Can’t say I was not there first

Can’t say I was not as stupid as you were

Can’t say I too thought it would open me all the doors of the world

 

The thing is that I quickly realised that it was all worthless

And I was there because I enjoyed it

Not like you who could not understand that no doors would ever open

 

I wonder where you are today

Not that I would want to meet you

I would be quite happy if you were already dead

I can’t imagine why you would be happy to hear from me now

 

We only existed for a fraction of a second

On a timeline already destroyed

Yet, we believed it was the perfect moment in time

That we are now part of history

Of something bigger than we will ever be able to reach on our own

 

We would talk about it like if there was no tomorrow

Like if anything coming after was just not worth mentioning

Not hard to imagine

Nothing great is anywhere near from bursting into our lives now

The world seems to have come to an end

No imagination or revolutionary idea anywhere

We were it!

London!

On a Friday night, means everything…

Or are we just kidding ourselves?

Was it so powerful?

I just can’t tell

 

Perhaps we were just so naive

To believe that we were changing the world

I certainly felt like I was influencing a few people

I was just as naive as you

 

I just could not face you now

You’re probably a solicitor or a doctor

Make’s me want to puke everywhere

God I hope you’re dead!

 

I was so naive…

 

 

You’re so Perfect

 

You put me to shame

You’re the PA of the whole government

And you’re so perfect

I work beside you

With all my neurosis, psychological problems, there’s no end to it

And yet you are made of steel

Everything just rubs over your feathers like a duck in St James’s Park

Your sister was Miss World from South America

It might as well have been you

So much intelligence

So much understanding of life

So many ways to defuse every single bomb dropping on our head

You’re so perfect

That’s just it

You’re the government

You are the glue that keeps it all together

How sad that ultimately you’re not the one making the decisions around here

You would certainly solve every single problem this dying civilisation is facing

If only you were not just a PA

If only you were recognized as the person saving the day, every day

Let’s face it

You are diplomacy

You are the smile on the face of these disgusting fat politicians with no future

You are the one maintaining them where they are

You are the genius behind the power

You’re so damn perfect

It makes me sick

Oh, how I just wish I was like you

Not bothered by any fucking bitch around who feels like dictating

Bunch of dictators in the making

And yet you are able to stop them in their tracks

You need to be commended

You deserve an OBE

The Queen herself should hire you

Just sad that your brain is not working

When the time comes to understand anything

Of what is going on around you

I believe you are intelligent enough

It’s just that you have been brainwashed

Fortune, money, fashion

Friday night big lunch in the higher spheres of London

Showing off

You have forgotten you real role in all of this

You are blind to your power

Every time you speak with the brains around here

You just don’t understand that, in all your innocence

You are the real intelligence

But I guess that if you understood that

You could never really be the brain here

Or influence the brains around here

You might as well just be the innocent and insignificant PA

And play your role in humanity’s destiny

 

 

Back Off Bitch!

 

Back off bitch!

Yeah, you!

Surely you recognise yourself?

You’ve made my life a misery for years

In every job I ever had

Always, you, to bitch around

And give me shit

 

Back off bitch!

What the fuck is going through your mind?

That’s so different from what’s running in mine?

Why, oh why, are we so different?

And why is it that you always somehow feel the need to hate me?

What have I done to God to deserve you?

A bitch in every corner, in every country, I tell you

 

Back off bitch!

Ah, you’re new

You’re my boss

I know you

You’re just like the others

A bitch waiting to destroy me

You need a good fuck, that’s what you need

 

Back off bitch!

Westminster is full of them

Never again will I suffer you

I’ll kill you before

It’s a promise

To all the bitches of the world

 

Back off bitch!

Could it be that I am the problem?

Have I got a sticker on my forehead?

Warning all of you that it won’t work?

Have I got too many opinions?

Am I trying too much to please you without success?

Or is it just that you cannot share the limelight with me?

I must be a threat to you, no other explanation possible

Well, I better get you sacked and take your place then…

 

Back off bitch!

Or I’ll get rid of you

 

 

My Little Cousin

 

She’s done it again

My little cousin was nothing

She was picked up by the Master

Just like I was

She became number one in every country overnight

I became absolutely nothing

I wish I could hate her

But she’s more anarchist than I’ll ever be

She’s done it again

Her last song is just perfect

I wish I had written that

I wish I was singing it

It’s killing me

Jealousy on a massive scale

How could I fail so spectacularly?

 When she succeeds so exceptionally?

I’m dreaming that one day I’ll be there where she is

My little cousin

 For now I can take comfort

In the fact that my little cousin is not happy

Success looks so bad on you, cousin

That you talk of suicide for the whole world to hear

Have you lost yourself in misery?

Just like me

What has gone wrong?

That in some easy steps

You'll show us how leadership looks when taught by the best

You perhaps think that I don’t know?

Only you can build your life achievement award

And I can tell you that you are getting there

Unlike me

Who’s still stuck in Parliament Square

Forever and ever

One of us needs to be heard

Good luck cousin…

 

 

I Hate Men

 

Have I said it before?

I don’t think so

But I do hate them

I hate all men

Not too sure why

Perhaps because I am such a feminist

Perhaps because I feel so intelligent compare with any man

(I’m not a man, thank god for that)

(Neither a woman, thank god for that)

(Not sure what I am, I must be an alien)

Not too difficult to understand why

Every single man proves everyday just how stupid he is

One would wonder why the fuck they are in charge of everything

With so small a brain

That they will just never understand anything

About the ways of this world

It is this superiority complex that confuses everyone

Their feeling that they know best

Their high position, high social status, that blinds us

Deep down they know

Deep down we know

They’re useless, just useless

They have no intelligence

They don’t understand the first thing

Dear me, how can we still trust them as CEOs?

They will bring this world to an end

Quicker than we can even imagine

This has gone on for too long

Only women should have any right to climb the hierarchy

Only women have the brain to get anywhere

Only women can understand this world

Never trust a man again

They know fuck about the world

And yet

Every woman I meet in a position of power is a bitch

I hate women in power

Perhaps they are no better than men

I guess we can only trust women who are not climbing the hierarchy

That poor woman out there who’s nothing

She should be the next CEO

The next Prime Minister

The next President of the United States

The next Head of the U.N.

Let’s not give her the choice

Let’s get her elected

And finally let’s breathe for a while

(Unless she talks religion, then we must shoot her right there)

For God’s sake!

Let’s do it

Let’s do it now, please!

Only then the world will be a safe place to live

 

 

I’m a Westminster Icon

 

Rats everywhere!

I’m an icon

Dead, shut up bitch!

 

What you want is not what I want

I am not getting older, whore

It’s just that everything out there is just soooooo much craaaap

That my brain stopped working altogether

 

Sheep everywhere!

That we all love the same shit

Not me… fuck you

 

I’m the Marginal

I’m the Anarchist

I’m wasted on everyone

 

Yet, I’m getting somewhere

I’m a Westminster Icon

I’m inspiring the whole planet

 

Generations and generations of lost ones

Electrified by originality

Big hopes for such a futile civilisation

 

Don’t listen to anyone telling you what to do

They don’t know what to do

Or else they would do it

 

Conformist bastards

How can you be proud?

Unless you’re the only lost one out there

 

Open your damn heart to different possibilities

Open your eyes to the alternative

Get out and get inspired!

 

Baby, baby, baby, I Love You

One more time

You wankers

And I’m out of here

 

 

Dreaming on my Lunch Hour

 

In between each bite of my Panini

Sitting on a bench in St James’s Park

I’m dreaming that I am the Prime Minister

I talk about unemployment, alcoholism, god, religion, war

I annihilate what remains of the Third and Second Worlds

I am all powerful and threatening and condescending

I am making a huge difference

Then I realise I’m just that little and insignificant executive

 

In between each crisp

Sitting on a bench by the Thames in front of the Parliament

I’m dreaming that I am a known songwriter

Singing in the biggest alternative band around

I sing about humanity’s problems, doing satires

I have a voice, and my God it is reaching out

I roll in millions while pretending that I’m the poorest and most miserable

Then I realise that I am nothing and will never be anything worthwhile

 

In between each sip of my orange juice

Standing right in the middle of Parliament Square

I am no longer dreaming

I don’t want to be anyone anymore

I hear those morons denouncing god knows what

I see business people obviously making a fortune

An army of politicians walking in every direction

Probably wasting their time and collecting their pay check

I see tourists taking photos, so many photos, I must appear in all of them

I have seen the most photographed phone booth in the world

I’m not impressed

I’m quite pleased not to be anything worthwhile

 

I’m so fed up with everything and everyone

Hear all that crap every single day

Politicians who don’t know what they’re talking about

Meaningless journalists inventing front page stories

Everyone’s lying through their teeth

Everywhere, propaganda

My head’s about to explode!

One more lunch hour in Westminster

And I’ll bomb the place

 

In between each bite of my blueberry muffin

Walking on Westminster Bridge

I’m dreaming that I am a terrorist

I talk about unemployment, alcoholism, god, religion, war

I annihilate what remains of the First World

I am all powerful and threatening and condescending

I am making a huge difference

Then I realise I’m just that little and insignificant executive

 

 

I’m such a Peaceful Fellow

 

Have I mentioned that I was a peaceful fellow?

I pay my taxes every month

I read Sherlock Holmes stories night and days

In fact, I need that to escape the world I live in

I am so polite, it’s almost disgusting

I’m such a nice person

I’m always laughing, a big smile on my face

Everyone loves me

I have a magnetic personality

 I am successful at my job

I am being recognised for what I am

A valuable and hard working employee

A sympathetic colleague

A happy go lucky and simple minded person

The nicest and softest guy around

 

How do you explain this then?

How do you explain that when I am drunk

I turn into Mr. Hyde?

I can’t

It makes no sense

No one would ever understand

I would throw myself in the Thames tomorrow morning

And no one would be able to explain why

Perhaps that’s the problem

In such a world of hypocrisy

How can you tell if someone is unhappy?

How can you realise that something is fundamentally wrong?

That the whole world is flawed?

You can’t

You find the body a few yards away

It’s a mystery

You don’t question anything

 You don’t put back anything into question

For one that commits suicide

A thousand think of it but lack the courage

But what is wrong with society?

What is wrong with you?

I don’t know

I just know that it makes me want to depart this world

 

There must be something wrong

There must be something that could be changed

I don’t think so

It must be me

Only me

Alone in a million

Who can’t stand anything

The only one who can see the brainwashing

The only one who understands the manipulation

The only one who can see right through you

 

What’s wrong with me?

Why is it that I just can’t accept everything for cash

Be blind like the rest of the population?

And be happy reading my newspaper every day

Without questioning everything

Without understanding the motivations behind and the artifice

 

Oh why have I got a brain?

Never thought of disconnecting the few capable of seeing through your game?

I just wanted to be happy in my blissful ignorance

I don’t care about power and who’s got it

I don’t mind a few wars and genocides somewhere else on the planet

I don’t even give a fuck if you’re stealing millions from the tax payers

I just don’t want to hear from you

I just don’t want to know that you even exist

I don’t want to see your corruption right there in front of me

I don’t want to hear your miserable stories and your scandals

I just want to live, to breathe, to be happy!

This has not materialised, it has not happened

I am not free to think by myself

I am not free to have peace

I am right there in the middle of it all

And everyday I see stupidity surrounding me

You must think we’re gullible

I’m not

I need to free myself from you

I need to free myself from Westminster

I need to free myself from the modern and uncivilised world

I need to get out of here!

 

I used to be such a peaceful fellow, you know

I was ignorant

I was empty

And now I am full of your shit

It’s unbearable

So when I’m drunk

I can no longer pretend

I’m no longer that peaceful fellow

I’m a revolutionary guy ready to do his revolution

You have made this place impossible to live

You have only yourself to blame

 

It could be just me

However

If more disgruntled people say the same thing

You’ll know that I’m not the only one who’s fed up

You’ll know you have a big problem on your hands

You’ll know it’s time for a change

And if not, then others will

And perhaps finally you’ll all disappear from my life

 

Let it be known

I am no longer a peaceful fellow

 

 

I am not a Citizen

 

Sorry, oh dear, I forgot

I am not a citizen

I have no rights whatsoever

I am only a guest in England

At any moment I could be kicked out

Especially if I am a trouble maker

Sorry, just got my Permanent Residency

Will be more difficult to get rid of me now

Better work hard right now to prevent me

From asking for my British Citizenship next year

There will be no stopping me then

I’ll be more British than the Queen

After ten years in London

You would have thought that I was more British than the Brits anyway

But right now I am still immigration scum

With the most basic rights only

And only because of the European Union

If it was up to you, I would have been out years ago

I gain a bit more rights every year

Took a long long time

Came too late in my case but I’m still here anyway

Must have been the most difficult thing ever

Get a permanent residency

Only took ten years, a few solicitors and huge bills that I can’t pay

I have finally beaten the bureaucratic system!

I’m allowed to live somewhere else than where I was born

Even though it is limited to this island

So ridiculous when you think of it

I can hear many of you wishing that I was actually gone

No doubt a few critics will say so quite openly

I don’t care

I have as much right as any of you to be here

I should be able to live anywhere I want

Or else humans on this planet have no rights whatsoever

The whole chart of freedom and liberties is just bollocks

The Constitution is good for the bin

I understand that if you were more open

The whole of Africa would move instantly on your little island

I’m sure this prospect does not help you sleep at night

Perhaps if you had not made their world such a misery

Perhaps if you had helped them instead of robbing them of everything

They would not want to move here in the first place

Nobody’s perfect

You certainly are not

Make’s me wonder why I want to be here

So many British I meet just don’t understand why I want to live here

Because they don’t want to live here either

I guess it’s just that in Canada it’s even worse

People don’t seem to have a mind

Must be the proximity of the United States

Nobody’s perfect

They certainly are not

Despite the peaceful image of rightfulness they project

Makes me sick, I could not leave quickly enough

I just wanted to live somewhere else

To escape

And I am ready to do just that again

Next step

I need to get out of the solar system

I’m ready to be shipped on the first rocket

Contemplating the stars forever

Until I die

Without thinking at all

That’s my dream

One day I will achieve it

Because let’s face it

If I succeeded in getting my permanent residency in England

Then I can succeed at anything

 

 

Another Panic Attack

 

That's it, this time I'll be sacked

I wasted so many months doing nothing

Now they have noticed

They called a meeting

We will discuss my no future within the organisation

How I have been doing everything else but my job

How I tried every last trick in the book to avoid working

Why I am always so sick and never at work

The mistake that I am and the mistake of hiring me

 

Another panic attack

It's coming, I can feel it

I'm doomed

How I thought I could get away with it

I must have been living on another planet

I'll pay the price for my poor track record

My foolishness, my wretchedness

 

I can't breath

More nightmares, every single night

I still have a professional conscience

How I wish I could work three times harder now

To compensate for my failure

I want to start all over again

I want to take life more seriously

I want to be more ambitious

Right there is the problem

I am the least ambitious man on the planet

I can't take life seriously

I don't want to start all over again

I have failure written all over me

I deserve to be sacked

To be deleted

To have never existed

 

How I wish I did not care

That stress was not eating me alive

Can't help it

I'm a waste of time

Another panic attack

 

 

I'm Useless

 

I wanted to be at the top of the world

I wanted to be a billionaire

I had dreams of controlling the planet

I thought I would wipe out everyone on my way to success

 

I am at the bottom of the world

I have more debts than England

I am not even controlling my five cats

People wipe me out on their way to success

 

I was going to be the best Prime Minister there ever was

I wanted to be a business man with a conscience

I was going to help people get out of their misery

I was different and I was going to make a difference

 

Politics makes me sick

Capitalism is killing me

I am the most miserable sod there is

I'm different all right, but nowhere near making any difference

 

I wanted to be a rock star

I saw myself as the best author ever

I would have make movies worthy of the Oscars

I was on my way to revolutionise everything

 

I can't even play a note

I can't write anything worthy of any attention

I held an Oscar once, and that's about it for that

My revolution has yet to come

 

I'm hopeless at everything

I'm worthless at even living a normal life

I have failed in all my jobs

I'm useless

 

 

No Way Out

 

Why, oh why!

Why am I so miserable?

Why am I so depressed all the time?

Why can't I have fun like everyone else?

Why is happiness just an impossible goal?

What an injustice that I was born like that

Worrying about just everything

Incapable of appreciating one single thing

Sinking lower every day

No way out

 

Why, oh why?

Why can't I see beauty?

Why can't I appreciate the simple things of life?

Why is it that I was expecting so much?

Why is it that it is never good enough?

Such high expectations

Standards so high that they could never be reached

It has all gone wrong

A living hell I've made of my existence

No way out

 

Why, oh why?

Why was I born like this?

Filled with an emptiness larger than an ocean

Dreaming of the infinities while watching the night sky

Hoping I was anywhere else in the universe but here

It's not fair!

To be born different

Unable to live a normal life

Unable to accept reality for what it is

No way out

 

Why, oh why?

 

 

If alcohol did not exist

 

If alcohol did not exist

I would never have come out of my tree

I would never tell the truth to anyone

I would still have my job

 

If alcohol did not exist

I would never go crazy

No more splitting headaches

I would not wake up the next day wondering what I have done this time

 

If alcohol did not exist

I would be living a normal life

I would never be totally out of control and lose my mind

I would have not been beaten up

 

If alcohol did not exist

I would never wake up the next day asking why alcohol exist

I would not cry over what I said while drunk

I might be happier

 

If alcohol did not exist

I would have never written anything

 

 

Trying to Connect

 

I'm trying, I'm trying

To connect with this century

To listen to the radio without breaking it

To watch television without be exasperated

To surf the Internet without getting bored out of my mind

 

I'm trying, I'm trying

To connect to this decade

To today's music

To what they are trying to do with these films

To these plays where nothing worthwhile is happening

 

I'm trying, I'm trying

To get into this life

To do my job and go home at night

To not eat and drink too much

To not do anything pleasurable, or I might get cancer

 

I'm trying, I'm trying

To just live this life until I die

To just breathe for a while, while I can

To just enjoy the silence and be peaceful

To not move, just in case something happens

 

I'm trying, I'm trying

Hard and hard, it's not enough

I can't connect, I just can't

I don't know what's going on, I'm just bored

Nothing will ever make me connect

 

 

When I was a little boy

 

I remember when I was a little boy

I was filled with wonder

I looked at the night sky

I asked questions

I could not understand this universe

 

When I grew up

I stopped wondering

I looked at the night sky

I am asking no more questions

I still can't understand this universe

 

When I was a little boy

I watched silently the world around me

I watched TV

I asked questions

I could not understand this world

 

When I grew up

I stopped watching the world around me

I watched even more TV

I can't even think of a question to ask

I still can't understand the world around me

 

When I was a little boy

I did not know what to do with my time

I was as empty as the universe

I was waiting for something to happen

Nothing ever happened

 

When I grew up

I did not have the time to do anything

I was filled with this crap surrounding me

I am waiting for some peace of mind

Too many things happen at once

 

When I was a little boy

I was innocent

I was ignorant

I was nothing

I was indifferent

 

When I grew up

I was no longer innocent

No longer ignorant

No longer nothing

But gosh I wish I was indifferent

 

 

Describing the Heart of London

 

Have I showed you Westminster?

There is no description

Have I described the people?

There are all automates

Have I told the History of the place?

History is in movement, it can still change

An aerial view, perhaps from the Eye?

Every single British film or TV series show it

It’s on the news every day, I cannot escape it myself

Have I told you about Buckingham Palace, the Treasury?

The War Museum, Saatchi, the Aquarium?

The little door on the side of the bridge used in James Bond and Doctor Who?

The women giving you flowers and then begging for money?

The pancake booth, orange juice, hot dogs?

The boats and the double deck buses filled to the brink with tourists?

I did not want to mention them: the global conspiracy lunatics?

Where Prince Charles and his kids live?

You tire quickly when you see it every day

Power, politics, poles, policies, police, poor, poets, public, publicity, pubs

That describes it, and yet, you still cannot picture it

You better buy a tourist guide then

Because no book can translate the Heart of London

 

 

I bumped into the Prime Minister

 

Quickly going into a café to buy a sandwich, a bag of crisps and a yogurt

I bumped into the Prime Minister

Dropping everything on his nice suit

What a mess I have made, I said

He freaked out completely

He said I was insane

He called the police everywhere around him

In minutes I was inside the famous Parliament

I was being questioned while they told me about the new laws against terror

I was terrified all right

They decided to throw me in prison without judgement

They deported me to Washington to be questioned by the President

They sent me to a weird island

I have been tortured

After months of this treatment

I finally admitted everything

I had sex with Osama Bin Laden, ok?

Can I go now?

And then, they let me go!

I could not believe it

So I went back to my daily job in Parliament Square

Now I stand away from the police and the cafés

Unfortunately, while walking to the Underground station

I bumped into the Prime Minister again

Do I know you? he said

Yes, can’t you even remember me?

I sprang to me feet and ran

Never trust a government ready to take away your rights

In the name of your protection and security

Give me bomb threats any day

I will gladly explode before giving away any information about myself

Even though I have nothing to hide

Who am I kidding?

I know they already know everything

At least, give me the illusion that I still have some sort of privacy

So I don’t feel so loudly that I am living in the world of George Orwell

 And please, keep that Prime Minister of yours

Out of my way

 

 

Remaining true to oneself

 

No more lies, ever

Can be plastic for a while

If it serves my purpose

But ultimately, there is only one truth

There is only one destiny

I am following it

It does not involved anyone else

And the crap I tell them when I’m drunk

Does not matter

They are all so insignificant

Even my boss, though I will pretend to break my back over his whims

I don’t give a shit

My boss, I could not care less

This is not what I want

This is not my life

Shining, being successful, making 10 million pounds

These things are not important to me

This is not me

I have created a whole new universe

I am living in there

Whenever I can, that is

However, this is all there is

Nothing else

Westminster, Hollywood

I’m flirting with them, no doubt

When I can get inspired from it

I should not forget that they mean nothing

They should not take me over

I should not stress over them

I am my only master

Only my freedom counts in the end

Only my happiness means something

And I won’t find that in Westminster

Neither in Hollywood

Neither anywhere

It is a state of mind

To not depend on anything, or any place, or anyone

To get there

And I will get there

If I can recognise this, right here and right now

If I can stop and think

I may lose my way here and there

Forget who I am and what I can do

As long as I can remember my nature

As long as I can disconnect from all of this

And remember what it is that I am and doing

Nothing

Then there is hope

 

I won’t play their game

I won’t be part of it

Nothing and no one is important enough

I don’t belong to them

I don’t belong here

There is another world out there

The dream world

The virtual world

My own creation

At the end of the day

This is all there is

And nothing else

 

If nothing else

I will remain true to myself

 

 

Get inspired, if you can

 

Not too many things

Not too many people

Not too many can inspire

Energise you

Break the mould

Break out of this reality

Break out!

 

Why waste time

Why waste a life

Why waste everything

For what is not worth it?

 

Who cares?

Who gives a damn?

No one

Unless they forgot what was important

And God, there are so many of them

With no life anymore

You wish you could take them in your hands

Shake them

Until they wake up

But they won’t, they could not

They are too far gone

 

Not important

You is important

I am important

I need to free myself

That is all that matters

 

I need to get inspired!

I need to revolutionise everything!

Even if it was all and only for myself

In my own little puny mind

 

I need to feel strong

I need to feel I am over everything else

I need to feel free!

To do whatever I want, whenever I want

 

That I could still be successful

That I could still be appreciated

That I could still be desired

That I could still be right there in the middle of it all

Is a mystery to me

 

I should have been cleared years ago

I should have been declared inapt a long time ago

No skills, no talent, no experience worth any salary whatsoever

I am not worthy of working in society

I am not worthy of a job

I am no longer worthy of your attention

 

Are you blind?

Are you completely out of your mind?

Are you that desperate?

Or am I still worth something despite my convictions that I am not?

 

I am ugly

I am old

I am worthless

I don’t give a shit about anything

I am the last person you would like to hire

And yet, I’m still there playing your mind games

And suffering from it

 

Is there not a time when someone should not get any job?

Is there not a time when someone should retire?

Is there not a time when someone should die?

 

God I’m ready

I had enough, more than enough

But we just don’t die anymore

It kills me

Because I want to die

I’m ready

I had enough, more than enough

 

There is nothing else I need to do here

There is nothing else I need to say here

There is nothing else I can do that will make any difference whatsoever

There is nothing I can say that is worthwhile

I’m already dead in my mind

Why can’t you see that?

Is it not obvious?

I can’t get inspired anymore

You have killed any sort of original idea I could have

Nothing is worth it anymore

Not that it ever was

I won’t reinvent the wheel, I know that now

I have accepted it

I don’t care

 

Get inspired while you can

While you feel you can still be inspired

I certainly can’t

I don’t remember a time when I was

I certainly cannot inspire anyone

I might as well retire for good

I will declare bankruptcy and disappear forever

That’s what I’ll do

I don’t even have that courage

You have made a miserable human being out of me

 

 

Making History

 

You can only make a difference

At one specific point in time

Surely enough

You won’t see it at that time

You might even be annoyed at trying to make it happened

Because you won’t believe that you are actually making history

Surely enough

Years later, once everyone has forgotten about you

Or never even known you

They will get back to that moment in time

They will live for that moment

They will wonder who it is that made history on that day

Where they are now

You will then be long gone

 

Do you have a passion?

A passion for what you do?

You must have, or else, how could you have made history then?

Making history is independent of anything else

You just do your thing in your corner

With love and passion and all your heart

And that’s it

There is nothing else beyond that

Making history or not is independent of your control

Of anyone’s control

 

Just do your thing and don’t worry

It will happen or it won’t

It does not matter if you get to know about it or not

That’s what it is, making history

You cannot make it happen

It just happens

 

 

I’m your Westminster’s Whore

 

I don’t even have shoes to wear, god damn it!

I’m naked all the time, right there in Parliament Square

I’m being picked up

I’m being used, I’m being raped, I’m being spit back

Not even one word of appreciation

Was it good for you too?

Do you want to do it again one day?

Farewell then, and fuck you too!

 

I’m your Westminster’s Whore

 

Here to serve

What do you want

What do you need

Here you are

Take it, swallow it, eat it

I don’t care

I’m tired

I’m shaking

I’m dead

I want out

 

I’m your Westminster’s Whore

 

I’m your puppet!

I move to the right

I move to the left

I will not move if you ask me to

I will shut up eventually, maybe

Oh dear, I don’t respond anymore

I must be broken

It must be you!

You have broken me

What’s happening?

I have lost my mind by the Big Ben

At 3 am, you would think the tourists would be gone

Ah! They just won’t get lost

No matter, I’m their whore and I love it

 

I’m your Westminster’s Whore

 

How much money have you got?

Mmh, ok, that’s fine

Where do you want to do it?

Here is fine

I’m beyond caring

Let’s do it right here

In Parliament Square

This is what it has become

Nothing else

 

I’ll be your whore!

Go for it!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Yes! Yes! Again! More! Yes! Ah!

It was my pleasure

I want more

Never enough

I want to screw you all

Until none of you remain

 

I’m your Westminster’s Whore

And I love it

 

 

He slept with a prostitute!

 

Big deal

It’s not like he was not a human to begin with

Being a politician, you can never be certain

They lie so much to get where they are

Their PR campaign tells nothing of who they really are

They are family men

They care for the people

They will do everything they can to help you

Who else on this planet is still that dumb to believe that crap?

The same ones that can’t believe that he is an alcoholic

That he never cared for anything else but his own ambition

The same people that will ask for his resignation

When they learn he has slept with a prostitute

It’s even worse than that

Everyone knew who he was

Everyone knows he does not care about anyone

And suddenly, it is so nice to pretend to be scandalised

To get rid of him forever

He’s no longer fashionable

He did not help sell newspapers

But now he does

It was so boring on this Monday morning

A deep and juicy gossip is what our miserable life needs

Let’s destroy the man

The one that lied to us from the beginning

Even though we knew and did not care

Even though we asked for it

Since only pure and innocent people should go into politics

He deserves it

Sleeping with a prostitute, what was he thinking?

 

A life in politics, is like being castrated

No more sex life

Dedication to the people is what we expect

Because we’re so stupid

We cannot see beyond what is human nature

 

Well, if you wanted to elect a Saint

If you wanted to elect the Virgin Mary

If you wanted God as your MP

Then you should have gone into politics

You hypocrites

 

 

Should I vote Labour or Conservative?

 

Is there a difference?

Really?

Tell me then, I have a few years to waste

Is there another party I can vote for?

Is there any other party that people can vote for?

No?

Why?

I don’t understand…

I have another few years to learn, tell me

We should get rid of these parties

Everyone should be independent

That’s what I think

Let’s get the best person elected

Let’s not vote for a party

We will elect a bunch of fools and opportunists

What? How many billions will these parties spend on their election campaign?

How many hundreds will these independent parties spend on their campaign?

You see the problem, right there

They should all be allocated a budget from the state and make do with it

No more, no less

Then perhaps it would be fairer?

No?

Sorry I even asked

I won’t vote, once again, I don’t see the point, really

It makes no difference

They are all incompetent because they all won for the wrong reasons

We have all been manipulated by the media

Brainwashed by the billions they spent

I am no longer listening

I have never listened anyway

None of them will make the world any better

None of them can

Perhaps it is time to move away from politics

Nothing good will come out of this

It is on an individual basis that something good might come out

That maybe we will make the world a little better

But I don’t hold my breathe

As I don’t trust anyone

Neither should you

 

 

Guilty!

 

Am I guilty?

Of wondering what you would look like with a knife in your back?

Of imagining your bloody face on your computer desk?

Of secretly dreaming of decapitating you on my way to work?

Of thinking about blowing up this place?

 

Am I guilty?

I would like to be racist for once and piss on you

I hope I could still be respected after that

I wish I could be all alone on this planet

I want to eradicate the human race

 

Am I guilty?

I am giving you all the ammunition you will ever need

Here is the proof that I am a mental case

You have all you need to put me in prison

Or do you?

 

Am I guilty?

Do what you want

Believe what you say

You might think I can no longer go into politics now

But you would be wrong

 

Are they guilty?

Easy to dig some dirt, republicans are excellent at that

Does it matter what I am saying here?

Let’s see how far I can go despite my words

People forget, people don’t care

 

Who’s guilty?

If you’d finally understand that they are worse than I am

Because they don’t only think about it, they act upon it

If I was allowed to try and if I’d care

I would be a very successful Prime Minister or President

 

 

Other White

 

In this politically incorrect world

I’ve got a new label

When applying for a job

I’m not Indian

I’m not African

I’m not Palestinian

I’m not Iraqi

I’m not a spastic

I’m not White, British white that is

Gosh, I guess I’m not red or blue either

I must be White, Other

That’s it!

I am Other White

 

It has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

What can I achieve with this?

Can I get a job?

I am allowed to be alive?

Do I have special needs?

Do I fulfil your statistics of non-WASPs requirements?

 

Could have been worse

I could have been classified

As a first class imbecile

Then I would have definitely got the job

 

Other White is not good enough

I’m still white

Their quota of aliens is not reached with me

I’m just another plain and boring White guy

Nothing to write home about

Nothing to complain about

Surely I cannot suffer any sort of discrimination?

That’s what you would think

 

And now there is that White British guy

He’s running for the elections in my county

He hopes to win in Hounslow

A place filled with aliens, if ever I saw one

He says he will tackle immigration

In other words, he’ll try to kick me out of the country

Nice move, my neighbours can’t stand aliens taking over

He might win, though I know there’s nothing he can do about immigration

Well, I might as well vote for that Indian guy instead

At least I know he won’t try to get rid of me by tackling immigration

 

Immigration, such a nice concept

I wonder who invented it

Probably a racist

Well, no racist has ever been so successful

 

He won’t get my vote

Not that he cares anyway

Not that I care anyway

Other White might as well translate as: Undesirable

And White British who wishes to tackle immigration: the enemy

 

Let’s start the war!

 

 

Lady Di is Dead

 

I got into trouble again at work

I said innocently that Princess Diana was dead

Simple enough, stating a mere fact

What I did not know

Was that the Princess of the People

Is still alive in our heart

Not in mine, I said blandly

Instant crisis, you would have thought I killed the Princess myself

 

Then I went on, saying that Prince Charles was right to marry Camilla

The poor guy was already in love before they arranged his wedding with Lady Di

Oh dear, I should have shut my mouth

All hell broke loose

What about the poor Diana who was in love and was rejected by the prince?

What about that? I said

You have to be pretty blind and stupid

Not to know the first law of arrange marriages

The first law is that you are allowed to have your mistress or lover on the side

But Lady Di did not know!

What? No one told her?

She never read a bit of history about the British Royal Family?

Has she not seen Dangerous Liaisons?

Was she stupid or what?

 

At that point I thought I was going to lose my job

Already the gossip was going around the building

I am an insensitive bastard

Who believes the poor Charles suffered enough

And that he should happily marry his girlfriend that everyone hates

How could I see her as a nice and normal person?

When clearly she is a bitch that destroyed a royal marriage?

 

Well, I never cared for the Pope or Mother Theresa when they died

I’m certainly not going to see Diana as a Saint

Because she visited a few hospitals and a cleared land mine

With an army of journalists on top of it

 

If she had not been so beautiful

And if Camilla had not been so ugly

It would have been a totally different story

In fact, replace Diana with Camilla

And I bet you would have been happy that Camilla was gone

 

Lady Di is dead, get over it

Long live Charles and Camilla

And hopefully future King and Queen of the United Kingdom

And if I have to lose my job over this

Then I’ll gladly resigned from Westminster

 

 

Who will remember you in 20 years?

 

Who do you think you are?

Who will remember you in 20 years?

If you’re still alive

No matter how successful you are

No matter how important you think you are

In 20 years you will not even be history

It will be like if you never existed

Thank god!

 

Not sure if I could live in a world where you would never die

Not sure what I would think of a world

Where in 20 years time

You were still famous

Such a world would not deserve to exist

Just like you don’t deserve to be successful

I guess so many millions pumped into the PR machine

And with a bit of luck

Is all you need to get there

 

Read your negative critics carefully

Cos they’re right

You’re an impostor who bought his way to success

You have no talent

You have no personality

You’re only first page because newspapers don’t know what else to talk about

Surely they don’t do their job

Or else why would they waste their time on you?

 

Oh well

Let’s just hope that tomorrow

You will be old news

As I’m sure you will be

So drop the pretence

 

 

I’m Self-Centred

 

Me me me

Look at me!

Acknowledge that I exist!

It’s all about me

I want, Iwant, Awwant!

 

Yes, I am self-centred

I only talk about myself

I want this and that

I am this and that

Who cares?

 

This book is all about me

All my books are all about me

Why should I talk about you?

Do you deserve it?

Why should I not talk about myself in every single line?

Is there a law written somewhere preventing me from doing so?

Is this annoying you?

I guess I should then speak even more about myself

 

And yet

I don’t feel like I am talking about myself

I don’t think I am talking about what I need and want

And I am talking a lot about you

It is just that it is so negative that you think I am not

 

Have you ever thought that perhaps I was playing with you?

That really you still know nothing about me?

You think you can bring a psycho-analyst in

And he will tell you all my neurosis

I have read many psycho-babble analysis of my work

They were all wrong

And I was being objective, believe me

 

Is that all you were able to come up with to destroy me?

I am egocentric?

Only me exist in my universe?

Perhaps it is the truth after all

I don’t acknowledge anyone’s existence anyway

I am alone in my world that I have created

No one is here over my shoulder telling me what to write

I am always alone here

You only exist from my point of view

From my own frame of reference

That’s Relativity for you

Here, only me exist

 

So I guess I am damn right to be self-centred

I am right to be egocentric

You only exist in my imagination

You are puppets that serve a purpose

The purpose of my learning process

 

I need to push the limits and finally understand

What it is that you are all about

What it is that you are actually doing

In my mind you are nothing and not doing much

Nothing to impress me, that’s for sure

Nothing remarkable about you

Though I admit this world is quite remarkable

Only because I still don’t understand anything about it

I see the universe for what it is

For how large relatively speaking it is

In there you are insignificant

And I am so insignificant that I don’t see the point in living

 

Sorry for being egocentric

I’m just trying to figure out what it is that I’m doing here

And when I really look at it

I’m depressed because I’m not doing anything worthwhile

Just like you

 

Sorry for not turning my beam on you and only speak about you

I guess you just don’t deserve it

Or else I would not be so unimpressed

By everything you do and say

 

 

I’m worth more than any of you

 

Yes, I am pretentious

I believe I am more intelligent than you

I think I am better than you

I’m sure I am

 

I know it is not true

But it sure helps me stay alive

Or else I would just commit suicide

Not even think twice about it

 

A few beers is all I need to reach that state

Note that nothing here has been written without it

 

In real life, I am humble

I am stupid

I am useless

You would not recognise me

I’m a poor shadow of my personality here

 

Evasion is the word

Sorry you have to judge me on that which is not me

I am the most miserable thing that ever lived

The difference is that I can recognise that fact

While I’m pretty sure you believe you are still worth something

 

We are all meaningless

A life is worth nothing in the eyes of any government

As long as they believe it is good for the masses

I wonder why we try to save that astronaut

When we killed a few millions on the side over the years

 

You will admit that being miserable and nothing

The only thing that can motivate a man

Is for him to believe that he is worth something

That he is better than the next man

To shit on humanity and think he is the most intelligent person alive

Great therapy

 

So I am pretentious

I am more intelligent than you

I am worth more than any of you

And you can go and screw yourself

 

 

Alien Nation

 

We’ll all be dead within a few years

It was written in the sky

Every single lunatic predicted it

We will destroy ourselves

 

How can it be any other way?

We’ve been working at it for years

Everything we do and say

Alienate the whole world

 

We have forgotten all about diplomacy

For one good reason

Diplomacy never worked

And diplomacy will never work

 

So what about the sound of my canons?

Or I could just drop a few missiles

And get a few tanks on their way

A nice nuclear bomb with that?

 

You thought alienation was a problem

We alienate them, they go to war

They alienate us, we go to war

It’s a vicious circle

 

We alienate them

They freak out

They don’t respond to diplomacy

We eradicate them

 

So they armed themselves, they become terrorists

They kill us, we are even more alienated

So we go there and finish the job

We might as well finish it for real

 

Life can be so simple sometimes

We just cannot make the right and final decision

That is required to stop the alienation

Just destroy the whole damn humanity!

 

So we can finally live in peace

 

 

Love is an overrated meaningless concept

 

In all my babble I have forgotten something important

Can’t quite put my finger on it

I have it on the tip of my tongue…

Of course! Love!

 

For some weird reason love has never been an inspiring concept to me

I guess I never really found true love

Or if I did, it lasted for such a short amount of time

That it left no impression on me at all

 

Yet love means everything to this world

97% of all songs and books and films are about love

If love is missing from your art

You might as well kiss your career goodbye

 

Is there an army of people out there dreaming about love?

A concept so alien to me?

What is it that they feel and live that I am missing?

I feel I have been left out of such an odyssey

 

I wish I could just demand to feel it

And it would be offered to me on a platter

I wish I could find out what it is that they are talking about

Must be quite something

 

I know what sex is

I’m already fed up with that concept

But falling in love?

Ready to kill and die for it?

 

I’m sorry, it goes right over my head

What I observe right now are

Divorces, law suits, whinging kids, money problems

Not exactly love and so-called perfection

 

Is it possible that love is just a vague idea?

Well past its sell by date?

An invention without meaning

Just for the heck of having something to talk about in art?

 

Dear me, oh dear

I have missed a boat larger than the one I though I’d missed

I still know nothing about love

Or anything remotely linked to it

 

Can’t imagine what it is

Must be pretty serious though, frightening actually

If the consequences are any close to the truth

Fasten your seat belt, you might not survive it

 

Or perhaps love is just an overrated meaningless concept

 

 

I’m still a Virgin

 

How can I be that old and still be a virgin?

I can hear your mind going in overdrive

There must be some deep psychological problem

At the root of this neurosis

Perhaps I was abused when I was young

Perhaps I am dying of jealousy inside because of my perfect sister

Must be something even worse, but what?

 

Being a virgin today is unconceivable

Though never having found true love

Is quite acceptable, normal actually

Since everyone has just turned into Master Bitches

 

I’m still a virgin

I’m about to die

Have I missed something important?

Something I needed to experience before I die?

Should I be forced into it so I can find out?

To satisfy your morbid ideas about normality?

 

I sure need a girlfriend

I certainly need to marry the bitch

Children have to pop out of her vagina

That is the most basic law of nature

From what you have been told by the Pope

Supposedly transmitting the laws of God

 

I’m still a virgin

I think God would be proud

I believe I should never have sex

Isn’t this his message?

 

The Virgin Mary never had to have sex to have a baby

Jesus, as far as I know, never had sex

They both died virgins

So I should also die a virgin

You should all die virgins

If we become pregnant

Then it has to be the action of God alone

 

If you ever had sex

You are no longer pure

You need to be executed

You will go straight to hell

 

Thank God I’m still a virgin!

 

 

The Cynicism Paradox

 

You must be wondering why I am so cynical

I thought that perhaps it was because I have three full time jobs

Could be also the fact that I am in the process of declaring bankruptcy

Could it be that I don’t even have a pound to buy a sandwich?

Or that my sex life is completely inexistent?

There is also the fact that I am surrounded by a bunch of ass holes

I’m stuck most of the time in trains or undergrounds going nowhere

Reading so many stupidities in the newspapers everyday does not help

Nothing about me or my life is acceptable to anyone over 50

They have such weird opinions about religions and creation

That sometimes I think we were not born on the same planet

What else I find unbearable in this world

Frustrating me and angering me until I can’t think no more

Hypocrisy is everywhere, politicians lie blatantly to get elected

Fashion, media, television, radio, is just about commercials and money

There is not even one song on the radio that I can actually stand

There is not one television programme worth watching

Ah, the publicity, everywhere, must be the worst of all

Contraventions, I am collecting them

There is a policeman or a parking attendant at every 5 metres

You have to pay a fortune just to breathe

What else?

Is it really why I am so cynical?

I don’t even think so

I believe I was born that way

There is no cure for me

Pills and drugs have no effect

Alcohol makes me worse by opening my eyes even wider

I wish I could just walk over all of this

Be happy go lucky

Smiling all the time

Find happiness if this is at all possible

However

The real question

The real mystery

Is not why I am so cynical

It is

Why are you not more cynical yourself?

 

 

My neighbours are bunkers

 

I live in a mini council estate of 12 flats

At B I have a fat old woman who reads 15 newspapers a day

Drinks 5 bottles of wine a day

Whinge all the time about the council policies and bills

At F I have a family of morons

They spend the day cutting my trees and abusing me verbally

They called the police on me

They said I destroyed their car

We’re still fighting this and it might end up in court

At H there is the fluffy girl

She is completely gone

She says my cats are aliens and she can see their antennas

They radio broadcast messages that only her can hear

She broke everything in her flat, including all the windows

She somehow managed to throw her TV out the window

And blames my cats and me for her long depression

She is also a sex addict

Before her, living there, was that fat woman who could not stand up

Every time she needed to go to the hospital

The firemen had to come and take out the fence

Use a crane to lift her and then forget to replace the fence

At J there were a few refugees from Kosovo

They were four in there always naked

They too managed to destroy everything

Even the whole back wall

To this day we still don’t know what happened

At C we now have a couple of lesbians

They seem ok, the only normal neighbours I ever had

But before them

An even weirder couple

Drug addicts

The girl dying of aids

Linked somehow to the worse Mafioso in Italy

They were stealing more and more stuff

Until the whole backyard was filled with crap

After she died

And after the guy did everything to alienate us by lying to everyone

He took his guns and created a panic involving over 100 policemen and other squads

He had grenades and was about to blow up the place

A long night indeed, the police finally fumigated all the flats to get to him

They used a teaser gun on him just before he killed a few of them

My neighbours are bunkers

 

Makes me wonder if perhaps I am too

Without even being aware

Makes me wonder if perhaps everyone else is too

Without being aware

That’s it, that explains it

We’re all bunkers!

 

 

Surrounded by Incompetence

 

Just finished writing half a dozen reports

It went bad, really bad

Turns out I did not have all the right information

I screwed up badly

I have proven how incompetent I am

Tomorrow is my big review meeting about my first six months

After that I am either permanent or out the door

I’m considering wild ideas

To stop thinking about all this

Must look good that I worked all night rewriting my reports

Contradicting everything I said before

Proving that I have no clue what we should do

Can’t blame them

Even if it is the incompetence of others that led to my failure

It’s no excuse, I know

Everyone knows that in Westminster

No one is reliable or knows anything

How could have I trusted them?

It would have been better to invent numbers instead

Hide the fact that I screwed up big time

Maybe I’m not cut out for this

Perhaps I am more stupid than I first assessed

Maybe the time has come

To admit that I am not intelligent

That I have no great potential

That I should find a job at my level

Car driver for example

I’m considering it

An offer is on my doorstep

Maybe that’s what I need

A job where thinking is not a requirement

Where I don’t depend on anyone’s incompetence

Was easy when I arrived in London

I could not speak the language

I was working on a till in a shop at the airport

Surrounded by what people would call the lower class

And even then, they were more practical and intelligent

Than me or all these others with their diplomas

Worth trusting a system that fails society

 

The further away you are from Westminster

The more you find intelligent life forms

 

 

Blogging things

 

I’ve been blogging for years

So I’m told this year

Suddenly my blogs are no more interesting

Than the million others out there writing about their uninteresting life

Fair enough

 

That’s my last blog

No more after that, I know that now

I was a bit tired anyway

Being the first blogger and all, you know

I’ve been waiting to retire for a long time

Of course I am more than happy to just have an uneventful life

Routine is all I’m asking for, believe me

 

I need to move into fiction

Science fiction, I’m being told

If I still want to be respected in the next decade

I’m all out of stories now

Robots and brain transplant and all

Parallel universes and time machines

Sure, the next generation always wants more

 

There’s no point unless I re-invent science fiction

Unless I re-invent science

I’m quite prepared for that

I have re-invented science actually

Just need a fat pay check to write fiction around it

And time, oh time, I guess I should invent that time machine after all

In the process

Which is feasible with a fat pay check, I suppose

I know where to start

I can do it

A few billions ought to do it

I’m very resourceful

When comes to time to find solutions

To blogging even more

 

Blogging things has been my life

20,000 pages at least in the last 15 years

And I am not exaggerating here

Pretty good for my miserable existence where nothing happens

Do it then if it is so easy

Do it, write 1000 pages in the next 6 months

If it is so common, that all commoners can do it

 

Fuck you!

How dare you compare me to a simple blogger?

You can’t even write three lines yourself

If you were actually blogging I could at least respect you

But you’re not, you’re nothing

 

I have more integrity than you give me credit for

I might be a simple blogger

But I’m “The” Blogger

And I’m proud of it

So shut up and read

You might learn something

You mad diseased cow

 

 

Election Day

 

I’m I registered to vote?

No

Why should I?

There is no point

I’m not a citizen anyway, so who cares?

 

I could vote

I could even vote for you

Despite your lack of enthusiasm

Despite your lack of determination

Despite being unable to reach me in any way with your ideas

 

I’ve heard the East End Boy

Mumbling something about voting for someone

Who apparently will bring down the taxes

Adding quickly that he knows nothing about anything

How sad

 

I guess telling the people that they won’t pay any more taxes

Still works

Good for you if that gets you elected

We all know it is a lot of bullshit

You liar and opportunistic bitch

 

You may still win the elections

You won’t deliver, we all know that

Who cares anyway?

Not me, I know better

 

Simple people still exist, lucky for you

Blind people still exist, lucky for you

They want to be raped, they’re asking for more

What are you waiting for?

Just take advantage of them

Of their simple minded life

No need for brain in this world

To win an election

 

With such an uninspired campaign

Lack of convictions of any sort

No idea about what to do to sort these lives out

Let’s just continue the way it has always been done

Let’s call for committees and reports

And in the end do nothing

Or even worse

Pass a few hundred laws to complicate everyone’s life

Let’s do it!

Who will stop you?

Not me, that’s for sure

 

Thank god I’m not voting

Thank god I’m not taking sides

Thank god I remain innocent

To your crime against humanity

 

 

What sort of government would respect the law?

 

I should not be writing this…

 

Why should I not be writing this?

Because it is scandalous?

Because you can’t bear it?

Because it is just too much for your poor mind?

No.

 

I should not be writing this

Because I have decided today to stop writing

A bottle of wine and a few beers

Seem to tell me otherwise

 

All right

I won’t stop writing

As long as it is to denounce things

To denounce you

Your hypocrisy, your lies

People need to be reminded, you know

That’s in the nature of things

You can’t be so corrupt and get away with it

It might take a few years to make everyone understand

But we’re getting there, don’t worry

You will pay, don’t worry

Even if I have to die in the process

I don’t care

You have made this life unliveable anyway

I’m not prepared to be happy under those conditions

I just can’t

 

I should not be writing this

I might be killed

Suffer some sort of accident

It’s no secret that I’m under surveillance

And I’m not being paranoid

What sort of government would not be watching its anarchists?

Even better if they are suicidal…

Should be easy to get rid of them, right?

I wish

If I was a martyr it would at least mean something

I’m far from that

I’m even far from being an anarchist

I’m still being listened to

I’m still under surveillance

Even though it is against the law

What sort of government would respect the law?

Or make them as they go along to suit their fancy?

Terrorists is the perfect excuse

To torment nice people like me

 

You asked for it

That’s what you get

Turn normal people into revolutionaries

Don’t question yourself

You are on the right track

Just ignore the consequences

 

I should not be writing this…

 

 

Warning! My fish has died

 

My great porcupine fish has died!

Now I’m in a fowl mood

I’m going to denounce everything and everyone

Government, hospitals, taxes, rubbish collection

Everything!

That’s just common sense, you understand

 

I’m so fucking alienated

I just can’t think anymore

My dead fish is all I need

To start a crusade

To make sure you lose everything

To get you all killed

 

I can no longer connect the dots

I can’t see what makes my angry

I turn everyone I know to despair

Because my damn fish has died

That’s common sense these days

When every single simple thing is just too much!

Unrelated problems become the problem of humanity

 

I can’t even sort myself out

My personal problems are taking over

I can’t pay my bills

I’m spending too much

Though I’m not spending on anything

Interests, interests on these credit cards and loans!

My income is way under the inflation

I can’t see clearly anymore

My rage is destroying everything

 

You better watch out

Because if my star fish dies

I can assure you

You will all die with it

 

 

I’ve reached rock bottom

 

I’ve reached rock bottom

Just like everyone else on this planet

What a great civilised society we have built here

Something to cherish and be proud of

 

Depression, anxiety attacks, zombies

Dysfunctional people

Mind tricks, psychological abuse

The world we live in

 

Welcome! Welcome to the new neuroses

 

Never thought we could be living a harder life than my ancestors

They were labourers, tree cutters, their garden was their survival

I thought I could not do that and be happy

Now I wonder how happy they would be living the life I lead

 

Let’s face it

The pioneers of the new world had it easy

Compared to us

Who suffer from just about every new mind disease our generation has brought

 

 That we can suddenly be called crazy

That we need some psychological help

And every new pill on the market

Tells a lot about who we are as a society

 

Mind disease is the new norm

We can’t deal with it anymore

Exasperation is the word

Poof! Another disconnected one…

A new diagnosed one every minute

 

Can’t blame management

Can’t blame capitalism

Can’t blame policies

It must be you then

Taken individually

You are responsible for these neuroses

Yes you! Don’t look away

 

You are making the life of everyone a nightmare

And you don’t even realise it

Time for a check up

Some soul searching

And you better come back with a better attitude

You are driving the rest of us mad

And surely you are driving yourself crazy in the process?

If not then you enjoy it, you masochist bastard

And we need to get you out of here

And we will eventually

 

We will identify you as the problem

It’s a question of time

Once we try to find the problem and the solution

You’ll be the first one to go

Your successful track record speaks for itself

 

 

I am now a Satanist

 

Extraordinary

How at first glance

I can look like anything

Even a Satanist

Is it just too much to ask

From any fucking passer by

To pay one second of attention

Enough to understand

That I am not a Satanist?

And what the fuck is a Satanist anyway?

I wonder

I guess there is just no hope

For any desperate person

In this world

They’ve all been brainwashed

None of them would even raise their head

To look at you in the eye

And understand what you might actually

Be all about

An anarchist

A satanist

A lost one

There’s no coming back

I’m responsible for my mistakes

Can’t make them understand anything

And perhaps it is better this way

Fuck you

Fuck you all!

I don’t give a fucking shit about you

Believe what you want

I don’t have one more second to lose with you

I am beyond that point

Leave me alone!

I don’t care

I

Just want

To be left alone

(Hey, I sound just like a Michael Jackson song!)

 

 

You’re such a liar

 

Not sure if I should admire you

You’re the richest person I have ever met

The richest person in the world in fact

And yet, you pretend to be a nobody

To make it even more convincing

A lesbian nobody

But I know better

And I’m not the only one

You were followed

They know who you really are

You’ll be on the news

Poor you

I’m starting to understand

Still, you could not do anything without looking at me

Did you feel judged?

I am so nobody

Why would you care?

It was nice

For a moment

To feel that power over you

Yet, you could not enjoy yourself

Or did you?

What was more striking was not you

It was your girlfriend

I could have married her you know

She seems to have more to tell than you will ever have

And yet, she will never go anywhere

She will never be recognised

She will never be anything

Just like me

Sometimes though

I can be pretentious

I can feel I am more important than you will ever be

And you certainly did not help

You admired me for my insignificant accomplishments

I felt strong

I felt I was bigger than you will ever be

Forgetting your fortune, of course

She was something

She was more than you

Fascinating

Weird

Incomprehensible

She deserved all my attention

And yet, I know nothing about her

I want to know everything about her!

You are nothing next to her

The world will never know

She was just a decoy

But what a decoy…

 

 

It will be over faster than making coffee

 

That’s all I fucking want!

To be left alone

To write

When I’m fucking inspired!

That’s all

That’s all!

I’m not asking for much, am I?

After 10 years

I would have thought you would understand

Come here and give me a kiss

You still don’t understand

You say I need to be nice

If you were not so fucking cute

I could ditch you here, right now

But I can’t

Why?

You’re certainly nothing special

You’re certainly the most annoying person

I have ever met

Why is it so difficult to ditch you?

It should be instant

Like making coffee

You’re history!

That’s how it should be!

Careful

Or else it will be over

Faster than it takes

To make coffee

 

 

Tea Time

 

The weirdest thing

Is you

I still cannot make head or tail

Of what and who you really are

You’re just so weird!

There isn’t another one of you on this planet

That’s for sure

Yet, this is not why I love you

In fact, I despise you for all that you’re admired for

Impossible to explain why

Is it because I know you better?

Is it because I know you can be a bastard?

Must be

Yet, you’re so innocent

You’re so stupid

Always had a soft spot for dyslexic people

They are not responsible for what they do

They don’t know better

Easy excuse I’m concocting on your behalf

To justify why I love you

Such innocence

Can only be admired

At the cost of a living hell

It looks like I’m ready for a new bail

Another ten years of hell

I must be crazy

Where will we be in ten years?

God only knows

 

 

Let’s exploit them all

 

That was me

Ten years ago

I was so cute

I was so presentable

I was everything

I was it

I’m no longer that cute little thing

You could exploit

You’re exploiting other cute little things now

And I feel so sorry for them

I’m sure they’ll feel bad about it in ten years time

A decade is all you need

To finally understand how everything works

How you’ve been manipulated

How you’ve been brainwashed

Beyond all their hope

At least I was aware then

Most are not even aware now

They might not even understand ten years later

This is how the world goes

There’s no hope for anyone

They’re all blind as far as they can see

What an opportunity!

Let’s seize the moment

And exploit them all

 

 

The Master Bitch of Westminster

 

My Master Bitch

She’s so cruel

Yet she looks so understanding from the outside

She’s so human

So many principles,

you just don’t know where they come from

So many opinions,

you wonder if she’s not a mistake of nature

And yet, she’s my Line Manager

Overlooking the whole of Westminster

Isn’t she lovely?

We all dream of killing her in our sleep

Well I do anyway

She won’t stop at anything

She patiently waits for me to leave

And since I’m not leaving

She’s doing everything in her power to get rid of me

It’s just not working!

Poor Master Bitch

I’ll still be here after you’re gone

I’ll still be here after your dead

What the fuck am I talking about?

I’ll be the first one out that door

You will still be rotting here

After I’m long gone

Maybe you’ll make it as a director one day, bitch

How many lives would you have destroyed by then?

How many people would you have walked all over?

People who just did not share your idea of this world?

Reason enough to get rid of them, isn’t it?

I just can’t stand so much hypocrisy

You’re so artificial…

You could be a statue in Parliament Square

You’re my top Master Bitch

Overlooking Westminster

It has been an honour to be your lap dog

I had never met such a master

Top of your league

I curse you

I hope you live to regret it

Master Bitch of Westminster

 

 

The most miserable human being on earth

 

We’re the new ones on the block

We’re the commercial minded ones

We’re the ones supposed to show them

How to make millions

The poor souls have only been able to lose millions for years

I was supposed to work night and day

And I did

I was supposed to forget my family

And I did

I was supposed to make millions

I was to create the biggest storm ever over Westminster

And I sure did

I was to be an example to all those people you sacked

I failed

In the end

I am just like them

It kills you

I’m sorry

No I am not

You fucking bastard

You’re the one who needs to learn about life

You’re the one who needs a social life outside of the ODPM

You’re the one who needs to fucking leave the office

And witness your children grow

Have a fuck once in a while

It might make all the difference

I won’t be part of your plans

You won’t turn me into the most miserable human being

That ever walked the earth

You won’t turn me into you

You’re too professional for my taste

You poor miserable bastard

 

 

Dear me, I’m working with Thatcher herself

 

No more pity for any of you

You are trying hard to get me sacked

You are recording every single word I am saying

Every single word I have written

You are using all this against me

To paint the worst nightmare Westminster ever saw

I’m not that bad, really

Once you get to know me

Of course you never tried to get to know me

You have those old colonial ideas

I’m Canadian

I’m talking the language of the colonies

I’m not worth much in your eyes

I don’t deserve to run myself

I don’t deserve to make any decision without your guidance

Like if I give a fucking fuck about what you think

I’ve seen enough corruption around here to write 20 bricks

All best-sellers to be, I’m sure

Thatcher is not dead

She is surviving in all those zombies I’m working with

They have identify me as a problem

They’re trying hard, so hard, to erase me

No more of you here are needed

You’re long past date

Why don’t you just accept defeat and die?

I’ll make sure it does happen

I will denounce you all

I’ll show to the world what you really are about

I will come back in few years time

I will walk all over Parliament Square

You will then be long gone

I’ll be the king of the place

My name will resonate through the walls of Westminster

Mark my words

This battle is not over

It is just beginning

I’ll be the one who will bring your downfall

 

 

The ODPM has failed again

 

The ODPM has failed again

Do Wah Diddy Diddy

 

Full of such incompetent people

It is not surprising

The place is run like a tip

Let’s make sure all the pigs have been fed

And that they are all fat

Up to the point of bursting

And let’s forget about everything else

They will be ready to eat soon

We will start shipping around November

Just in time for Christmas

 

The ODPM has failed again

Do Wah Diddy Diddy

 

I’m not surprised

They think like in the last century

They’re only there for prestige and money

None of them ever hoped to make a difference

To change the world

To accomplish anything worthwhile

I would not trust them with my lunch money

Why should you trust them with anything else?

 

The ODPM has failed again

Do Wah Diddy Diddy

 

Bad system

Very bad system

Everything needs to be changed

Starting with everyone working at the ODPM

They feel so self important

You would think they were the Prime Minister himself

They think they are the Queen

And unfortunately, they don’t get replaced every four years

You’re always ran by the same useless cunts

None of them deserve to be alive, that’s for sure

I would pass a new law

Obliging the government to exterminate them every once in a while

We would all feel better for it

Things might actually work better for a change

Things might actually happen for a change

 

The ODPM has failed again

Do Wah Diddy Diddy

 

We should turn that into a song

It’s a leitmotiv in Westminster

It comes back again and again

No wonder

The ODPM is filled with the most stupid people

You could ever find

Result of our wonderful voting system

That fails the people

 

The ODPM will fail again and again

Do Wah Diddy Diddy

 

 

You’re corrupt

 

It will take more than that to get rid of me

I can tell you that now

I have a mission

To destroy you all

And I will

At least I will make you look so ridiculous

That the result will be the same

Never suspected that I could be the one

Observing

Reporting

Denouncing you

You would never have hired me in the first place

Just to say

You never know who you really are dealing with

Make me angry

And they’ll be no mercy

I don’t give a shit anymore about any of you

I don’t care about losing that job I never wanted

I’m only here to study you

Like a fish in a fish bowl

I’m not impressed by you

I’m not impressed by any of it

In fact you confirmed everything I already thought

You’re useless

And you hide that fact under such pretence

That just does not suit you

You’re sad

You’re ugly

You’re corrupt

 

Gosh, where should I start?

There’s so much to say

I could destroy you all in one hour

The time it takes me to write an article

For The Guardian

And they would probably not publish it

You’re well protected, there’s no two ways about it

It won’t last

It cannot last

You’re rotten at the core

Everyone knows

Or am I the only one who knows?

I’ve got to tell everyone

I’ve got to tell the world

Before you get rid of me

Or else, it will look like revenge

But who cares anyway?

I’ll be the one denouncing you all

You’re corrupt

 

 

I’ve gone mad!

 

Mister and gentlemans

I can’t speak the language, no matter

You don’t deserve to have authors that speak your language,

they all write crap anyway

None of them would denounce Westminster for a start

Here is a book that will open your mind to the reality of London

It is the biggest black hole I’ve ever seen

A nightmare

So much so that 75,000 professionals leave it every year

They just can’t stand the damn place,

and they’re the only ones who can afford to leave

Or else it would be millions flying away to freedom

If I could, I would leave too, right now

But I can’t, I’m stuck here

It has been so for the last 10 years

I’m so full of bullshit it comes out by every pore I have

I can’t see any solution

I can’t see anyone coming to my rescue

I’m stuck here forever

I need to leave the place!

I need to get out of here!

I need to radically change my life!

I need to leave these brainless people far behind

Tomorrow morning!

Six weeks notice is far too much

Which imbecile will hire me now?

With six weeks notice?

You play your game very well

We are your prisoners

Might be made of gold

In the most significant place on earth

It is still a prison

 

 

Another Disciplinary

 

Every fucking human being is now freaking out

It looks like I have fucked up big time

In reality they all fucked up

It is clear

They did not want it

They did not want any of what you are trying to accomplish

I have been your scapegoat for far too long

They have sabotaged all your projects

That unfortunately became mine

I had to explode at them

They all complained

Now I look like the black sheep

None of them ever had any intention

Of doing their job

So everything is now a failure

And if you wish to see it as my failure

I just need to find a way out

But I can’t

I have to stick around in Westminster for much longer

We cannot on demand erase our life

Be destroyed completely

And start anew the next day somewhere else

I have to go through hell

And you too, I’m sure

Better blame me I guess

It makes you look whither than white

We all know who’s to blame

Another disciplinary

Against me

I was just trying to get them to do their job

They were already happy not doing anything

Why should it change? They wonder

I wonder too

Better hire someone as incompetent as them

I’m sure you won’t have any disciplinary to do for a while

But no results either

Let it all crumble to dust!

Let it all be a big waste of money!

Not calculating time

Wonderful!

And let’s blame me for their incompetence!

Even better

Maybe I’ll just leave and everything will look good

I’ll take all the blame

It won’t happen

It will fail

I’ll be there to explain why

I’ll get you all fired

You fucking bunch of useless people

What can one expect?

We’re in Parliament Square after all

This is how it has been working

For more than 1000 years

 

 

Oh yes, you’re history

 

Oh yes

I was expecting it

Oh yes

I knew it would happen

Oh yes

It was written in the sky

Oh yes

I was so certain of it, that’s why I took the job

Oh yes

It was so obvious, I knew it before I arrived

Oh yes

I needed to see first hand

Oh yes

I needed to write a few books about it

Oh yes

It is all done and finished now

Oh yes

It will look bad on you, not on me

Oh yes

You have proved my point beyond hope

Oh yes

You’re not fit to run this country

Oh yes

It is now recorded for posterity

Oh yes

Now I guess you should suffer

Oh yes

Try to justify yourself now, it’s too late

Oh yes

You’re gone

Oh yes

You’re history

 

 

King Henry the Eighth

 

How I wish all of this

Went way over my head

But it does not

I’m right in the middle of it

I feel for it

After all

My reputation, my credibility

Is on the line

I have to justify that failure

Dear me

One has to be egocentric once in a while

What do I get out of this?

Nothing

I know it too well

The pressure has been mounting up

I need to escape

If only in ideas

I’ve built myself quite a kingdom

In my mind

Every night I’ve got to get back to it

Wonderful kingdom

Where I’m the master or the servant

Depends on the scenario

I’ve got the most wonderful ancestry

I’m the king

I rule this place

I sort out this terrible environment

Compensating for the damning reality

Where I am nothing

I believe I am a poor little Project Executive

Who could live in Westminster with such a title?

When you read about the great accomplishments

Of King Henry the Eighth?

That was someone of great capacity

Never mind that he killed everything and everyone

Along the way

He was someone who got things done

Who changed everything on a massive scale

And I’m starting to believe

Than that’s the only way

Eradicate all these small people

Remain the master

And get things done

That’s who I am after work

I am Henry the Eighth

I live in Hampton Court Palace

I kill every single bacterium along the way

I get things done

You want results?

Here they are

You parasite

 

 

Darkest Moments, Brightest Successes

 

Is it possible?

That from your darkest moments

Will come your brightest successes?

Oh I wish I could believe it

I don’t

I’m realistic

It just does not work like that

Darkness remains in the shadow

Success never comes

It is a law of nature

 

Or so it seems

Success is something that only happens to others

Perhaps from people who never experienced darkness

The ones who ever accomplished anything

Are the ones that were there at the time

No need for brightness

They just went down in history by mistake

For being there at the right time

It is a law of nature

 

Greatness is an illusion

The biggest bastard saw an opportunity at the time

And took it

He brought darkness

It was qualified as brightness

Since no one ever accomplishes anything worthwhile

That accomplishing anything is worth mentioning

And becomes greatness

It is a law of nature

 

Yet

In my darkest moments

I feel I am creating brightness

It is only an illusion

I must be that biggest bastard

Taken this opportunity

To destroy everything

In order to reach some sort of immortality

You do not need to worry

It won’t happen

It is a law of nature

 

In my darkest moments

I have only succeeded

In reaching darkness

It is a law of nature

 

 

Ideas of Greatness

 

How could have I thought

For one second only

That I was reaching for greatness?

It is so laughable

That I am ashamed of it

My poor little cousin is looking at me

Laughing with me, I’m sure

If not laughing at me

That I could pretend to this title

Simple

I’ve been brainwashed

Like so many before me

Like so many after me

We were led to believe that Greatness

Was within our reach

It never was

It is a sad story

It took me only 30 years to understand it

So, let me break it to the new generations

You will never achieve greatness

You will never be anything worthwhile

You can forget your dreams of grandeur

You will only fall flat on your face

What the fuck did you think?

Have you been watching too much Hollywood lately?

Welcome back to reality

There are no more ideas of greatness

You can only hope for less than nothing

Useless to think you will ever be greater than the Earth

You will never

Better start becoming that engineer

Your parents always dreamt for you to be

It is perhaps your only way out

 

 

Where’s that damn cancer?

 

It comes a time when someone’s will find

That he or she is suffering from some sort of cancer

It happens to the best and worst of us

The statistics don’t lie

If we can believe them

We will all get it

We might be cured for a while

It might come back

It most certainly will

And take us all in its wave

We have no choice

There’s no cure for it

And perhaps it is just as well

Who wants to live forever?

Is life not painful enough?

Oh, I’ve been looking for years

For where that damn cancer was hiding

I’ve never found it

Neither my doctors

I’m too young I guess

Isn’t this just unfair?

Where’s my damn cancer?

I’ve got a right to it!

If statistics are not lying

And we have no reason to believe that they do

Where the fuck is it?

I have lived long enough!

I have denounced you all long enough!

Thousands would be pleased to see me go!

Where is my cancer?

I deserve it!

I want it!

I have a right to it!

I have done everything I had to do

Just like everybody else

I have breathe that air

I have been smoking none stop for ten years

I have been living in the most polluted city in the world!

What is it that someone needs to do

To get that cancer?

I’m out of solutions

I just can’t get that thing

I feel left out

Life can be so unfair sometimes!

 

 

Bombs under London

 

What a bunch of incapable terrorists

Four bombs at least

And not one of them capable of reaching me

To tell you how disappointed I am

Would be an understatement

I did not feel a thing

I did not even know it was happening

I got the rest of the day off

And the next day

Which I had off anyway with or without the bombs

Great timing!

Well, it was not totally useless

I have, after all, been the star of the event

I have been talking on the news in Canada

Coast to coast

They needed someone speaking French

Who knew his way around London

They distorted everything I said

So much so, you would have thought I saw the bombs explode

And that I witness the blood everywhere

That I was that close to die!

And they certainly did not miss interviewing my mother

Crying all over Canada because she thought I was dead

I only wish

Oh well, at least now, they know I exist

Like if I care

Life is so boring

This is the only thing that could really

Change my life

And at the moment I need that so badly

That only suicide would do it

I still have my appraisal on Tuesday

Nothing will change that

No impact whatsoever

And they call that being at war?

What a bunch of incapable terrorists!

 

 

Do you think Londoners will leave London now?

 

I sure hope so

I would be damn pleased to be able to move around every day

Without the 12 million others

Hovering over me

However I'm afraid

That a few bombs won't convince

Any Londoner to give up its 3 million pounds home

To go and breathe the fresh air everywhere else

They are more likely to leave because of

The stress

The overtime

The psychological games of their direct Managers or Directors

The terrible transport system

That makes the life of everyone a real misery

And the fact that no Londoner

Will ever smile back at you

They are more likely to tell you to fuck off if anything

That is why none of us can stand London

Not because of bombs or terrorists

That, we can deal with

 

 

More security in London, are you joking?

 

I work in Westminster

Where there are always at least 10 policemen

In my field of vision

I can't get the car anymore without getting a ticket

Passing on a yellow light does not forgive

Do it three times in a day

And you're banned for life

Don't spit your chewing gum

Don't throw that cigarette away

Instant prison sentence

Going at 32 miles an hour in a 30 zone

Is punishable by death

You want more security?

None of the 100 policemen in Parliament Square

Would have the first clue about how to stop terrorism

Or even spot the first signs of it

They are totally clueless

We can only expect them

To give us tickets for whatever stupid reason

And make our life a terrible living hell

More security does not prevent terrorism

It guarantees us being arrested

And be punished for no good reason

Have more security and policemen in your own garden if you wish

But keep them off London's streets!

 

 

Brixton, the Pulse of the Nation

 

Nothing comes to mind now

Brixton Academy

Nine Inch Nails

Full of ideas

Before

Now I’m empty

Couldn’t denounce a thing

What happened?

Was it not sufficient to suffer so much today?

It was an oven everywhere I went

That is usually enough to bring you to the brink

Of Brixton anyhow

Nothing

I was so full of it!

 Motivated like you would not believe!

Have I not got enough to denounce?

A few bombs and now no more freedom or liberties?

No more privacy and rights?

No one cares, why should I?

 What we are losing now

Will be forgotten tomorrow

No one gives a shit

Why do I?

It is a damn good question

Why should I fight for you?

You useless people who do not give a shit anyhow?

Because you don’t

You witness it

And yet you don’t care

You agree

A few bombs is all you need

To convert you to the biggest sheep

The world has ever seen

So be it then

I don’t give a shit either

Let it all go away

All that you have been fighting for, for so long

We do not need rights

We do not need freedom

There is always someone with you

At all time

Is this not reassuring?

Until you deviate slightly, that is

Then you will understand

Then you will lose everything

There will be no hiding

Finished, you are finished

This is what you have been asking for

You did not realise it

Fuck you

Blind one day

Blind forever

I’m done fighting for you

Get that Big Brother state you always wanted

No bomb will ever explode

But you’ll end up in prison for sure

We will all do

No one will be spared

A few bombs is all they needed

To change all the laws

The Big Brother state has come into our lives

We will all be guilty of something

And no one cares

So be it

I’m getting out of here

Because this is more frightening than the bombs

I’m telling you

And one day you will understand

But it will be too late

 

 

I’m not proud

 

I’m not proud

Of being a human being now

I don’t think I ever was anyway

But now I have a damn good reason

While all my fellow citizens are losing their mind

 

I’m not proud!

I’m not proud of any of you

You have given up

To the terrorists

You have given everything you had

You are asking for less

Standards have gone out the window

You deserve what is coming

This is a government’s dream

And you let it happen

 

I’m not proud

Of the human race

Of what we have achieved

Of where we are going

Nowhere

Who could be proud?

No one

We do not deserve to become great

 

I’m not proud

I’m not proud of you

You appear to have no intelligence

You cannot see beyond the next hill

You cannot see what is coming

You are doomed

And yet you don’t care

 

I’m not proud

Of being who I am

Because I cannot make a difference

I cannot tell you

I cannot change anything

I witness it

And that’s it

That is why I can only say

You deserve what you have

 

I’m not proud of what we have become

And neither should you

 

 

The Corporation

 

My god, how easy it is to influence me

How easy I can be brainwashed

That watching one documentary

I have already sold my soul

 

Kill the corporations

Since they are entity not respecting the law and democracy

Kill these companies

Since they are irreversibly polluting the environment

 

And then, oh dear

I’m right in the middle of Parliament Square

I can actually influence things

My next conference will be about sustainability

 

Pass me the bucket

The large one

I need to puke all that I have inside

Not sure if there are enough buckets around here

 

What I really need to do

Is find a corner of the planet

Not yet identified as exploitable

And retire there

 

I’m hoping to die

Before this piece of land becomes a target

Exploitation until there’s nothing left

They do need to make a few bucks out of everything

 

I’ll just pay, pay till death

I’m not allowed to have children

So no problems left to the next generations in my case

Good

 

I just need to survive, you know

I just need peace, you know

I just need one remaining green corner

Clean of corporations and governments

 

This is too much to ask today

Corruption is everywhere

The last grand-ma has fallen down

How can I hope to make this life achievement dream a reality?

 

 

Am I just fast food?

 

I write poetry like I’m talking

Good medium to denounce things

To say what I think

In the end

This is not immortal stuff

It is not grandiose

I could write that kind of stuff

I did

I know how, I’m capable

Didn’t go anywhere

Not too worried about my life achievement award

After my death

What I might be remembered for

Took me a stupid video game

To throw my life

Into full existential crisis mode

Typical me

Should I not be writing to the gods?

Should I not be only mentioning immortal things?

Esoteric stuff?

I know, I know

Mystical philosophies

The darker side

Impossible to understand

1000 years from now

You would still be debating

What it is that I was trying to say

Yeah!

Fascinating

I don’t have the time

I don’t have the resources

I don’t have the backup

I’m sorry

Only fast food is available

In the here and now

It is a sign of the times

 

 

An insignificant sheep lost amongst the billions

 

Seriously

I can’t make any difference

I cannot change anything

Let’s face it

You bastard

You make belief

No one can change anything

We cannot change one thing

Takes forever

Takes billions

Cannot rally the people

And when we do

By an extraordinary set of circumstances

It makes no difference

The government still do what it wants

The corporations still do what they want

I should be talking about luv instead

I would stand more chance to reach

A few lost sheep

About to commit suicide

Over their first ever experience

About luv

Much more important than

Political ideologies

Saving the world

Greener places to breathe

There are enough squares in London

Everywhere a German bomb fell in fact

There are more trees

Than I have minutes to live

What are we fighting for exactly?

A few whales and a few seals?

I don’t give a shit

I am just an insignificant sheep

Lost in billions

My words are not going anywhere

I’m not following the right path

I should be writing for big newspapers

Read everything there is to read about one subject

And contribute to that subject till death

I would quickly become an authority on the subject

Even if I cannot choose anything I feel is important enough

What would I be talking about?

What would I be inventing?

Creating?

A monster?

Sure enough

Frightening people

About where their life is going

In the dumpster

I’m sure they already know

I’m sure they feel as powerless as I am

Let it happen

Let’s cry afterwards

It is sad

When we’re just

One lost sheep

Amongst billions

 

 

I am in turmoil

 

How one single e-mail

Received amongst the 5000 I receive every day

Can send me in complete turmoil

Change your whole way of life

The whole way you thought

How everything was working

Suddenly life is not what you thought

You have confirmation

That you were not paranoid

A complete nut case

Dear me, I could have been right!

I could be right

There is always someone around the corner

That has more experience than you

Who saw further down the line

Who knows more than you could ever had

Learn on your own

Je suis détraqué

I’m in turmoil!

Could I have been wrong?

All those years?

Believing stuff that were pure bollocks?

Basing my whole life on hypothesis?

Making decisions wrongly?

I have been a fool!

How could have I believed all that crap?

How could have I wasted so many years?

It will change

From now on

No more idiocies

I won’t believe anything anymore

Life is what you make it

Your destiny, is what you make of it

You are more in control than you think

In fact, you control up to the last detail

Of everything that is happening

And that you get to learn about

And you can make it even larger

You can learn more and influence more

I’m no longer in turmoil

I will change my universe

And I will change the universe with it

It is within my powers

Just like it is within yours

The misery I have seen

I have let it happen

I wanted it

Or else it would not exist

It was my decision then

It will no longer be my decision

Utopia

Here we come!

 

 

My God! I’m a force of nature!

 

Funny how small one can feel

How useless

And paranoid…

And then I read my CV

My God! I’m a force of nature!

Really, I have done all that?

Are you sure this is not someone else

Lost on a different timeline?

Wonderful how we can turn

Our small achievements

Into top notch bollocks!

First class breed

I am something

I am someone

I am so powerful

I have all the contacts you will ever need

I have done the impossible

Barely unbelievable

And yet

I have not done enough

I have not done what really needed to be done

I have not achieved anything that really mattered

I sometimes feel the need to touch myself

Feel if I still have a dick

Wanking at least once a day

You would think I had one

With big balls

I sometimes wonder

It is never enough for my taste

Never enough for my highest standards

I have not yet escaped this solar system

I still have a lot of work to do

Then I will truly be a force of nature

And I’ll get there

Just watch me!

 

 

Imprisoned for treason

 

Yes

I read the newspapers this morning

Yes

I have a read the new line of the government

Against terrorism

Sounds like Hitler

It is Hitler’s stuff

Thank God we had Hitler

As a bad example of what not do to

To point it to the governments

To identify clearly what they have become

It burned me to the bone

I haven’t said much

It is enough

I will be charged with treason

It is worse than being a communist 40 years ago

Unthinkable

For the first time

I thought

I need to censor myself

I need to delete my texts

I need to make them forget I even wrote them

There is no more freedom of thought

Freedom of speech

All gone with the last bomb

That did not even kill anyone

It was design to frighten the people

It only resulted in frightening the government

I was not afraid

Even when the bombs were going off

I am now very afraid

Of the policemen

Of the government

Of losing my freedom

Of losing everything

And tonight

Being drunk

I thought

I won’t delete anything

Let them prosecute me

Let them imprison me for treason

Let them do whatever they want

Let’s make a point

Even if I die in the end

This is more important than anything

Our freedom

They will be judged badly in time

I hope they realise that now

Before I pay the price

I feel secure

I feel I am right

I won’t stop

On the account

Of a frightened government

If a few bombs is all they needed

To turn themselves into monsters

Then we have bigger problems

Than terrorism

It needs to be dealt with

And I will willingly

Give my life for the cause

See ya people!

I will go to prison for your freedom

Hope you remember it one day

 

 

I want to be God!

 

What am I doing here?

Oh God, I don’t know

I must be lost

God help me!

This is sin city

This is too much

For my poor soul

I’m trying

I’m trying very hard

To remain pure and simple

I must be the most complicated

Human being on the planet

I must be the most impure

Human being on the planet

I am awaiting salvation

Here is my confession

I have lied

I have stolen

I have done much worse

Believe me

Is there no salvation for me?

I’m condemned

To walk around for eternity

Looking for my way out

Nowhere to be found

Repeating the same things

Over and over again

I’m the ghost of destiny

God, please help me

To get out of this nightmare

I never wanted it

I never thought this is where I would be

I was not thinking

I drank myself to death every night

Just to forget

Just to forget to sin

I guess in the end

It is just not possible

To not sin

I guess in the end

It is just not possible

To be as perfect as you are

I guess in the end

It is just not possible

To be God

 

 

Geniuses are killed before they’re born

 

Investigate!

Behind every huge project

You might find the genius who made it come true

His or her name will have disappeared completely

It is like if the genius never existed

Why is this so?

Fear of the mediocre people

The ones incapable of achieving anything

Who will do anything they can

To get the credit they don’t deserve

They will go far, don’t get me wrong

They appear to be useless at their job

But be quite practical about how to prove

That they deserve all the credits

They must be geniuses in their own way

And full of false pretence

I meet them all the time in Richmond

All these useless people

Who did nothing

And yet, claim they did everything

And unfortunately got the credit for it

They are shallow

It is obvious

Only them cannot see how stupid they are

Only stupid people would see them for what they are not

Their life is empty at any rate

They need to fill it with lies

And we need to be able to see them for what they are

A piece of shit

You are a piece of shit

And you smell very bad

How dare you snub me?

How dare you see me as nothing?

When I am the motor of any project you worked on?

Well, I will no longer be your slave

I will no longer work on anything

Without making sure my name will be there at the end

It will have to be in my contract

You won’t get the credit for what I do

This is finished

It took me a long time to learn

But now I know

And if it costs me the biggest projects ever

To see my work becoming a reality in these other mediums

So be it

I’ve been there

I’ve done that

No one knows

No more of that bullshit

From now on

If I’m there

If I’ve done that

Everyone will know

And everyone will know

That you did fuck all!

 

 

I'm moving to L.A.!

 

I should have known

That so much misery served a purpose

That such a nightmare had a meaning

That it was leading me to something larger than the universe

Not exactly freedom

However much nearer to the great destiny

I always thought I was leading

 

I should have known

That the bitches I worked with over the years

Were not just meaningless bitches

They were a necessary evil

To bring me to glorious times

It is just a bonus if I wrote these books

Out of their bitchiness

That might serve another purpose

On one of the paths of my destiny

 

I should have kept faith in destiny!

It was leading me somewhere all those years

I am about to board a plane that will be decisive

I will land in the eternal city where everything happens

Where my destiny will be decided

Where my existence will take a new meaning

 

I should have known!

Kept faith!

Gosh! Took ten years to get there!

What a waste!

How could have I foreseen that?

Impossible, incredible

Just have to keep faith in destiny

It is bringing you somewhere

May take years to finally understand where

To understand why

 

I should have known

That my life was not completely wasted

I should have

I have been blinded along the way

Could not understand the meaning of it all

Made no sense

Could have committed suicide a dozen times

What a mistake that would have been

I am about to start living

The life I was meant to live

Nothing will stop me now

 

I should have known

That one day I would be saying

Farewell Westminster

Farewell London

Farewell bitch!

I'm already out of here

My destiny awaits me

I will explode faster than you can say I had a dream

Oh yes I have a dream

And the ride is just about to start

I'm moving to L.A.!

 

 

I'm out of here!

 

This wonderful sentence

I could repeat it until I die

I'm out of here!

Yes I am!

Fuck you!

Fuck you all!

You

Who never believed in me

Who never thought I could do something with my life

Who never thought I could make a difference

On a massive scale

I will!

Yes I will

Change everything

On a massive scale

I already have quite an army

Just watch me

That army will grow in size

Useless people finally getting somewhere

Just wish it!

That's it!

Just wish a wonderful destiny

And it happens

As simple as that

I did it

It works

No need for prayers

No need for black magic

No need for psychic mediums

Just wish it!

And it happens

 

I'm out of here!

Yes I am

Finally!

Gone in search for a better destiny

I found it

Lot's of work ahead

I might die in the process

But what about this sudden surge of energy?

Motivation?

Dedication?

I have been reminded that I was on the right track

That I should never give up

I will get there

Even if it is just to remind me

To work until I fall down

Every night

Until there is no life within me to speak of

I will work myself to death

Every night

I am energised

I was reminded

Electric shock

What are you doing? It says

Why are you wasting your time? I’m being told

Exactly

What have I been doing in the last year?

Wasting my time in Westminster?

Where all the losers of this world end up?

No more excuse

Back to work

Double full time

Night and day

No sleep required

On this road to eternity

On this road to immortality

I will succeed

In the most extraordinary way

You will hear my name resonate

Through these walls

I will mean something to everyone on the planet

I am deluded enough to believe it

It will be more than a simple credit

More than just a name known in the industry

I will be Madonna

I will be Michael Jackson

I will be Steven Spielberg

I will be all of them and more

I will be heard!

I will change the face of this planet!

 

My God, I'm just on alcohol

What would it be if I were on coke?

I'm already turning into a monster

Got to get back on Earth

Find my two feet on the ground

I'm so humble usually

Cannot believe in myself

Cannot believe in a great destiny

Well

Let's get out of here

And find out

Where this destiny can bring me

I’m out of here!

 

 

Fuck Mummy! I will succeed!

 

Oh mummy!

Please let me go!

Don't you understand what it means to me?

Don't you understand what it means?

Why can't you understand?

Why is it that everything I do just sounds like I'm crazy?

And that I am again destined to fail spectacularly?

Have I not accomplished enough for you?

Have I not proven that I am capable

Of doing something out of my life?

What would prove it to you?

An Oscar?

I suspect that even then it would not be enough

You are destined to see me as a failure

Is it because you had to pay a few of my bills years ago?

Is this why you can't forgive and can't forget?

How sad is your life

That you cannot see beyond all that

Money

The last thing in this world

That should stop anyone

Do you want money?

I'll give you money

I will cover you with money

Until we cannot see your ass

Get a grip

I am not completely insane you know

I have a brain and it is not completely useless

I have dreams

And I am on my way to make them come true

Why can't you believe in me?

Why do you have to be this shadow

Overpowering my decisions?

I won't be stopped by anyone

I won't be stopped by you

Better realise that now

I will succeed

Not because of you

And I will one day

Cover you with money

Since everything in your world

Seems to revolve around that

What a shame

When money should stop every single great project

Every single great destiny

On its way to success

Money won't stop me

Mummy won't stop me

To hell what they think!

I have a destiny to accomplish

And I will succeed no matter what

I will!

Mark my words

One cannot be obsessed with success

Without eventually succeeding

One cannot have achieved so much

Without eventually getting somewhere

It would make no sense

Though I agree

Many things in this world make no sense

But not that

Not my destiny

It is logical

It is mathematical

It is leading somewhere

I know it

Fuck mummy!

I’m obsessed!

I’m insane!

I will succeed!

 

 

Changing our Perspective

 

Funny how once you find your way out

Suddenly your whole universe changes

Everything looks bright

Everything looks beautiful

Your failures are suddenly successes

Your hard work paid off

Despite all the insurmountable obstacles

The damn project is making a fortune!

It was so impeccably executed

Everyone congratulates you

Master bitch herself is now so sweet

She even looks like a human being

I sympathise with her now

I finally made peace with her

And I helped her big time

I no longer see her as a threat

She no longer sees me as a threat

My poor boss, is only trying his best

To get his department somewhere

I have now all his respect

Only kind words come out of his mouth

After the storm

We’re just a big and happy family

Working in Westminster

Almost like a love story

Why could I not see that before?

Why was it such a misery before?

I have not even told them yet that I was leaving

It makes no sense

Oh yes it does

I had to go through it

I had to survive it

I had to learn from it

I knew, that’s why I took the job in the first place

But we quickly forget

We get caught in the game

And now I have learnt a few lessons of life

And I am ready to move on

While everything looks peaceful

And everything is in order

Just how it should be

I never thought I could turn this into a success

I never thought I could suddenly like Master Bitch

I never thought that overnight my universe would change

To such an extent

This is the sign of destiny

There is a reason for everything

There is a God

Don’t panic

I’m just kidding here

It is still strange and unexpected though

Was it just perspective?

Was I just seeing everything like a living hell?

Under the stress?

Whilst everything was going smoothly and fine?

I don’t believe so

These are the mechanisms of existence in action

I am following a destiny

And I am ready for what it will throw at me

In Los Angeles

And I’m sure I will have even more

To complain about

Oh well

That’s life!

 

 

My year of hell in Westminster

 

I still can’t believe it’s over

I’m quite proud of my accomplishment

I worked like a dog 60 hours a week

It took over my life completely

I came up with the conference manual

And just about every possible reports,

and analysis you could imagine

I have established all the processes,

for the ones who will come after me

I have shown that it works

That it is successful

I am worth something in at least one field on this planet

Even though I despise that field like pest

I’m proud of myself

Even though this huge construction

Is immaterial, virtual, just ideas and concepts

It will all go to waste

The only thing to be gained from it

Is what appears now on my CV

And it is what got me the job in L.A.

How funny

That my year of hell

Was the only way for me to move on

To exactly where I wanted to go

Where everything might happen

And I did not have to do anything for it to happen

I never applied for a job in the US

They found me

In other words, it fell from the sky

So it was not all wasted after all

It served a purpose

Though there is no way I could have foreseen it

I kind of knew anyway

I felt one year was enough

If not too much

It took that long to prove a success

And now I feel great and powerful

Confident that I have the experience

And that I deserve this huge bollocks salary

And great responsibilities

Although, once again, I don’t want that

I don’t want that job

It is going to be another year of hell

What possesses me to continue

Is beyond comprehension

I could just give up

Go back to the North of Québec and die there

Without doing anything anymore

For the rest of my life

I’m sure I could succeed in doing that

Considering everything I succeeded at in the past years

Dossing around has always been easy

Or so you would think

However it is not acceptable to me

Probably because you are so judgemental

I would never survive your judgement

So I’ve got to get on the boat

And be ready for another

Year of hell in L.A.

 

 

In Between Days

 

Unfortunately

I have the time to see it happen

I have the time to think about what is to come

I don’t like it

I wish it was there right now

Before I had the time to doubt myself

To doubt the universe

And its mechanisms

Oh, how I am wasting time!

Oh, will it still be there for me?

Will I be able to accomplish anything once I’m there?

Do I need proof that I am following my destiny?

Can I leave all doubts out the door?

Oh, I wish I could

Oh, I’m not so sure it will all happen

Am I still in control?

Am I building up this huge work of art?

Or am I just as lost as I always thought I was?

Am I just a useless piece of crap?

Living within other lost ones

With no ambition whatsoever

Who can only complain

And complain

And complain

Until there is nothing left

That resembles life?

I am so tired to hear this planet whinge

That I’m considering wild solutions

To stop this whinging

I’m gonna turn myself into a weapon of mass destruction

I’ve been pretty successful so far

As I am myself a first class whinger

However I can’t stand it anymore

On the verge of such a radical change

There is no more time to whinge

Only time to think

Only time to plan

Only time to dream

I have no more time

For the problems of the humanity

I am in between days

Before the misery ends

Before the dream starts

And I won’t let anything stop me

Even for a second

Get lost!

Yes! All of you

Get out of my way!

I am on the path to my destiny

The past no longer exists

You no longer exist

Only I count for something now

Only I exist

I have to figure out

Everything

I have to figure out

What it is that I’m supposed to do now

Where it is that I am really going

What I am really going to achieve

I have work to do

And I will do it

Even if it kills me

Even if it kills you

 

Oh, how I wish I was no longer

Oh, I wish I was no longer

In between days

 

 

It’s party time!

 

I have been so close to death for so long

That I never thought I would hear myself say this

But it is time

It’s party time!

Yes Sir!

Yes Madam!

It is time to party!

It will be full on

It will be full blast

As I am not one to party with

I will be drunk before the first hour is up

I will have told you everything I ever thought about you

Before the end of the first minute

I will insult everyone here

As I always speak the truth

And I won’t feel bad for once

It is a well deserved party

Where I will hurt everyone

And for once not feel guilty about it

We’re in L.A. after all

Is it not normal to shit on everyone and everything

Who came before us?

I will take pleasure in destroying you

No matter what your accomplishments are

No matter who you are

I don’t care

I’m in town now

This is my town now

No pity for the losers

No pity for anyone

I have a goal

And I will reach it

And this is my party

I have a lot to celebrate

To get out of my system

No sorry required

I feel like it

So watch out!

There will be nothing left afterwards

Only destruction

Only what is to come

Only what I will build

It’s party time!

 

 

Did you ever exist?

 

Oh God

Did you ever exist?

I’m just not sure anymore

And I just don’t care

Such an insignificant life

I wish I could just forget you forever

And never be reminded that I once knew you

What did you expect?

I am living a dream now

You are so much this reality

I tried so hard to escape

Why would I want to get back to it now?

It is not personal

But I just cannot give a shit about you anymore

Just leave me alone

Why would I want to hear from you?

I don’t give a fuck anymore

Not that I ever did

Sorry for pretending before

I can no longer afford to pretend

I am now moving in the high spheres of this world

You are still stuck in the underground

If you could even inspire me a line

I would still pretend to be interested

But you can’t

If I wanted to commit suicide

I would invent my own ailments

No need for yours

Just forget me

As I forgot you

I am out of your reach

I’m now unreachable

Did you ever exist?

I don’t know

And I don’t care

 

 

I will fall flat on my face

 

I know

I just know

I have been paying attention

I will get there

And be a bloody success

And then I will fall flat on my face

This is how all stories go

Never mind

I would have at least been there

I would have been a bloody success

For one long minute

I will have been all that they ever talked about

Is this not worth all possible sacrifices?

Is it not worth walking over everyone to get there?

I feel ecstatic

I feel like I am about to conquer the world

I can’t breathe anymore

I sound like one of these broken machines

And yet

I will get somewhere

I will make history

Even if I have still everything to learn

Everything to construct

I have to keep it simple

So simple

So damn simple

That it won’t pass you by

I have to be intelligent about it

It cannot come from my hearth anymore

It has to come from my brain

I wasn’t sure if I still had one

It will be the time to find out

As my best work ever has to come out

I am at ground zero

Everything is still to come

Since I haven’t gone anywhere so far

I am just at the beginning

I’m still unsure of how I will go about it

Where I will start

This is ridiculous

No wonder I will fall flat on my face

I would be lucky to even get there in the first place

To be recognised even once

For a full minute

I won’t get depressed about it

Not yet anyway

Time to start thinking hard

Thinking process on

I have been switched on

For the first time ever

If I fall flat on my face

After all that

After so much energy

It would be quite a surprise

Should I prepare myself

For my grandiose failure?

For my coming back party

After accepting defeat?

No

Not after everything I’ve gone through

Not after all that I have suffered

I will be brain dead before this happens

I will kill myself before I declare failure

Great things are happening in this world right now

I will be at the centre of it all

It is a promise

I can assure you

I will gladly die

Before I fall flat on my face

 

 

I have resigned from Westminster

 

That’s it

I’ve done it

The look on Master Bitch’s face

Was worth millions

The look on my boss’ face

Was worth even more

My God!

I had the time to become a pillar

Without even realising it

I was holding it all together

I was full of promises

I was their last hope

I feel bad

What am I talking about

I have only myself to thank

To have survived for a whole year

In that nightmare which they have built

For themselves

And for me

I feel elated

I feel like I just played the best graphic adventure of all

Full length in surround sound

And now it’s over

That’s how I feel now

It was just a computer game!

It’s over! It’s over!

No more of my pitiful existence in Westminster

I’m gone forever

Dear Parliament Square

I might never see you again

And I feel great about it!

So great!

I could just die

 

 

Hollywood, here I come!

 

I am the new blood

I will revolutionize everything

I will teach you how it should be done

Even though I have no idea yet

About how I will proceed

Isn’t that wonderful?

Full of promises

Full of wonder

I am discovering the world

And you will discover it with me

Together we will go very far

We are about to embark on a journey

That will change everything

That will create the dream this world’s need

We will feel good!

We will feel this is important!

We will feel like something is different

There is hope!

Yes there is!

For anyone

For everyone

We can be more than what was supposed to be

We can throw out what it is that we were supposed to be

We can live a full life

Just as we intended it to be

Happiness is possible

Happiness is reachable

So much desire

So much hope!

Hollywood, here I come

I am the new blood

I will revolutionize everything

 I don’t need your help

I don’t need your promises

I will get there all by myself

I’ve gone so far already

There is nothing left for you to do

There is everything left for me to do

To achieve, to get there!

I don’t need to convince anyone

I don’t need to convince myself

Hollywood, here I come

I am the new blood

I will revolutionize everything